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post #31 of 45
I met my husband when I subbed in an orchestra he was already a member of. We were playing a sort of pops concert with a dixieland jazz group. Me and my roommate (who was also subbing and played cello) were like, "did you SEE that drummer? Wow, is he ever cute." My roommate was much prettier than me, and so when he approached us, I figured it was for her. He introduced himself to ME, instead, and said he noticed how much I liked the music (I couldn't sit still, LOL). Then he said sometime I would have to meet his cat, and I knew he was a keeper!
post #32 of 45
One of the best places to meet women your own age (other than at a university) is at church.

I'm glad I don't have to find another good woman. I'm terrible at it. Oh, I do fine talking to them, but it would never progress. I had lots of dates in high school and college, but almost never a serious girlfriend. I had lots of friends who were girls. I knew more about them than most of the other guys in the class. In fact, the guys would ask me for information.

Clearly, I'm not sexy. Or dangerous.

And I learned very early on that the younger a woman is, the more likely she is to go for the "bad boys" in the group. Mothering instinct, I suspect.
post #33 of 45
jezmondo69, just because it violates your own sense of self respect to exchange physical affection on a first (or 5th) date does not mean that it violates another person's self respect. Morals and personal goals and expectations differ markedly between people. Having different morals and expectations from a prospective partner is a good reason not to take that person as a partner, but don't judge that person as morally weak (as not standing up to their own morals).

Some people I dated were horrified that I don't get deeply emotionally involved until after I've developed a physical connection. Other people didn't mind, and one (my spouse) deliberately used it to get me emotionally attached to him.

In online dating, you should be able to be pretty upfront, in your profile, about the fact that you're a take-it-slow type who develops physical connection after emotional connection. Despite the stereotypes, there are actually a lot of guys out there who refuse to put out, and you all should give fair warning of that in dating profiles. I forget where it was, but some dating site had a "looking for ..." category that included answers like "friendship that may develop into romance" and "hook-up" and a bunch in between. When I was doing online dating, I had a set of personal rules (First date is in public, involves separate transportation, and does not go anywhere. Second date has public element, but is up to negotiation, ect) and I clearly communicated both my personal rules and my goals to prospective dates.

Also, you say you didn't like girl #2 because of what she and you did on the first date, but you went out on subsequent dates: be more sure of yourself, and don't schedule a second date with someone who you know you're not a good fit with. You could have had pleasant first dates with other people, instead of continuing to go with someone who you didn't share your values. It will feel less like everyone out there is not for you if you spend less time with people you've already figured out are not for you!
post #34 of 45
you want to have a night out in a different town.


one of the social networking sites thats how i met my better half

haha come up to newcastle theres some lovely lasses up here
post #35 of 45
How about the pet food aisle?
post #36 of 45
Just a quick question… what’s up the the “69†in your name if your all about love and not sex LOL.
post #37 of 45
Chat rooms, facebook....chatting someone up at the grocery store

I have actually had great success meeting guys online (cautiously of course).
That some of the relationships didn't work out had nothing to do with where we first met.
I met my current (hopefully last!) boyfriend in a chat room 15 years ago.

And of course I dated a guy I met at work, he used a question that any polite girl cannot say no to.
He didn't ask me out right away, he asked my permission to ask me out sometime.

You can't really politely refuse that
post #38 of 45
see...its such a hard thing to answer...what are your hobbies besides cars?
do you like bowling? maybe join a bowling league, or look for new fun things to try, if your outgoing it seems to me like maybe you are just meeting the wrong ones. if you go to car shows maybe you can meet one there?

i went thru the same thing as you, for years and years i just couldnt find the right one, i always had alot of guys like me, but usually didnt like them back. im also very outgoing and never had a problem walking up to a cute guy to strike up a convo- im a huge clubber, i love music, i love going to clubs and i love dancing, so of corse since thats where i always was, well thats where id meet most of my guys. everyone kept telling me i would never meet anyone nice in that scene. it kinda depressed me cause i always had the hopes of finding someone that enjoyed the music and dancing like me, but i started to believe everyone. i tried some online dating, i was almost ready to go on one of those damn singles cruises that they have, and the finally it happened, i met my guy at a dance party and it turns out hes the one...here we are 4 yrs later.

i would just say keep your options open, try different and new things, and dont be afraid to hit up some places by yourself, its less intimidating if the guy looks like hes kinda chillin by himself

im sorry i realy dont have any great suggestions, cause i just kinda wandered aimlessly til i found mine
post #39 of 45
Thread Starter 
cats4sky i go to tons of car shows, but its not really a girls thing over here, if there are any they are being dragged round by thier fellas, so thats a no go really, although that would be the perfect thing to meet a girl into minis like me.

i think your right though about trying new things, i dont think its a case of hoping to spy a good girl at the shops or whatever i think i may have to look into a night course or something like that, my friend and i had both spoke about doing a cooking course at out local tech. would be usefull and there may even be some girls there too?

Arlyn i like that idae of asking if its ok to ask you out someitme, thats pretty slick, thats definately going in the mental note book. i'll tell my mate that one too and pass it off as my own idea
post #40 of 45
Thread Starter 
"silvionc Just a quick question… what’s up the the “69†in your name if your all about love and not sex LOL. "

1, its just a number, i use that as my user name on most forums and on one there was another jezmondo (honestly) so i just put that on the end to make mine different. i apreciate it does have a rude meaning but its the first number i thought of? (which possibly says something in itself )

2, i never said i was all about love, if i was after a one night stand or just to get in bed with a girl, i can do that any night of the week, but after doing that for the last few years i decided i would try to better myself and not do it anymore. i try to be good and the girls dont want to be good, if they want sex who am i to refuse them. if they initiate it i havnt led them on.

its just ironic that as soon as i decide to turn over a new leaf i get met with such temptations. sleeping around is all very well, but its nice to have cuddle up to someone you actually care about in the afterglow, rather than make your excuses and leave or boot them out.

that all sounds pretty harsh, but im just telling it how i see it
post #41 of 45
I don’t think you can rush such things. You’re a young guy, have some fun, if girls are coming onto you so early then they are probably looking for some fun too. Just be careful of the crazies Lol.

I truly believe love comes when you least expect it. If you rush, you’re probably going to end up disappointed because you’re going to always hope she’s “the oneâ€. Just be patient…. It will come.

There is some good advice here. I am a firm believer that Internet dating sites are awesome for this type of thing. Not online chats, but actual dating sites (nothing wrong with chat, But if you want that girl NOW then dating sites rock for that). You can be completely honest about who you are, what you expect, and anyone who would be interested reading your profile you would probably have something in common with.

As I said I believe it will come when you least expect it. Every single long-term boyfriend I had came as a surprise, they all came when I loved being single, I tried not to become involved but you KNOW when they are the one. I met my current man online, World of Warcraft (ya I’m a nerd) knew him for years before we met to just hang and be friendly… well one thing led to another and I moved provinces for him and have been here for almost 2 years. He’s another one I just wanted to be single and he popped into my life…. Thankfully.
post #42 of 45
Originally Posted by mrblanche View Post
And I learned very early on that the younger a woman is, the more likely she is to go for the "bad boys" in the group. Mothering instinct, I suspect.
Either that or we learn that the "bad boys" are usual the ones who tend to hurt us, so eventually we give up on bad boys and start looking for good men.
post #43 of 45
Originally Posted by Tari View Post
Either that or we learn that the "bad boys" are usual the ones who tend to hurt us, so eventually we give up on bad boys and start looking for good men.
Who, by that time, are usually taken by the girls who figured it out early!
post #44 of 45
Jez, a cooking course or something similar at the tech sounds like a promising idea. Having taught on night courses for many years, the classes don't tend to be very big and you don't have a great deal of contact with other groups around the college - but give it a try.

I think one of the biggest hurdles for you in the way of meeting people is that you work for yourself in a business where you're unlikely to come across many people. A lot of people meet their partners at or through work.

Volunteering sounds like a great idea. You'd be doing the animals and the shelters a great service and would meet plenty of people as well. You're probably not having much luck with people that you meet through friends because your friends are still looking for what you have moved on from. Whereas, if you meet somebody through a shelter they may be looking for companionship in an animal because they are finding it difficult finding the right fit in a person. That right fit might be you!

Good luck - it will happen. You just have to put yourself in the right places and not try too hard. You will only meet people by actually meeting peopl - sounds obvious doesn't it!
post #45 of 45
Originally Posted by mrblanche View Post
Who, by that time, are usually taken by the girls who figured it out early!
Very, very true. (Fortunately, I figured it out at 22.)
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