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Urgent - meowing - please help!

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
I feel like a horrible cat mommy, but here goes:

I love my kitty to death, but my husband does not. Growing up in Egypt, apparently his cats were all quiet, passive and did not shed. Kitty sheds (although not so much anymore since I've been brushing her a few times every day), is very needy and meows for attention.

It's mainly the meowing that is driving my husband crazy. He wants a cat that does not meow. She's gotten better, but this morning after I got into the shower, she apparently stayed at the bedroom door and woke my husband up (she's kept out of the bedroom for asthma/allergy issues). He said that was the last straw and we're going to take her back to the humane society this weekend.

Now, I've asked him to be patient, but he views cats as something that shouldn't disrupt your life. Please, nothing negative about him, I'd just like some ideas on if it's possible to reduce her meowing.

When I come home, I pick her up and play with her for awhile before going about my business. Usually I play with her when I get up in the morning too. Unfortunately, he's getting home earlier than me today, and even though I told him if he plays with her for a bit, she'll be fine, he refuses and insists that he doesn't want anything to do with the cat. We live in a one bedroom apartment, so he can't really go anywhere to ignore her.

I've written up a little piece to give to the humane society if we bring her back, telling people what a wonderful cat she is and to please love her forever. I'm utterly devestated. I don't know if I'll get another cat after this, because cats aren't perfect, and I'm afraid my husband would insist that we keep returning them until we find one that is.

Please, any advice, and failing that, positive vibes sent for Kitty to find a home with someone who will love her just the way she is. She is an amazing cat and has brought a lot of happiness to me in the last week, and deserves a great home.

post #2 of 22
I'm sorry to say it, but one thing I think you, and your husband, have to seriously think about - if a little meowing and perhaps having to take allergy meds is so upsetting your husband, despite your love for the cat, what will he, and you, do if a child were to come along? Kids (babies especially) are a heck of a lot more bothersome than a cat, even a rowdy cat. And, I'm sure there are things that make you crazy about him, but that you accept for the good of your marriage - maybe he needs a reminder that accommodations go both ways.

With the meowing - my adopted girl meowed a lot when I first adopted her (she was four years old) - she's quieted down quite a bit, now that she realizes she has a forever home, but she still meows for attention, to let me know there's a bird in the yard, whatever. Yes, sometimes I lose a little sleep, but I've gained a lot of love.

Some cats are talkers, though - they're trying to interact with you and show you they love you. Your girl probably really wants to make friends with your husband.....even if he's not quite perfect either

I hope he will reconsider, but, if not, I really hope you find a wonderful home for your cat - with even half the love you were ready to give everyone in your family.
post #3 of 22
I think that you adopted the cat less than a week ago. I understand that your husband may be impatient, but in my limited experience, a cat doesn't feel "home" for about a month on average, so it may just be meowing until it feels comfortable. Also, most cats just meow to communicate....some more than others.

If there is any way to convince your husband to hold on for a bit, please do. Please give this cat a chance if you can. He/she seems like a good pet who is grateful not to be in the shelter.
post #4 of 22
I should also add, I am sorry to be unable to give you any advice except for giving your cat more time and/or attention. Hopefully someone else here can.
post #5 of 22
Thread Starter 
I wish it were easy to convince him of this. I know all of this, but getting him to understand is another ball of wax. I'm going to argue for another few days, since she's improved so much these last few days, I can't imagine it's that much longer until she's completely settled in.

I'm almost 100% sure I won't get another cat if we have to give her back. I can't imagine finding another cat as good as her. This is breaking my heart into a million pieces. I'll just volunteer at the humane society instead.
post #6 of 22
I can't give you any advice, but at our humane society if you return an animal, for whatever reason, they are hesitant to adopt out another animal to you, and most often will not.

Nora is a very vocal animal, like a lot of cats, and uses it as communication. She loves to "talk" to us, and we just talk back. Most cats are vocal and meow at some time. Most aren't perfect and always quiet. I've only known one cat in my life that was like that, but she was extremely timid and shy. Every other cat I've been around in my life has been somewhat vocal, and Gus, Nora, and Milo are all very vocal cats, though Nora is the most.
post #7 of 22
Take the cat back to the HS. The only advice I can give is to remember that the relationship you have with your husband is far and away more important than that of a pet. Now is the time to worry about that. You can get another cat later on, if possible.
post #8 of 22
Originally Posted by rahma View Post
I'll just volunteer at the humane society instead.
Good idea. Also, is there a friend or family member you could give the cat to? Then you'd get to see your kitty. Don't let a kitty get between you and your husband.
post #9 of 22
I don't think there's really a way to make a cat meow less. You can make sure it's fed, has water, a littler box and isn't meowing for those things, but other than that in my experience cats express themselves by meowing. I had one cat that was very vocal. He'd always greet you with a meow when you walked by or approached him or he walked into the room. He was very chatty. The other only meowed when he was hungry. My new cat doesn't meow very much but when he does it sounds like a little squeak. I hope your husband can give the cat time to adjust and see how things go in a few weeks before making any decision to take him back.
post #10 of 22
By the way, our cat MEOWs like crazy. We've gotten use to him doing it but it does get a little annoying at times but he's such a good kitty. My wife is not a cat person, but my three sons and I are. She tolerates the meowing but if she had it her way she'd send the cat back. She's been out voted.
post #11 of 22
Thread Starter 
Update - he talked with a friend who has 4 cats and she convinced him to give her another week. Thank God!

Of course, now I'm grumbling as to why he listened to her and not me, but if things go as I think they will, Kitty will continue to mellow and will meow less.
post #12 of 22
oh, everyone will always listen to a comparative stranger more than family! But, thank goodness he is listening and and is willing to try - I'm sure it's for love of you. Hey, maybe he'll be so convinced how much you appreciate his trying, it'll never occur to him to think of re-homing your little girl.

Or, she'll find a way to wrap daddy around her little paw and by next year he'll be wondering whatever possessed him to think about letting her go.
post #13 of 22
Cats will often be more vocal if they need comforting. Your cat is under stress. She's in a new place, with new people, and she is putting her trust in you. She wants a response from you when she talks to you, and she is afraid that she may have to go back into the cage at the shelter or some other bad experience if you disappear from her life.

It's possible to silence a cat (or a dog) surgically, but I don't think I've heard of any vets doing it in recent years. I would consider in cruel.

We have 3 cats. One will talk to us a little bit. One is virtually silent. And one is a real talker, even a screamer when he thinks he's been abandoned when my wife goes to work. I doubt any amount of training would change any of that very much.
post #14 of 22
Originally Posted by rahma View Post
Of course, now I'm grumbling as to why he listened to her and not me,
\t My husband does that to me all the time and it drives me up the wall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmph! I feel your annoyance!

Congrats on getting to stick it out with kitty! I hope things settle in for both she and your husband.
post #15 of 22
I'm glad to hear the update. It does take time for the new cat to adjust to his new family and vice versa. She sounds like a sweet cat and it would be a shame to have to return her. I hope it works out for you
post #16 of 22
Thread Starter 
Last night, the husband said "she's been good today," and he spent some time snuggling with her on the couch. He's home sick from work today, so cross your fingers and send positive vibes that he bonds with her.

Also, Kitty now has a name! She squeaks when I pick her up, so I've named her Squeaky. Not quite the exotic, sophisticated name I was looking for, but it fits, lol.
post #17 of 22
That's good news. I hope he falls in love with her so you can keep her. That's a cute name. I often call Toby "Squeaky" or "Squeaker" because many times his meows sound more like squeaks.
post #18 of 22
Aww, glad to hear that your kitty is winning him over - maybe he was just starting to feel under the weather and feeling irritable when he was so, ah, worried about the meowing. But, hopefully she's been a good nurse today and the bonding will continue. And Squeaky is a very cute name.
post #19 of 22
Thread Starter 
I'm pleased to report that the cat and the husband did not kill each other yesterday and in fact, got along quite well. She even snuggled with him for awhile during Heroes last night. He hasn't given a definate yes that we'll keep her, but he's not talking about giving her back either
post #20 of 22
Sounds promising - I'm just thinking he'd be a very strong man indeed to be able to stand up against both ladies in his home giving him lots of loving!
post #21 of 22
Originally Posted by rahma View Post
I'm pleased to report that the cat and the husband did not kill each other yesterday and in fact, got along quite well. She even snuggled with him for awhile during Heroes last night. He hasn't given a definate yes that we'll keep her, but he's not talking about giving her back either
Sending prayers and vibes that Squeakers and your hubby bond together very soon & you can have a happy household once again
....sounds like things are progressing nicely
post #22 of 22
Some cats are just chattier, as others have said.

Maybe you and your husband could make a game out of telling each other to hush each time one of you speaks. Might give some perspective on the cat.

I agree with those who said her recent transition to your house may have a lot to do with it and she's just trying to communicate to her new "people." Sometimes with talkative cats, if you just have a back-and-forth conversation with them, they settle down. Plus it's fun to talk to them.
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