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Oh God No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

post #1 of 76
Thread Starter 
This is the day I have feared and hoped and prayed would never come!!

My Merlin is dead....he's dead!!!!!

Please mods don't move this to somewhere else, please give me this place to grieve...even if it isn't where we are supposed to grieve. Please...I need this....this is the place I come..the lounge, the place I go to be with friends.

Tonight...my brother showed up at the door....it was already a bad night, Amber is sick and it has not been a good day at all and then he showed up and says, "There is a big striped cat that has been hit just down the road and I wondered if it was one of yours."

My first thought was, "Oh my God...please don't let it be Merlin!!!"

But I have two other striped cats...so I really didn't want to think it would be...somehow I just did not think Merlin could actually be gone from me, and he always stays right around the house even when he is outside.

But something inside me told me this was different....I think I just KNEW!!!!!!

I said, "Please go get it...please bring it to me!!"

He left and when he came back....there was Merlin....yes, it was him....his right eye was popped out and his tongue was hanging out.....oh my GOD what an awful thing to see!!!!!

It is all my fault!!!!! If I had not allowed him to go outside he would still be alive!!!!

But he wanted to go out so badly...he would not have been happy kept inside all the time...he LOVED being outside!!!!!!!!!!!

We have such little traffic on this rural road that very rarely do animals get hit and he loved being outside SO much!!! It would have broken his heart and his spirit to have to stay inside. He would have went nuts!!!

OH MY GOD!!! WHY did it have to be him??????? WHY?????????????

My brother helped me bury him...under the red maple tree we planted in memory of my father when he died three years ago.

I am taking a leave of absence from here for awhile...I simply cannot come here and be reminded of Merlin for awhile.

Please noone tell me how this is what you get for letting your cats outside. I feel badly enough....I think I would kill anyone who said that.

Merlin was my baby....I will miss him so.....I still can't believe this has actually happened...i keep expecting to see him jumping up on the window ledge wanting in.

GOD I will miss him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will be gone for awhile....but I will be back. I just can't face this place right now...too many memories of my baby.
post #2 of 76
Oh Debby I can't begin to say all the things that are running through my mind right! I am so sorry this happened to your sweet baby. Know my prayers are with you!
post #3 of 76
Thread Starter 
I just want to add...you all are such good friends, and through all the crying and the pain tonight (God why does it have to hurt so bad?????????) one of my first instincts was to come here and talk to you all....I may check in after a few days but I am taking a leave of absence as a mod and won't be around much for awhile....I haven't cried so much since my father died.
post #4 of 76
Thread Starter 
I would have rather cut off one of my hands than lose Merlin. That image of him the way my brother brought him to me will just haunt me...although I would rather know what happened to him than always wonder.....I just hope he died quickly...and didn't suffer.

I held him and rocked him while my brother dug the hole and I kissed his head before I put him in the hole.
post #5 of 76
Debby, I've only been here a short time -- but I just want to tell you how sorry I am to hear about Merlin. I'll say a prayer for you, and for him.

post #6 of 76
Please take all the time you need. We all understand the pain you are feeling. You poor thing I wish I lived next door so you could get all the hugs you need right now. Any time you need someone to talk to feel free to email me!
post #7 of 76
Oh Sweetie!!! Oh no--------I am soooo sorry my friend------
post #8 of 76
Oh, Deb, I am so very, very sorry to hear that!!

Sending you lots of hugs!!
post #9 of 76
debby, i am so sorry to hear this. ((((HUGS))))
post #10 of 76
OMG I am so sorry Don't blame yourself, you were just doing what you thought was best for you kitty my thoughts are with you.
post #11 of 76
I can't even imagine the pain Debby.......what a horrible event!!!!

You know my goes out to you!!

post #12 of 76
Debby im sooo sorry

(((( Debby))))
post #13 of 76
Debby, I am so sorry this has happened. I know how special Merlin was to you, and how much you loved him. If you need to talk, just let me know. I'm here for you.
post #14 of 76
Debby, I am so sorry. Take as long as you need away. I'll be thinking of you. **Hugs**
post #15 of 76
I havent been a member for very long, but I just wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry about Merlin. Just wanted to let you know you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
post #16 of 76

I was so sad to read your post -- I am so very very sorry about Merlin. It is hard to even know what to say at times like these.
post #17 of 76
Oh Debby, I am so sorry. I know I can't say anything to help you right now. Just know I'm thinking of you, sweetheart. May angels comfort you.
post #18 of 76
Debby,My heart goes out to you! You have all my prayers and hugs. God Bless you and Merlin.
post #19 of 76
Oh My Dear God! Debby..I just don't know what to say or write right now. My heart is so sad right now. I'm bauling as I write this cuz I know just how bad you feel right now. Nothing I can say or do can make this better.

Debby, if you need anything...ANYTHING just ask me. If you just need a shoulder to cry on or someone to just listen to you vent, I'm here.

I'm so sorry to hear this...
post #20 of 76
That is not fair! Why Merlin? You poor thing, I know how you feel right now. One of my cats was hit by a car a year ago. This is so sad! I am very sorry about your loss.
post #21 of 76
Oh, Debby, I'm sooooo sorry! I'll keep you AND Merlin in my prayers. (((((HUGS))))) I know nothing anyone can say can bring him back or make it hurt less, but please know everyone here cares about you!
post #22 of 76
Oh Debby, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I am in shock. This is too sad for words, I am at a loss.
I am so sorry

post #23 of 76
You just have to remember that you were making your poor kitty happy, so instead of dying old and sad Merlin died young and happy. Because of that Merlin was happy to the end and probably beyond it's days.
post #24 of 76
(((DEBBY))) Oh Debby, I am really sorry. My heart sank when I read this. You are SO in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless You, Debby!

post #25 of 76
Oh Debby, I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry to hear this. My heart is breaking for you.

post #26 of 76

My thoughts are with you in this time of grief. I think I speak for everyone when I say that we are all there for you. May God bless you and keep you.
post #27 of 76
Oh God Debby I am SO sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say except I'm sorry and my heart is with you.
post #28 of 76
Debby, I know how much Merlin meant to you and I am so sorry he was killed tonight. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this sad time.
post #29 of 76
Oh Debby!!!! I'm crying too, I know how much Merlin means to you. He was your baby, your sweet cat. He was happy with you, know that above everything. You made him as happy and loved as he made you. I'm SO sorry!!!!! ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
post #30 of 76
Oh my god... I'm so sorry Debby. I can't even imagine what you're going through. I feel so terrible this happened. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. *hugs*
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