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Please help. A new cat, and some fustration

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Hello,.

We just adopted a new cat from a friend who could no longer take care of it. The new cat is used to living with other cats, where as; our own Luna is not.

We did separate her for a few days. Luna got her scent and seemed intrigued. While Manchitas ( the new one) was in the room, i would go in and make sure she had food and water. During that time, Manchitas would come up to me and rub herself all over me. She's INCREDIBLY friend cat towards humans that is. Luna got a hold of her scent and wanted to see her ( she was waiting at her door). So I opened it up, and they saw each other. Luna hissed at her and then ran away. Towards the end of the week, Manchitas got braver and came to us more, sitting on our lap, etc. She finally wanted out of the room. She was scratching at the door and everything. So we opened the door. Manchitas came out and walked around. She saw Luna, and now, Manchitas was hissing at her.

Last night, we left the door open and noticed Manchitas snuggling in bed with us. I thought it was Luna until I petted her and realized it wasn't Luna. I turned on the light and sure enough it was Manchitas. then LUna comes in,a nd wanted to jump on the bed. Manchitas hissed at her, and Luna ran away. Luna jumped on the bed again, and Manchitas was having none of it. Luna laid down on the floor. I felt bad because Luna wants to be on the bed. Manchitas is asserting her domiance, and I don't want her to alienate Luna.

They haven't fought as of yet. They were face to face, and nothing happened but just some hissing. I don't want Manchitas to scare Luna away from us.

What should we do? I am pretty scared. I don't want to give up Manchitas. I would rather both cats be friends and have happy homes.

Any help is greatly appreciated.
post #2 of 14
When I got Oreo Sasha would hiss at her now they are good friends.
It will take time but should work out.
I got a new kitten last week and no one growled or hissed.
They already get along well.
post #3 of 14
If you haven't found this thread, I suggest you read thru it. It's the tried and true tips from a lot of members that have gone through what you are currently going through. I can't begin to repeat all of the good advice in that thread.

http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=67321
post #4 of 14
It sounds like everything is going normally and well I might add. These things just take time. Before long they'll both be on the bed with you. Relax! Your kitties sound like they're doing great!
post #5 of 14
Some hissing is pretty normal. So long as they're not fighting and hurting each other, things are progressing reasonably well.
post #6 of 14
It is important to make sure Luna doesn't feel punished. Manchitas is simply standing her ground and asserting her boundaries. Luna seems to be intimidated by this. Keep an eye on them, give Luna encouragement and attention even in front of Manchitas. Also try playing with Luna in front of Manchita, maybe something they both have interest in playing with together eventually.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
post #7 of 14
I know most people suggest keeping them apart for 1-2 weeks and slowly introducing things with eachother's scent, etc. but honestly, I've never kept new cats away from the veteran cats for more than 2 days (unless like in this last case he was sick, so I had to keep them apart). I think I just got lucky with how friendly all my cats are to eachother, so I'd say it sounds normal what you're going through. They just may need to work out the dominance order and claim their own spaces. If they are getting stressed out I would just seperate each for awhile and take time playing with both. Or I would give my girls treats all in the same place so they associated something good with being near the newest member, things like that.
post #8 of 14
Thread Starter 
THank you all. I feel better knowing we are on the right track thus far.
My fiance is concerned about Luna having personality changed. That she may not want to come near us and be with us anymore since Manchitas is around.

Luna is a bit on edge. When she walks into Manchitas room, she's very cautious and I scared her today when I accidently kicked the pillow she jumped 20 feet in the air. But i think we will just keep working at it.
post #9 of 14
I agree, I think they will be fine. I never used the "slow" introduction method, but my cats are pretty laid back and every cat I brought in came straight from the vet. Yes, there's going to be hissing and posturing while they try to sort things out. You may even see some swipes taken. Believe me, if they get in a REAL fight you will know, and it probably would have happened by now when they first met face to face. Right now they're just getting to know each other.

I agree, if you can get them to play together that helps a lot. Do you have a laser pointer? I actually get my cats and dogs to play together using one of those. Or use a feather wand or even a piece of rope and get them both chasing it. It can create a bonding experience.

I have a feeling in a few weeks they will be the best of friends and you won't remember what you were worried about.
post #10 of 14
Thread Starter 
We are having difficult time getting them to play together because Luna is so afraid of Manchitas. She won't come near us if Manchitas is around. Just a few minutes ago my fiance was holding Luna and Manchitas was on the couch. He put Luna down and Manchitas hissed and chased Luna away. He got mad and wanted to give Manchitas away. I would HATE to do that.

His biggest concern, again, is Luna's personality changing in which she will feel she can't be near us. I would like Luna to be less afraid, but she won't be in the same room as Manchitas. I am just a little upset because I REALLY don't want to give Manchitas up.

How do i getthese two together without one making the other terrified?
post #11 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Angie1116 View Post
We are having difficult time getting them to play together because Luna is so afraid of Manchitas. She won't come near us if Manchitas is around. Just a few minutes ago my fiance was holding Luna and Manchitas was on the couch. He put Luna down and Manchitas hissed and chased Luna away.
How do i getthese two together without one making the other terrified?
Definite problem with holding Luna and then putting her down around Manchitas, you are placing Luna into Manchitas territory. Even though it was originally Luna's home, obviously Manchitas has been showing dominant behavior which needs to be discouraged and corrected. I would keep Manchitas under close eye and give Luna encouragement and reassurance if and when they are in open territory. One introduction method is to place one in a carrier in the same room with the other. Maybe try this with Manchitas in a carrier, and see how Luna approaches, if at all, she may be to freaked at this point to do so immediately. Keep them separated for now, if anything give Luna the dominant position, and take it slowly.......
post #12 of 14
I'll be honest, we brought Harley into our home 7 months ago--it has taken that long for Jack the original cat to truly what I consider "forgive" us for it and return to his normal self. Before Harley he was a lovey, lap cat. For 7 months he refused that--in the last 2-3 weeks its returning and I believe things will only be going up from here.

Leslie
post #13 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack31 View Post
I'll be honest, we brought Harley into our home 7 months ago--it has taken that long for Jack the original cat to truly what I consider "forgive" us for it and return to his normal self. Before Harley he was a lovey, lap cat. For 7 months he refused that--in the last 2-3 weeks its returning and I believe things will only be going up from here.

Leslie
A perfect example of what takes time and extra consideration on your behalf's to encourage acceptance between all within the home. Whoever expresses excessive negative behavior first during proper, slow introductions should be corrected, acknowledged, challenged.......This applies to cats, dogs, domesticated pets, and definitely men....(as well as women)!
post #14 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thank you..

Brian and I REALLY don't want to give Manchitas up. We both love her very much. But we can't have her acting this way. Brian gets fustrated very easily, and we are going to try a few things before anything else. It made me very upset last night having to consider giving Manchitas up. We also took into consideration our lifestyle: work, travel, etc.

We did the introductions all wrong. We didn't take it slow at all. We rushed into things stupidly and now we have to address this problem. We are not going to give up, we are going to work on it. If it doesn't work, and it's putting too much stress on the cats and on us, we may have to consider giving Manchitas to home that doesn't have other cats.

Manchitas was in home with two other cats but we have a feeling that she was bullied and so now she's learned that behavior and directing it towards Luna. It's the first time in a long time that Manchitas has the upper hand, if you will. But we must discourage her from this.
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