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post #61 of 76
I'm sorry to hear about Merlin. You will both be in my thoughts today.
post #62 of 76
I have just learned about Merlin and I want to tell you how very sorry that I am he has left you and your family! I truly know how much you love him ~ do not ever doubt that everyone here knows that fact!

Merlin would have indeed been miserable as an inside only cat - he loved to play in your yard. I remember so many posts about his yard antics and they bring a *smile* to my face.

Deb - in time God will heal your aching heart. Time is your best friend right now. Grieve and cry when you need to ~ but always remember that one day your baby's memory WILL come to your mind and you will find a smile has crept across your face!

His love will always be with you and a part of your life! A gentle breeze may remind you of his soft fur and the touch of another may remind you of the kitty kisses he gave you.

You have my deepest sympathy ~ Merlin is now entrusted to God and is playing at the Bridge with all the other angels ~ you will see him again and hold him in your arms there, amid the flowers and sweet audience of the other angels.
God bless Deb!

Your friend - Deb Myers
post #63 of 76
OH god Debby I am so sorry for your loss. I know what Merlin meant to you. Take all the time you need. noone here is judging you. We all know you and respect you for everything you do and have every done. You're are truely one of Gods angels. I am here for you in every way possible.
post #64 of 76

I'm so sorry. It's so difficult to find the right words but know that my heart goes out to you.
post #65 of 76
Debby, I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

post #66 of 76
Oh Deb, I am so, so very sorry for your loss of Merlin. I know you posted about him a lot, and it is so obvious how very, very much you loved him. I had a cat I inherited, who was BOUND and determined to get outside EVERY chance he could. I tried at first (unsuccessfully) to stop him, and finally, would let him out for about an hour or so every afternoon. He was always happy with that timeframe, and would then be ready and content to come back in. There was NO way, I could keep him inside, save, putting him on a collar and chain in the house, since the moment the door opened up, he was out that door like a shot! He got hit by a car too, and I do, really know your pain. I cried and cried for weeks and months , but as time went on, the pain seemed to lessen a bit. I think it is so good you put him near your Dad. I buried my kitty in my flower garden, as he LOVED to wander in there, and look around. I always think of my kitty now, as being with his original owner, from whom I inherited him from. She had passed away, and I just KNOW they are together again, and she is spoiling him as much as she ever did (and he is loving it!) So, maybe it would help you a bit, if you could envision your Dad keeping your Merlin, company and them playing together. It made my pain a little easier to bear, thinking, that my kitty was still being taken care of, and not alone now. Someday, you WILL see your kitty again. My heart is with you. I wish you comfort in your pain.
post #67 of 76
Dear Debby, please accept my sincere condolences at this tragic time. I know how much Merlin and you meant to each another; and I grieve for you both.

Here, then, are two poems which you might read; and perhaps they may help, in some small way, your coming to grips with Merlin's death as well as your journey from deepest sorrow to happy and warm memories.

Stop all the clocks

By Wystan Hugh Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crépe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song.
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.


Such is surely our despair when a loved one passes away! Yet, as death has indeed come, if we know our lost friend is now at peace we might be comforted in the knowledge which his being will forever impart to all who listen:


By Robert Lewis Balfour Stevenson

Under the wide and starry sky
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me;
"Here he lies where he longed to be,
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill."


The marker on Stevenson's own grave reads thus:

You, who pass this grave, put aside hatred; love kindness; be all services remembered in your heart, and all offences pardoned; and as you go down again among the living, let this be your question: can I make some one happier this day before I lie down to sleep?

You, Debby, made Merlin very happy every day; and he returned your love in kind. When facing the awful finality of death, more of a loved one than of ourselves, perhaps it is best to gently bid good-bye to that heart and soul we had come to love; yet their memory and posterity shall be with us always. In time we can look upon a place once mutually familiar -- and remember, smiling.

post #68 of 76
Oooh, I don't know what to say... i am remembering your kind message when I had to have my baby put to sleep...I remember you telling me that you understood my pain and that you would feel the same way the day you would have to miss Merlin. I am so sad for you that that day came so soon and that it couldn't have been much longer and more peaceful. My heart goes out to you Debby, I will keep you in my thoughts. Hopefully you will soon be able to enjoy TCS again. I am sitting here all choked up because i know how I felt in december... and I'm so sorry that you have to be feeling like that now. :-( What helped me a lot was emailing Carrie -Thanks again heaps Carrie! You're the best- who was in the same situation...it really does help when you can share grief and talk about it. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. I wish there was something I could do for you somehow.

Take care and lots of love,

And oh... Merlin was lucky to have an owner who took his wish to be outside into account. My cat was an outdoor cat too and I just know that he would have been miserable being locked up inside... I am sure the same goes for Merlin... so please do not blame yourself for anything... the "worst" thing you have done is respect Merlin and grant him an enjoyable life. I am sure he has had more quality in his short life than he would have had if he had been kept indoors. I am sure that Dougie is waiting for Merlin at the rainbowbridge so they can all play and be friends.
post #69 of 76

The saddest and toughest thing to go through life is losing a friend. Take heart in knowing that Merlin died after having a life full of love.
post #70 of 76
I am so sorry for you loss. It is so hard to loose someone to whom you are so close.
You are sad now, but someday, you will be able to smile when you think of the strong love you shared wiht Merlin, knowing that you made him happy and he made you happy. You will alway have the loving memory of him and your time together.
You made Merlin´s life a good life!
post #71 of 76
Debby, I'm so sorry for your loss (((((hugs))))) I have been in tears reading this thread.

Time will heal and you'll be able to think about him without feeling quite so sad. My cats love being outside and if I tried to keep them in, they would be so unhappy, and I couldn't do that to them. I'd much rather they enjoyed their lives, for however short or long they may be.

Take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
post #72 of 76

I just heard about this yesterday.....

Wanted to give you my sympathies. I am really sorry for your loss.

I wish there was more I could say but this is something that only time can slowly heal.

post #73 of 76
Thread Starter 
Oh God.....I thought maybe I was strong enough now to come back here and read some threads, but this is the first one I looked at, and after reading through all these pages I realize I am not ready to come back....I have sat here and bawled through every page and it is clear to me I am not ready.....thank you ALL so very very very much for your kind words, thoughts and prayers. I have cried a river since that day and everywhere i look I see him....I am even sleeping with a stuffed cat (the one Gyslaine sent me when she first joined) to try to ease the pain. Hissy (Mary Anne) has been so wonderful calling me to see how I am doing....I have also talked to Sandi (Lucky from the ferals forum's mommy) a couple times, and it has helped alot.

I love you guys so much and I have missed this place....I thought maybe I would come back tonight and see how you all were and would be okay with it, but after reading this I realize I am not ready....I feel as bad now as I did the night I buried him....not because of anything any of you did or said, but because it is still too soon and reading this just made me so sad.
I love you all and your words did help me, and the poems... it's just that it still hurts too bad....I think this will be the only thread I read, I just guess I'm not ready yet. I also have e-mails I can't read yet....and some of them I can't even bring up because one is too large and blocking all the rest...so if I don't reply to you it isn't because I don't appreciate what you said or want to reply, it is probably because I have not seen it. I think I will wait awhile longer before I come back again....this is just too hard still.

Merlin was so special to me. I am writing a tribute to him and when I am back again I will post it in the under the bridge forum.

Thanks again for all you have said and for your thoughts. I miss you guys.
post #74 of 76

You are so brave for coming back .. I hope you come and chat soon.. We love you and miss you loads hun!

Love Sam{{{{HUGS}}}}
post #75 of 76
Debby, it was great of you to check in. Glad to hear you are ok, albeit still in a lot of pain for poor Merlin.

I hope you find the stregnth to return to us eventually, and I am confident you will. Time does heal all wounds, and you will get to a place eventually when it doesn't hurt quite so much.

We all love you and miss you

Stay strong.
post #76 of 76
Oh Sweetie-

Let your heart heal, give it time. Perhaps God will give you another special kitten soon to ease the ache, perhaps He won't. But what he has given you is a circle of friends who are filled with compassion for you, because these friends have walked where you now walk and know how you feel.

No one thinks you are foolish for carrying this big boulder of an ache inside your heart, because many of us have carried this burden as well. When the time comes, when the heart heals, the rock becomes a pebble and dwells there to remind you softly of the one special cat, that gave you love and comfort during a time in your life when not much else was there for you.

The sting does fade my friend, and when the pain eases that doesn't diminish Merlin in your heart, but gives you the capability to move beyond the pain, for you have finally accepted the truth, that sometimes with great love comes great loss.

Take care, don't worry about the board, it has remained strong through so much for it has to. Because situations such as you are in comes up all the time in cat ownership, and this community of friends remain constant to help others find their way.

I'll be in touch-

And with all that being said, I am closing this thread now. It is not because I think what has been said here is not important, but everyone who cares for Debby has told her so. Keeping this open, keeps her wounds open, for when she is strong enough, she will come here and have to read through all the responses that you will elicit as she has pulled our heartstrings, and she will be weeping again once it is finished. So let's close this in the hopes that her hole in her heart will close, and when she is strong enough, she can come and open it again and talk to all her friends.
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