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For Blackie...

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
A bit of backstory: My first year or so after a difficult breakup a few years ago meant a big, lonely house and a total lack of focus. Eventually, a group of stray kitties started appearing around the house, checking to see what was up. I eventually made some storage-bin shelters and a good friend donated her "Dogloo". The two kitties that I saw most were "Blackie" and "Greygirl" (A DSH bi-color with the sweetest face). Blackie was sort of the "king" of the little group, everyone looking to take his lead. I remember a cute time where Blackie was just sitting in the grass and Greygirl was desperately trying to get him to play, tugging at him, doing little circles around him. It was very sweet. I always wondered what their relationship was, their history.

Blackie showed up one day with a wound on his head, likely a bite mark, in that bare area between their eye and ear. I watched it for awhile, and I had thought it was healing. Life for the kitties went on as usual. Then one day, it appeared again, and seemed to get worse over time. It was time to get Blackie to a vet.

As many of you can attest, getting a stray cat into a live-trap is quite a chore! And on a Saturday, of course. . Blackie was pretty unhappy, clawing and biting and making the most horrific noises. I found one local vet that was open in the afternoon. I'd developed a real fondness for Blackie, I had a notion of perhaps getting him all taken care of and taking him in as my own. I can't explain it; it's not as though he were fun, nor even all that cute. I just felt close to him.

So, we get to the vet, I go in with him to the examination room; I explain the situation regarding Blackie's unknown history. The doctor says they'll just take all of the usual tests first, and then go from there. I guess I was pretty naive at that time regarding pets. I planned on picking him up in a few hours.

I get the call within the hour that Blackie was FIV-positive. I had just recently read something about it in a cat-advocacy magazine, but I'll be honest, I didn't know all that much about it. The nurse was very sweet and patient with all of my questions - and my bawling - and explained that it would probably be best to put him down. I literally had to have her repeat everything, since I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I made her tell me again that it was the best thing for Blackie. She said yes. I said to go ahead. I don't know if I made the right decision. I do hope she made the right one for me.

I didn't know this cat long. Hell, I didn't know him at all. But something about not having him around anymore make me a much sadder person, even now. The rest of his little gang, devoid of their leader, stopped coming around. I've since acquired new "garage friends". Perhaps I will tell their story later.

This is crazy, here I am at work, and I can't even type this without my eyes welling up. I just wanted to tell Blackie's story, to share him. If only as a singular living entity, he was important. But to me, has was truly something special.

post #2 of 8
Sorry he had to be pts.
I do know people taht have fiv pos cats and they are doing ok right now.
post #3 of 8
Hi there. I'm so sorry you lost Blackie. I think I can understand what you mean, that you hardly knew him yet you felt a bond with him. It must be a terribly painful loss for you. Even if he never lived in your house, his constant presence will definitely be missed. Hugs for you

If I'm not wrong, FIV can only be passed if a FIV positive cat bites another. The wound on his head may have been how he got the FIV.

The poor boy is at peace now, and I'm sure he knew you cared for him enough to want to seek medical help for him.

Rest in Peace, Blackie boy
post #4 of 8
Thread Starter 
For sure, that's the thing I live with every day; the notion that I didn't take the proper approach, that I should have kept him isolated in the basement for a bit, with a warm bed and good food, and then made the decisions when I wasn't on-the-spot with a nurse telling me I should put him down. I had Rossi and Bayliss at the time, so I knew acclimating him full-scale into my home probably wasn't an option, and Blackie seemed pretty content with his life outside, so should that have stayed his forever-home? Was he destined to be a wild kitty, not meant to be domesticated? For that matter, he could have been someone's pet a year earlier, waiting to be taken into a warm, loving home.

As I was waiting for the test results, that was my conundrum; do I try to take the wild out of the kitty, after taking the kitty out of the wild? What would make him happy?

I probably shouldn't have written this; I feel like I'm living it all over again. I hope that fate served to guide me well in this instance, because my heart doesn't necessarily tell me so.
post #5 of 8
Everyone who loves animals try to do what's right by them, what would make them happy. Truth is, we'll never know. He could have been someone's pet, or he could have torn their house down and then get thrown out into the street afterward. If he's the alpha you say he was, then its likely he would not adapt to life indoors.

Regardless, don't beat yourself up over what's happened. In your heart of hearts you know that all the decisions you made were out of love, for his well-being.
post #6 of 8
Originally Posted by Keycube View Post
I didn't know this cat long. Hell, I didn't know him at all.
You knew him long enough to have feelings for him and to show you cared

RIP Blackie

post #7 of 8
Rest in Peace Blackie
post #8 of 8
R.I.P. Blackie, you run in that beautiful grass, be a happy boy, say hi to my Tom!!

Just think, Sweetie, you saved MANY outdoor kitties with your courage. He could have infected others if he were to get out, not because he was a bad kitty, but because he was a SURVIVOR!

My thought and prayers are with you and ^Blackie^ <<< Those are his new angel wings that he got when he crossed over the Rainbow Bridge. Read that poem, it is the best!!

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