i nearly spat my coffee all over my monitor at that!Originally Posted by Rosiemac
And if i need a cuddle i have plenty male friends who would give me one
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Would You Rather Be Single Or In a Relationship?
- Thread starter kittkatt
- Start Date
It depends...
I've been single, in the wrong relationship, and in the right relationship. If the choice is single or in the wrong relationship, though, single wins hands down.
All in all, though, I much prefer being in the RIGHT relationship...married to my wonderful husband.
I've been single, in the wrong relationship, and in the right relationship. If the choice is single or in the wrong relationship, though, single wins hands down.
All in all, though, I much prefer being in the RIGHT relationship...married to my wonderful husband.
Yes but that's all i want from themOriginally Posted by tab
i nearly spat my coffee all over my monitor at that!
I thought about it a bit and clicked Single. I have never been married and like some others here have had disastrous relationships. My BF also has never been married. I think this is the longest either of us has stayed put with someone else.
My BF and I have been together for 5 years in March. Like any relationship, it has its ups and downs. But I like my freedom and independence. There is an added element to this in that Doug is legally blind, so he cannot drive, etc. This is a source of ambivalence in my mind; I think that, coupled with the fact that he is not very romantic that sometimes I wouldn't mind going back to my single status.
When we first started dating, we both said to each other that we would NEVER, EVER want to get married -- to ANYONE!! I think that changed for him, but not for me. I am the reluctant one in this equation.
That said, I do love him and care about him. I would be very sad to break up with him, but I think I would handle it better than he would. I have a much better support network than he does. Sometimes I think he is too dependent on me.
Sigh... he does try to be considerate and helpful... and I am being better about accepting that and accepting HOW it is that he makes gestures rather than how I WOULD like to have them.
Sorry to go on and on... it's been top of mind for a while.
My BF and I have been together for 5 years in March. Like any relationship, it has its ups and downs. But I like my freedom and independence. There is an added element to this in that Doug is legally blind, so he cannot drive, etc. This is a source of ambivalence in my mind; I think that, coupled with the fact that he is not very romantic that sometimes I wouldn't mind going back to my single status.
When we first started dating, we both said to each other that we would NEVER, EVER want to get married -- to ANYONE!! I think that changed for him, but not for me. I am the reluctant one in this equation.
That said, I do love him and care about him. I would be very sad to break up with him, but I think I would handle it better than he would. I have a much better support network than he does. Sometimes I think he is too dependent on me.
Sigh... he does try to be considerate and helpful... and I am being better about accepting that and accepting HOW it is that he makes gestures rather than how I WOULD like to have them.
Sorry to go on and on... it's been top of mind for a while.
I'm married for 1.5yrs now, and we've lived together for 5.5yrs now, been in a steady relationship for 8yrs.
Prior to 5yrs ago, I had been away from my parents since I was 13, living in my own place at 17 - 26. (on and off relationships, my first daughters father lived with me from ages 18-19)
Moving in with my now husband was the HARDEST thing I have ever done. It felt like I was giving up my independance, as well as it was extremely difficult to get over the single parent mentality and let someone else help parent my kids. To this day, I still have a hard time when my hubby 'parents' my kids. (and I can't get rid of saying 'my kids' even though one of them is my hubbys).
Do I love where I am, heck yah. We have an awesome, unique relationship
which allows me to have a "single" life and married life.
I was/am quite content on my own. (my hubby spends alot of time away during the week). I look forward to him going away sometimes.... other times I'd rather he be here because I have alot of physical limitations now. (back injury at work in 06, hand/forearm/elbow work injury in end of 06 beginning of 07)
The one thing that made it slightly easier for me to adapt...
when we moved in together, it was into our home that we built. So it wasn't him moving into my place, or me moving into his place (he lived with his parents). It was moving into OUR home.
I am very independant, and still very much used to being a single mom. I think it will continue to be an adjustment, as we still get into arguements about me not letting him help
wow...sorry this has turned into a book.
short version: I'm happy with either, but both require some adjustment.
Prior to 5yrs ago, I had been away from my parents since I was 13, living in my own place at 17 - 26. (on and off relationships, my first daughters father lived with me from ages 18-19)
Moving in with my now husband was the HARDEST thing I have ever done. It felt like I was giving up my independance, as well as it was extremely difficult to get over the single parent mentality and let someone else help parent my kids. To this day, I still have a hard time when my hubby 'parents' my kids. (and I can't get rid of saying 'my kids' even though one of them is my hubbys).
Do I love where I am, heck yah. We have an awesome, unique relationship
I was/am quite content on my own. (my hubby spends alot of time away during the week). I look forward to him going away sometimes.... other times I'd rather he be here because I have alot of physical limitations now. (back injury at work in 06, hand/forearm/elbow work injury in end of 06 beginning of 07)
The one thing that made it slightly easier for me to adapt...
when we moved in together, it was into our home that we built. So it wasn't him moving into my place, or me moving into his place (he lived with his parents). It was moving into OUR home.
I am very independant, and still very much used to being a single mom. I think it will continue to be an adjustment, as we still get into arguements about me not letting him help
wow...sorry this has turned into a book.
short version: I'm happy with either, but both require some adjustment.
I picked "doesn't matter" because it really doesn't.
I've been happy in a relationship and I've been miserable in them too. However, as a "single", I've mostly been happy and certainly never lonely because I actually enjoy solitude, my own company and not having to worry about "compromise".
If the right guy comes along I'm open to a relationship, but I'm certainly not going to pine away wishing for one because I don't need a man in my life in order to be happy and fulfilled.
I've been happy in a relationship and I've been miserable in them too. However, as a "single", I've mostly been happy and certainly never lonely because I actually enjoy solitude, my own company and not having to worry about "compromise".
If the right guy comes along I'm open to a relationship, but I'm certainly not going to pine away wishing for one because I don't need a man in my life in order to be happy and fulfilled.
I've been married far longer than I was ever single, so I can hardly remember what it was like. Luckily, we both give each other a lot of "space".
I love being married. I never really liked being single much. I enjoy knowing that I have my husband, someone who loves me, "waiting" for me when I get off work. Someone to snuggle with and be my best friend and to show my affection to.
I was happy when I was single, but my husband is wonderful and sharing my life with him makes my life much richer. And happier!
But I couldn't be with just anyone; I would rather be single if I couldn't be with him, so I don't know which way to vote.
But I couldn't be with just anyone; I would rather be single if I couldn't be with him, so I don't know which way to vote.
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I enjoy being single.
Maybe I'll be with a guy someday, who knows but for now I love being single.
I like to have my independence. I always have my friends and family to back me up, though.
Same here! I don't know where I would be without my husband!Originally Posted by Bella713
I'd rather be right where I am now, married and in love
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #32
Originally Posted by Rosiemac
And if i need a cuddle i have plenty male friends who would give me one
Originally Posted by tab
i nearly spat my coffee all over my monitor at that!
I'm glad I didn't have any coffee in my mouth when I read that!
Who needs anyone for huggin', when we all have such cuddly, wonderful kitties for that?!
I am a very independent, opinionated person, and I do very well on my own. I enjoy my own company. But I am happy where I am now, and I will be giving up my single-dom forever come October! And I don't mind one bit.
If it comes down to being single or being in a crummy relationship, I'll always pick single. Believe me... there are some crazy broads out there
I got lucky with mine, haha
If it comes down to being single or being in a crummy relationship, I'll always pick single. Believe me... there are some crazy broads out there
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #34
Couldn't have said it any better myself!
If my s/o was hovering all over me all the time, and didn't allow me the space that I need, it would not work out between us. I can't say that I'm madly in love with him, but we have the same values & goals in life and that's what makes it work. Besides, we're both too old for all that fairy-tale romance stuff. I've done the whole "madly in love" thing before, and the only time that ever really works out is when both peeps feel the same way.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #35
The same thing can be said about the male species -- yes??Originally Posted by kaete
If it comes down to being single or being in a crummy relationship, I'll always pick single. Believe me... there are some crazy broads out there
I imagine soOriginally Posted by KittKatt
The same thing can be said about the male species -- yes??
i put in a relationship, because no matter how much we fight he is there for me. that and he bought my kitties to so that ive always got company
I know I am not looking for a fairy tale romance... I also gave up that notion a long time ago... I'm no spring chicken either. Relationships are not easy - a lot, a lot a lot of work and compromise. I just wish my BF would listen to me more about important and, frankly, intimate things.
He also defers to me too much... always pushing decisions off onto me ... this makes me crazy!
I have told him sometimes it would be nice if HE planned a night out or something. So sometimes I think it's just laziness on his part. Why should he when I step in. He told me, "well, you're so good at it!"Sometimes I feel like i'm the freakin' cruise director. That doesn't mean I want to do it all the time and make all of the decisions and do all of the planning!!!!!! Men can be sooooo clueless!
I know if I want to do anything for Valentines Day, I will have to do all of the leg work. Makes me wonder how the frick he did anything BEFORE we started dating!
I remember saying to him one time, half-jokingly, so are you getting me anything for Valentines Day? His response: I just got you something for Christmas!! Aaarrrgggghhhhh!!!! Keep in mind, I take VERY good care of him! Another time when he did ask me what I might like and I said flowers, he said why, they just die! ???? True... but that's not the point! This summer when i bought a bunch of peonies at the farmers market and was so thrilled with them, he said to me, I didn't know you liked cut flowers?
To me, it really is small wonder that surveys have shown the happiest and healthiest people are single women and married men. Duh!
-End of Rant -
He also defers to me too much... always pushing decisions off onto me ... this makes me crazy!
I have told him sometimes it would be nice if HE planned a night out or something. So sometimes I think it's just laziness on his part. Why should he when I step in. He told me, "well, you're so good at it!"Sometimes I feel like i'm the freakin' cruise director. That doesn't mean I want to do it all the time and make all of the decisions and do all of the planning!!!!!! Men can be sooooo clueless!
I know if I want to do anything for Valentines Day, I will have to do all of the leg work. Makes me wonder how the frick he did anything BEFORE we started dating!
I remember saying to him one time, half-jokingly, so are you getting me anything for Valentines Day? His response: I just got you something for Christmas!! Aaarrrgggghhhhh!!!! Keep in mind, I take VERY good care of him! Another time when he did ask me what I might like and I said flowers, he said why, they just die! ???? True... but that's not the point! This summer when i bought a bunch of peonies at the farmers market and was so thrilled with them, he said to me, I didn't know you liked cut flowers?
To me, it really is small wonder that surveys have shown the happiest and healthiest people are single women and married men. Duh!
-End of Rant -
Seven years ago I would have single forever, but then I met the 1 and can't imagine my life without him.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #40
My s/o is like that, too. Drives me nuts!
It's no wonder his ex/wife walked all over him..
I can't say that my s/o is that bad. He usually can make that decision on his own.I remember saying to him one time, half-jokingly, so are you getting me anything for Valentines Day? His response: I just got you something for Christmas!! Aaarrrgggghhhhh!!!! Keep in mind, I take VERY good care of him! Another time when he did ask me what I might like and I said flowers, he said why, they just die! ???? True... but that's not the point! This summer when i bought a bunch of peonies at the farmers market and was so thrilled with them, he said to me, I didn't know you liked cut flowers?
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