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Things You'd Love To Say Out Loud At Work (pg)

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to
pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don't work here...I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you...You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique
point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude...You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny-a$$ed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office...It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made...Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A workstation is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume...Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder--my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
post #2 of 19
Setting the laser printer to stun? Now there is a good idea!
post #3 of 19
Thread Starter 
My favorite = 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
post #4 of 19
post #5 of 19
I like #38 the best.... But they all are funny
post #6 of 19
I love #25 :rainbow:
post #7 of 19
35. Nice perfume...Must you marinate in it? I know about 5 people I could say this too!
post #8 of 19
What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? - that is my fav


I needed a giggle - thanks
post #9 of 19
I LOVE them! Oh my god! My favorites are (it was very hard to choose):

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
post #10 of 19
Hahah, sometimes I actually have said various of these ones...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

11. I like you...You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.

20. I'm not being rude...You're just insignificant.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
post #11 of 19
It is hard to soar with eagles when you work with turkey's!
post #12 of 19
can I borrow all of these???
post #13 of 19
23. And your crybaby whiny-a$$ed opinion would be...?


LOL This one is my favorite!
post #14 of 19
post #15 of 19
If I worked, I could hear me saying these things under my breath all the time...when dh comes home and complains, I say them alot myself..
post #16 of 19
This is funny , Can anyone add any to these?
post #17 of 19
Quote:
Originally posted by gunner19
23. And your crybaby whiny-a$$ed opinion would be...?


I have a sign posted in my locker that says this.
post #18 of 19
I was laughing so hard tears came to my eyes.
post #19 of 19
I would love to say "Awwwww...muffin!" to some of the higher-ups when they complain. But I don't think that would go over well...
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