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My beloved Buster is gone

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Unfortunately, I had to put Buster to sleep today. He was diagnosed with transitional cell carcinoma of the bladder and lost the battle. He was an amazing cat and the best friend I ever had. He was my first pet and such an important part of my life. I found him on the streets in 2000 and he was with me throughout graduate school. I was hoping he would make it to see me graduate in June but he couldn't. I am so heartbroken right now. I can't stop crying. I love him so much.
post #2 of 29
So sorry you lost him.
I have been dreading this post since you told me he had 2 weeks to live.
I am glad I got to meet him.
If you need to talk just call.
Do you want me to post on the petloss site for you?
post #3 of 29
Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear, I saw the title, and hoped that it wasn't going to be your Buster

It was an honour to meet him last month, he was such a laidback, gorgeous guy. RIP Buster, play happily over the Rainbow Bridge.
post #4 of 29
i'm sorry to hear this - but you made the best decision for him. for you & a for Buster...
post #5 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your kind words!! I am still so sad and despondent. I keep on thinking about him all night and break down in tears.

Sarah and Jackie - I'm glad that you both were able to meet my wonderful Buster. As you could tell, he was so friendly and social and loved people. Now I'm glad you guys had the chance to experience his love.

I miss him so much
post #6 of 29
Your post made me cry.
You were right about ho long he had left.
It will be a year Jan 11 since Yoshi was pts.
I know how you feel and wish the chemo had worked.
You did more then alot of people would have.
You gave him a good life and saved him from a bad life.
post #7 of 29
Thread Starter 
I'm so sorry that Yoshi's anniversary of his death is coming up so soon. It must be very painful for you too.

I guess the vet was right about Buster's prognosis. I wanted to prove her wrong but I guess she is a good doctor and really knows her stuff.

Buster was acting fine today - he ate, drank, etc. However, he could no longer urinate because the tumor was clogging his urethra, just as the oncologist predicted would happen.

January 5th will be the worst day for me for the rest of my life. I also heard that George W Bush's black cat, India, died today as well. I never knew he had a black cat!
post #8 of 29
I never new either but it was all over the news.
They were right with Yoshi also.
He had 6 months to 2 years but lasted 8 months.
If you ever need to talk let me know.
post #9 of 29
This is so sad, i'm so sorry

Watch over your mum at the bridge Buster

post #10 of 29
i have just read your posts about your sweet boy. i'm so very sorry that your time together wasn't longer. the bond you have will never be broken.

RIP precious buster.
post #11 of 29
So sorry for your loss

Rest In Peace Buster
post #12 of 29
I am so sorry, RIP Buster
post #13 of 29
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Handsome Boy! rest in Peace Buster.
post #14 of 29
I posted in the bladder group about Buster and they all say sorry.
I am posting in this group for you also.
Would you like to join it.
It is a pet loss group.
post #15 of 29
Oh, no! Dear sweet Buster! I'm so sorry to hear this news, I can't stop crying!

He was such a sweet, loving boy. It really was an honor to get to meet him, he was such a special cat! I'm glad you got to spend the holidays with him, too. You know you did everything you could for him and always did right by him! He knew he was very loved all the way to the end.

RIP to one of the friendliest, sweetest kitties I've met, Buster!
post #16 of 29
I'm so sorry for your loss. May Buster RIP.
post #17 of 29
I am so sorry. He was so blessed by you taking him in and giving him a great life. Bigs hugs to you.
post #18 of 29
I talked to Sherry last night for a long time time.
She is still very upset and was crying on the phone.
She was glad we all got to meet him at Rosemarys house.
post #19 of 29
Sherrie, I am so sorry for you about Buster's loss. He was such a regal boy. I am so glad that we all got to meet that special boy at my house. I just told Butzie and she is upset, too, or at least she knows that I am.

I am sorry Buster didn't make it to your graduation. I am sure that Buster is at peace with G_d.

post #20 of 29
I so sorry for your loss. Rest in Peace, Buster
post #21 of 29
I am so sorry to hear this, I hadn't seen the post that said he only had 2 weeks left. I really wish that the chemo had worked and that he could have had longer with you. RIP little one, and do send a message down to show that you are safe.
post #22 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone for your kind comments and letters. I'm sorry that I have not been on the board much but I have been very heartbroken. I am back at work now and trying to normalize my life but it's been hard. I miss Buster and it hasn't got much easier since last week.

I have a lot of regrets about how I handled last week. Although Buster could not urinate so much, the oncologist predicted that he had about one more week to live. She wanted to prescribe heavy painkillers and some drug to expand the urethra. However, the tumor would ultimately cause a total blockage. I didn't want to wait and see that happen. At the time, I felt very confident that I made the right decision. I work very long hours and worried that I would come home and find Buster in pain while trying to urinate. However, I still wondered if I should have given him some more time. I know rational people see that I have done the right thing but I am an emotional wreck. Maybe I'll come to realize I made the right decision in the months and years to come. However, I am still riddled with guilt.
post #23 of 29
As a veteran of UT problems myself, I can honestly say that you did the courageous thing for Buster in giving him the comfort of a peaceful passing. Those problems are truly some of the worst that I have ever encountered - and I've had 2 children without any pain meds whatsoever; I've experienced neck injury & dental problems galore, but... bladder problems are the worst
Buster was a true friend to you and I am sure that right now, Heaven seems very far away, but please know that your unending love still shines all the way over the Bridge and Buster happily plays there, healthy again, and looking forward to that happy day when you two are reunited again, this time forever
post #24 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your encouraging words. It's interesting because something unusual happened to me during the week of Christmas. I developed a UTI for the first time in my life (I am 35 years old). I never realized how uncomfortable and yucky it made me felt. I couldn't believe that Buster may have experienced that while suffering from bladder cancer (prior to removal of the tumor and towards the end of his life). I think there was some sign out there to show me what it felt like for him and it wasn't pleasant. I am glad that the vet gave him antibiotics to help out at least.
post #25 of 29
I`m sorry you are hurting so bad but you will come to realise you did the best for Buster. I think it`s natural to have doubts about if you did the right thing at the right time etc. That`s something you have to work out with yourself but everyone here can see you did what was kindest You just need to realise that yourself and then I believe you will start to heal.
post #26 of 29
I am so very sorry you lost Buster

I think if you came home to find that Buster was in excruiating pain and you had no idea for how long, you would have realized that you did make the right decision. Please dont be hard on yourself

Rest In Peace Buster
post #27 of 29
You did the right thing. Would it have REALLY been worth giving him an extra few days, or if you're lucky, weeks, waiting for his urethra to get completely blocked? I think you know that the answer is no - you let him pass with dignity, and without putting him through the extra pain it would have inevitably caused.

You DID do the right thing, and of course you feel bad, it's part of the grieving process, but don't let it weigh you down If you need to talk, just let me know.
post #28 of 29
I am sorry things are still so hard for you, sadly guilt is part of the grieving process, but I think you did the right thing - yes, you could have bought him some more time with heavy painkillers, but that wouldnt have been for his benefit, it would have been for yours, he might not have been able to enjoy his last few days if he had been heavily doped, and there was still a risk he would suffer, and that would have been worse than letting him go with dignity as you did. I know what you mean about a sign though, I have had that happen to me.
post #29 of 29
I'm so sorry.

In the end you gave Buster a gentle passing out of love, just as while he lived you gave him a life full of love.

Unfortunately, I know this pain all to well. Grab all the best memories of you and Buster, the happy, the silly, the times you laughed - grab those memories and stuff them in the hole in your heart. It will be a rough patch at first but over time and as you add new memories it will hold and smooth over.
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