For those who had/have trouble with their weight

dragoriana · Jan 11, 2009

Do you ever get frustrated with people who just don't understand what it is like? Whether you have dropped a bunch of weight, or are trying to or about to. Do you get people who look at you and go 'it isn't that hard, what are you complaining about?' or 'oh well i have a fast metabolism i'm blessed'. I HATE those people.

My father has absolutely ruined my day in regards to something we were discussing. The only reason he had to lose weight was when he was diagnosed diabetic a few years ago. Meaning most of his life he was a stick figure, he's never dealt with this kind of lifelong issue, he only had to deal with it into his 40s when he got his pot belly and bad habit, he still wasn't a huge man. Yes i know other diabetics can be large most of their life, but this is a different thing with him. While on the other hand i have been heavy since highschool hit, and have been on numerous diets, fads and other. Depression hit after severe bullying, taunts, name calling, students physically hitting out on me. If anyone tells me that i'm using that as an excuse to eat i will freaking scream!

I don't have the money for lapband, and while it may be painful and such, it seems to me an easier way to get skinner than the way i'm struggling to control my eating day to day. Trying to find ways to keep myself filled without filling my stomach if that makes sense.

Some people just don't seem to get it. I'm really sorry to rant but this has me extremely angry. I'm in the midst of losing it, i'm not as big as a house, but i know that i can't yo-yo forever and i need to be lighter so i can be not only physically, but emotionally healthy.

Does anyone else know what this is like? >:|

ARGH!!

mews2much · Jan 11, 2009

I am trying to lose weight and have been hoing to Jenny Craig for almost a year.
I can not eat most the food and get severe migraines and bad reactions from any fake sugars.
I have lost about 7 pounds in a year and 18 pounds in 2 years.
I need to lose about 20 more pounds still.
Do not let other people make you feel bad.
Would you like to post on the Jenny Craig website?

algebrapro18 · Jan 11, 2009

Originally Posted by Dragoriana

Do you ever get frustrated with people who just don't understand what it is like? Whether you have dropped a bunch of weight, or are trying to or about to. Do you get people who look at you and go 'it isn't that hard, what are you complaining about?' or 'oh well i have a fast metabolism i'm blessed'. I HATE those people.

My father has absolutely ruined my day in regards to something we were discussing. The only reason he had to lose weight was when he was diagnosed diabetic a few years ago. Meaning most of his life he was a stick figure, he's never dealt with this kind of lifelong issue, he only had to deal with it into his 40s when he got his pot belly and bad habit, he still wasn't a huge man. Yes i know other diabetics can be large most of their life, but this is a different thing with him. While on the other hand i have been heavy since highschool hit, and have been on numerous diets, fads and other. Depression hit after severe bullying, taunts, name calling, students physically hitting out on me. If anyone tells me that i'm using that as an excuse to eat i will freaking scream!

I don't have the money for lapband, and while it may be painful and such, it seems to me an easier way to get skinner than the way i'm struggling to control my eating day to day. Trying to find ways to keep myself filled without filling my stomach if that makes sense.

Some people just don't seem to get it. I'm really sorry to rant but this has me extremely angry. I'm in the midst of losing it, i'm not as big as a house, but i know that i can't yo-yo forever and i need to be lighter so i can be not only physically, but emotionally healthy.

Does anyone else know what this is like? >:|

ARGH!!

I know how you feel. I've been overweight my entire life and was classfied obease in 7th grade. By the time i was in my 5th semester of college I was tipping the scales at 420-430 pounds. I ate for emotional reasons and do to something that happened in my child hood that I really don't want to discuss here. I totally understand how people can judge us and not understand how hard this is. I have had room mates in college that were horrid about this kind of thing. One of them thought it would be funny to suspend my bed 6 feet in the air over the heater and then not let me open the window at night. He was just crule but i got him back...I stopped showering and after about 2 weeks he was begging for mercy...lol.

Anyway I had lap band surgery on December 28, 2006 so if you have any questions just let me know and if you ever just need to talk I am more than happy to. You can PM, email, or Instant message me any time. Feel free to add me and talk any time you need I'm on most of the time.

*Mod Note: PM for other ways to contact.

laureen227 · Jan 11, 2009

i understand - i was overweight or obese [morbidly obese prior to surgery] almost all of my life.
my gastric bypass was covered by my insurance, except for about $2000.00 - which i borrowed from my parents & paid back in about a year.
this is me, prior to my surgery [i'm the one in maroon & black]

here, i'm the one on the left

& this is now - still considered 'obese' by the BMI charts, but much improved, IMO!

leto86 · Jan 11, 2009

I'm sorry you have had to go through that.

It may not be as bad in other peoples eyes, but tiny people get picked on just as bad. I don't think it's as wide known though. My whole family is just genetically petite. Even the men. And out of 4 of us (my mums kids) two of us had major bullying in school due to being underweight. Being taunted about having eating disorders when you don't, about your family not providing for you, among other things. It got so bad at one point I started to self harm and my mum had to pull me out of school. (8th grade)
My sister is still sticking it out, but she just told me yesterday that these kids have been harassing her about her supposedly having an eating disorder.

Ultimately, people are horrible and I realize now you just gotta ignore what everyone else thinks and says.

As long as YOU feel comfortable with how YOU look(and your health), then that's all that matters. If you don't then I wish everyone the best of luck in their weight loss journey.

And I apologize if I offended anyone, I honestly don't mean any harm.

catslave101 · Jan 11, 2009

I have suffered with my weight for about 5 years now. right now I am about 250. I am only 5'3" so it sits on my stomach, butt and thighs. I hate my weight. I am going to be joining curves when I can.

kittkatt · Jan 11, 2009

I've struggled with my weight throughout my life too, and was taunted & ridiculed during my childhood from my peers and family - mostly by my dad. He was just horrible towards me, and would say things like, "When you grow up, no man will ever marry you because guys don't like fat girls" - which led to having low self-esteem, too. I still stuggle with those issues to some degree to this day.

I know how you're feeling.

No one should have to feel belittled b/c of their size. It's what's on the inside that matters - not the outside.

cats4sky · Jan 11, 2009

when i was in junior high i was up to a size 14, and that was the breaking point, i starved myself for 3 months only eating 3 very small meals a day, wow did i have the will power! i dropped to a size 5 and was hot! then slowly but surely i started going back up in size, i think in my senior year i was about back up to a 9-10, stayed there for a little bit then went up to a 10-12. discoveres metabolife and other over the counter speedy diet drugs and basically took them for a few years and was back to a bangin body, then they eventually stopped working. i was determined and stuck to many diets, im 5'6 and wanted to maintain 130 in the worst way, i even tried weight watchers but i was so hungry on that i thought i was going to pass out. i used to have amazing will power and was always able to stick to about 135. now im about 145 but my body weight has shifted, my hips look really big, my butt, and thighs. i dont consider myself fat, just curvy! im always so hungry and so sick of struggling to lose that if i stay between 140-145, i think ill just be content with that. i have an appetite like no one would believe, when i tell people that they are like "yeah right" and then when they see me eat they are like where do you put it all!!!!! so im thinking even thought im a bit overweight my metabolism must not be too bad, cause i should prob be alot fatter lol. i just felt like my whole life ive been on a diet, and why now i just go through the day and eat reasonably and check the scales 1x per week. and im just not as motivated to diet like i used to, maybe cause im getting older, or maybe cause im in a very secure relationship....who knows!

and then i get the comments cause 145 is only a little over for my hieght and people always making comments like you dont need to be on a diet, they dont understand i watch what i eat everyday of my life to keep a decent shape.

i feel everyones pain who are overweight, i went thru it bad when i was younger and i know how it is....i wish you all the best.

anyone read that book "you on a diet"? i almost picked that up today

dragoriana · Jan 11, 2009

Thanks for your replies so far guys. Wow Laureen, that's an immense difference! What i always wondered though, after a great weight loss, how do you get rid of really floppy skin without surgery? I know about toning exercises and such, but i suppose there's only so much that can be done without the whole nip/tuck aspect?

Leto - I'm sorry to hear that. I hopefully didn't say anything to indicate i hated skinny people

When i see skinny people i don't go all green eyed and go 'oh she MUST be anorexic'. But i assume if someone has been/is that is can be just as unhealthy as having too much weight than just too little.

That's the thing too, their is this ideal in society, that everyone has to look 'beautiful' to be accepted. Because if someone sees me they may assume i don't eat healthy and don't get out, but it's the opposite. I'm alot better than when i was in my teens. I don't drive so i either go out by foot or public transport. I spend alot of time in the garden, i clean, cook, exercise (not as much as i should), watch alot less tv than i used to and i probably eat take-away food maybe once a fortnight if not less. This may sound like an excuse...but under the huggable bits i do actually have quite a bit of muscle

Anyway, i'm sure you didn't offend anyone, and i hope you didn't take offence by anything i said either. I can't imagine what it's like to be on the other end of the scale. And you are right, not alot of people would imagine skinny people would get picked on.

you know it's just nice to know there are other people with the same frustrations, makes me feel less alone.

laureen227 · Jan 11, 2009

Originally Posted by Dragoriana

Thanks for your replies so far guys. Wow Laureen, that's an immense difference! What i always wondered though, after a great weight loss, how do you get rid of really floppy skin without surgery? I know about toning exercises and such, but i suppose there's only so much that can be done without the whole nip/tuck aspect?

you can't, not really. if i were able, i'd have a tummy tuck, breast lift & brachioplasty [arm lift?] but i can't afford it. i really need the brachioplasty [IMO] the most - altho, i'm usually cold, so i just don't wear short sleeves or sleeveless stuff - doesn't help for swimming, tho. however, the only one of those i'm likely to get covered by insurance is the tummy tuck, due to recurrent yeast infections/skin breakdown. i haven't pursued it, as yet, because i'd really like to lose about 30 more pounds - but if that doesn't happen in the next year or so, i'll be looking into what my options are.
wanna see my 'butterfly wings'?

dragoriana · Jan 11, 2009

Originally Posted by laureen227

wanna see my 'butterfly wings'?

hrm as tempting as that sounds..no thanks

swampwitch · Jan 11, 2009

I grew up being told that I was not pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, etc. Even in adulthood, my mother would tell me over and over that she didn't like how I dressed, my major in college, where I lived, who I dated, the way I wore my hair, on and on you get the idea. I tried to please her for so many years... I studied, practiced, learned, and tried and tried and tried.

And you know what? It was never enough for her.

When I was about 30 I realized it would never be enough. Through the help of friends and my sister, I realized that I was an accomplished musician and I had put myself through college for two degrees. I saw that I could reach goals and keep commitments. I was a decent person with many good friends, and I wasn't that bad-looking either!

I started realizing that it doesn't matter what anybody says, and that included the one person who was supposed to care about me more than anyone in the world, and who was supposed to love me unconditionally. I realized that my mother was wrong, wrong, wrong. I stopped living my life for her.

I started to clearly see that the only things about me that matter are what is in my heart and how I treat other living things. The rest is stupid, the rest is superficial. How we look, where we live - those things can change in the blink of an eye.

My point is that why on earth should we care what a stranger thinks of us? A person whom we don't know and who doesn't know us... if this person is mean-spirited that is all the more reason not to give their words our attention.

It's more difficult to tune out a parent, but if the parent is destructive, we have to realize that we don't value this person's opinion, and we certainly shouldn't take his/her words to heart.

Listen to the people you love and respect. Believe them when they are talking.

It's so easy to believe something derogatory about ourselves... but how often do we deny it when somebody says something good?

You can't control what others say or do, but you can control if it affects you or not. it's not easy but you can master it. Once you have accepted yourself, you can stand firm and not be pulled in different directions by different people. Once you like yourself, the nasty people will back off.

Originally Posted by Dragoriana

That's the thing too, their is this ideal in society, that everyone has to look 'beautiful' to be accepted....

It's funny, but if you look around, there aren't many celebrity-type-looking people in real life. If someone would hit me with a rude remark, I would give it right back at them. I'd look for anything about them that isn't perfect and I'd immediately point it out to them, just like they did to me, it's being a mirror.

When you mirror back to people, they start to see themselves and sometimes it's not very pretty.

I wish you lots of luck, and I hope you can start loving and accepting yourself just exactly as you are right this minute.

kiwideus · Jan 12, 2009

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I grew up being told that I was not pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, etc. Even in adulthood, my mother would tell me over and over that she didn't like how I dressed, my major in college, where I lived, who I dated, the way I wore my hair, on and on you get the idea. I tried to please her for so many years... I studied, practiced, learned, and tried and tried and tried.

And you know what? It was never enough for her.

When I was about 30 I realized it would never be enough. Through the help of friends and my sister, I realized that I was an accomplished musician and I had put myself through college for two degrees. I saw that I could reach goals and keep commitments. I was a decent person with many good friends, and I wasn't that bad-looking either!

I started realizing that it doesn't matter what anybody says, and that included the one person who was supposed to care about me more than anyone in the world, and who was supposed to love me unconditionally. I realized that my mother was wrong, wrong, wrong. I stopped living my life for her.

I started to clearly see that the only things about me that matter are what is in my heart and how I treat other living things. The rest is stupid, the rest is superficial. How we look, where we live - those things can change in the blink of an eye.

My point is that why on earth should we care what a stranger thinks of us? A person whom we don't know and who doesn't know us... if this person is mean-spirited that is all the more reason not to give their words our attention.

It's more difficult to tune out a parent, but if the parent is destructive, we have to realize that we don't value this person's opinion, and we certainly shouldn't take his/her words to heart.

Listen to the people you love and respect. Believe them when they are talking.

It's so easy to believe something derogatory about ourselves... but how often do we deny it when somebody says something good?

You can't control what others say or do, but you can control if it affects you or not. it's not easy but you can master it. Once you have accepted yourself, you can stand firm and not be pulled in different directions by different people. Once you like yourself, the nasty people will back off.

It's funny, but if you look around, there aren't many celebrity-type-looking people in real life. If someone would hit me with a rude remark, I would give it right back at them. I'd look for anything about them that isn't perfect and I'd immediately point it out to them, just like they did to me, it's being a mirror.

When you mirror back to people, they start to see themselves and sometimes it's not very pretty.

I wish you lots of luck, and I hope you can start loving and accepting yourself just exactly as you are right this minute.

Well said.

whisky'sdad · Jan 12, 2009

I started gaining weight in my sophmore year and now tip the scales at just over 300 and I'm 5' 8". My main problem is that I love the taste of food. Alot of times, I just gorge for the heck of it because it tastes so good!

I'm now in a different country and it is a challenge to figure out what it is that is on the shelves at the market. Pictures really help, along with a phrasebook. But, I find that I'm not eating as much as I did when I was in the states.

So, combined with the fact that Prague is a VERY walkable city and my current eating habits, I should see the weight start to come off. I'm also waiting for my Biggest Loser books. I joined the Biggest Loser Club! My dad is recording the new season for me as I don't have satellite here.

I don't know if you have tried Weight Watchers, but they teach you how to eat the foods you already have and can buy in the market.

cruisermaiden · Jan 12, 2009

I just wanted to add that I understand exactly what you are going through. I have been overweight for my entire life â€“ starting around age 5. I found out at the age of 16 that I have a genetic condition that is the cause, but they have no cure and limited success with treatment.

People have always looked at me like the reason I was overweight was because I just ate too many Twinkies or I was too lazy to get up and work it off. I want to scream at them â€“ I spend hours on my home treadmill and have joined a gym for even more exercise, and I eat half of what other people my age are eating (and more healthful foods) and still I gain weight.

Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve dealt with the taunting and bullying from my peers and also the extreme pressure from my family and friends, especially my parents who want so badly to see me lose the weight that they canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t see how hard I try since I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t get the results they (and I!!!) want. It is even more frustrating to deal with their disappointment in me for being overweight when they are themselves!

I am only 22 so I am not ready to try lapband yet because its such a major change, but it is a distinct possibility if I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t start going in a downward direction very soon. I understand exactly what you mean about struggling to control your eating every day. Its very difficult to choose the healthy foods or to not eat when I am hungry when everyone around me can eat what and when they want and not have a problem.

People who havenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t dealt with a weight problem or been very close to someone who has really donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t get it. They can only look at the way they would lose weight â€“ put down the cookie and grab some salad, get on an exercise bike and in a few weeks drop some pounds. They donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t understand it is not that easy for people who have a problem with their weight, so they think that anyone who is overweight is just too lazy to get on with doing it. If only it was that simple!

You are not alone!

libby74 · Jan 12, 2009

Dragoriana, I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Having been larger my whole life I understand how you feel. I was the biggest of my Mom's 5 babies; I was the one who had to get her clothes in the 'chubby girls' department (yeah, Penney's and Sears actually had 'chubby' depts.) While my genes apparently account for some of the problem, I'm also an emotional eater (it sounds as if you are, too). You hit the nail on the head when you said you needed something besides food to fill you inside.

As I said, I have no words of wisdom to help with your weight loss. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck with whatever course you decide to follow.

emrldsky · Jan 12, 2009

My story is a little different...I always remembered my mom as large, but growing up I wasn't really. I'm 5'2" but very curvy, so even when I was 125lbs, I was only a size 6 (could have been a 4, if it weren't for my hips).

I gained weight in college and that was really a blessing because I was very thin at 125lbs...I mean, you could see my collar bone very clearly. So at 130-135 I looked GOOD. Then I graduated college and I saw myself gain until I was 145...and then 150. I was 150 when I got married and while I wasn't completely happy there, I wasn't really worried about it.

In the past year, I started to slowly gain. At the end of 2007, I saw 160 on the scale. In May of 2008, I saw 165, by August, I was 170, and then by October, I was 176. I was eating 1600 calories a day, and I'm 26. I really thought I was never going to lose it.

In August I had my TSH levels checked and low-and-behold, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. (It didn't surprise me, but it was still hard for me to accept.)

And you know what? I could have just given up on losing weight right there, but I kept thinking about my mom...so unhappy with herself and heartbroken I was heading down the same path. I thought about my (future) children, and how my "disease" would affect them if I couldn't get it under control...and I found a great holistic doctor that specializes in thyroid disorders...right in my town.

And you know what? He's the best thing to happen to me outside family (and my husband of course).

He put me on a low-carb diet FOR LIFE (Type II diabetes is genetic in my family) to help me avoid diabetes in 20 years, and to help me lose the weight. It's EASY for me. 50-60g of carbs a day, 50g protein, and I'm down to 155 right now. That's TWENTY pounds since October.

If anyone has hypothyroidism, you probably know how unusual that is. My thyroid symptoms are GONE, I'm heading down to a much healthier weight, and I feel so GOOD. But the PITA is...my coworkers get this look in their eyes when I get excited by my success that makes me not want to share it.

Why do people who don't do what they need to do to help themselves dislike those of us who do?

And for anyone who eats emotionally...I suggest a great behavioral therapist, if you've already been counseled for the trauma that might have caused the roller coaster.

ronit · Jan 12, 2009

I was never thin, nor fat, just a few kilos more than I should have....but when I moved to Greece I gained 20 kilo and i looked like a mountain because I am 1.72m... my mother told me about Atkins and I did if for 6 months, I dropped 25 kilos and I looked really good, I hate to exercise so i was a little like a jello... hehe ... that was about 5 years ago, every winter I gain about 5-6 kilo, but this one I took 10.... I just had this cravings for everything... now I have to start again, but I find out that every year that passes by is more and more difficut to keep the weight....
Atkins has worked for me perfectly, counting fat and calories never worked for me.
I wish I would have a fast metabolism... everything I eat stays there and is so difficult to get rid of it..

I really wish I would be stronger, I just love to eat !! and for me not to eat is the worse nightmare !

catkiki · Jan 12, 2009

I have been overweight since High School and it is very hard to loose weight. In 2004 when I had my stroke, I weighed about 230 and now I weigh about 195. (I am 5'-3") I don't eat much but I have a sedentary job. I sit on my butt teathered to a computer all day. In Nov, I won a 3 month membership to a gym and I finally cashed it in on Saturday. I am hoping that helps me shed more weight before my next dr's appt in Feb.

People, even adults, can be so cruel!

Ms. Freya · Jan 12, 2009

This is certainly a timely thread!
I was just thinking this morning about the whole weight-loss epic. I've made the decision to try and lose weight this year so last week I started Weight Watchers (My mom recently lost 30 lbs on it so it seemed like a safe bet) andm while my DH is helpful, I know sometimes he just doesn't get how tricky it can be.

My favorite unitentionally cruel comment by adults is: "Oh, I didn't know you were pregnant - you're just starting to show!" followed by excited giggling. I'm also stuck in the sedentary job, but I'm trying to get to the gym at least 3 times a week and following the whole 'core foods' plan. We'll see how it works.

I do wish I had better will power, though. The only way I've found I can stick on somehting is to keep all the bad stuff (ie snack, caes, cookies, etc) out of the house...

On the up side, this time (unlike most of my diets) I'm doing this for me - not someone else.

For those who had/have trouble with their weight

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