It's Over

Thanks you guys for the support and hugs It helps.

I had a nice Christmas lunch at my sister's house with my family so that was good.

I'm back at the house now packing things up to go ahead and start moving some things in to my apartment tonight. There's a chance of bad weather on Saturday, so now we're going to have to rush the move even more so i'm trying to get things packed up as quickly as possible at the moment.

I'll try to update on everything as often as i'm able to.

Thankyou for all of your love and kindness right now, it's really helped to have such wonderful friends on TCS to talk to and get me through this.

I am so sorry that things haven't panned out the way that you'd hoped. That said, it seems like everything about your move out is falling into place so easily, your decision must have Divine approval.
Have you ever checked out Narcissistic Personality Disorder? My DH seems to have it and it has been a rough 8 years They are the type of guy who is so wonderful till marriage, and then, at social events, they are talkative to everyone but the wife. It's classic for the wife to ask "Is everything alright?" "Are you mad at me?". Another typical sign is for his temper to flare up if she stands up for herself or critizes him (or verbally appreciates someone else's good qualities, which he interprets as critcism on him). Counseling typically doesn't work on them because they are better than everyone else
Another trait is that when the wife breaks away, the Narcissist wants her back.
I admire your courage to not settle for a bad marriage.
Sending prayers and vibes that you find peace, healing & comfort in your new apartment!! How exciting to meet new neighbors and friends

Nikki,

I am just now able to catch up on some post. I am finally meeting my dad's side of the family in more than 20 years of no communication. Some I like and some not so much, but that is how family is.

I remember seeing bits and pieces when I was in the PL and I am so sorry it has come down to this. You deserve so much better and people who treat you badly are toxic. Those are the people you need to get away from and you need to do what is the best for you and makes you happy. No one else.

I'm glad that you took the first step and are looking for your own place. That is the hardest thing to do. I don't have any siblings and my dad is the only family I have left. If and when something happens I will have no one else and that terrifies me.

I didn't mind so much being alone when I was younger, but now I am wanting to be with someone. It is like living alone when you have no siblings and it really isn't so bad. You always have plenty to do!! It just gets lonely if you can't find anyone to talk to.

I am glad that you have family to help you out.

Oh, Nikki! I haven't been on TCS in well over a year, and now I've come to learn this!!!

Well, I'm sorry in any case, but I'm still extremely proud of you for having the strength to think of YOU. You have lots of great friends to help you through these tough times...I only wish I had this kind of moxy sometimes in my own marriage, which has been teetering on a thin thread for quite some time now.

Hang in there, hon.

Nikky - Your apartment is awesome! I am so happy you are taking it!
It might surprise you how good it is to be on your own... All your energy will be used towards YOUR healing... The place will be your way, and will work for you, and you only... You will truly, for the first time, have YOUR home - this is very exciting!
I have been living alone for quite a few years, an I really really love it!
I hope all goes well on your move!

Nikki,

I haven't been on computer since Monday so I'm just catching up a bit now. If there is anything you need PM me (or just PM me anyways). I hope the time apart will help and something can be worked out.

Stay strong-I'm here for you.

That's a great little place!!! And not really little! I read this thread the other day and just couldn't think how to say what I was feeling for you; and I still don't. Please just know that I am praying for you.

I'm sorry for all you're going through. Living alone can suck at times, when you get lonely (I know this all too well) but it has its perks, too. You can do whatever you want and no one will say anything, and you get the bed to yourself and the remote, too. LOL
I don't live alone right now, but in this small apartment, we don't have many options for getting away from each other. I come home, he's always here. I rarely have alone time. I know it might be hard to imagine WANTING alone time right now, but it ends up alright. Once you get into your new place, you'll have your mind on decorating, etc...
I've been divorced already and live with two other boyfriends before so I know how hard it can be, moving on. But it can be a life lesson, and an adventure, should you choose to look at it that way. Again, I'm sorry.

Hey everyone I only have a really short amount of time to update so I've just wanted to let you know that I am moved into the apartment. (I started moving in Christmas night.) I'm at the house right now getting one last haul and then i'll officially be done.

The cats are already moved in and doing great. I'm trying to deal with everything but hopefully i'll all be ok. Thanks again for all the kindness and support I'll be sans internet for a little while, but i'll try to update as often as I can from my sister's house when I visit!

Hang in there! We are all here for you

Nikky - I think I can speak for a lot of us here... We are all proud of you! Everything is going to be fine -you will see.... you deserve to be happy, and today is when you start reclaiming your happiness! Good Luck Nikky!!!

Nikki, I'm sorry you are going through a rough time right now, but it sounds like you are making the right steps to get yourself happy again. Well done for making a really tough decision. We're all here for you and sending you happy vibes

We're all right behind you, hon. Take care!

(((HUGS)))
You are doing the best thing! You do not need to be around someone who is verbally abusive. it will turn into physical abuse.

Take care.

You`ll be just fine Are you going to get internet at your new place? I was just thinking if you were having a down moment you would be able to come on here so everyone can cheer you up if you did

Here`s to a fresh start

Well as everyone has said, good for you for having the strength to do what is in your best interest. I also wanted to say, I know you have said it is over, but it remember they always want what they don't have. My one piece of advise is that people don't change unless they want to. I learned this from my first marriage. Hence my first marriage. Also, don't rush into anything, give yourself time to heal and figure out what you want & need!

Finally, the most important thing in any relationship is respect. Respect for yourself & the other person. This is true in any relationship, friends, co-workers, and most important marriage. It took me quite awhile to figure this out, I know love is important, but love grows and changes, respect is either there or it isn't. I don't know your whole situtation, but it doesn't sound like he respects you, and you deserve respect.

Good luck with whatever you chose to do. Having your kitties around will help, you have to take care of them, and somedays it was the only reason I even got out of bed was to take care of Buddy. Lean on your family, and friends, that's what they are there for, I didn't have any family close in the literal sence, but knew they were only a phone call away.

Enjoy your new apartment, it looks like a pretty good size place. Check in when you can, there are alot of people that will want updates, myself included.

Nikki I'm sorry you're going through this but know you're not alone

I.ve only just seen this as I have not been online much lately either for personal reasons. I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time, but you have so much courage to make the right decision that you will get through it all. Many hugs.

I'm glad the shift is going well with you and the kitties.

You're in my thoughts.