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Asking for presents....?

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
Would you rather have your SO (or anyone, really) ask you to tell them what you want for Christmas, or think of gifts on their own?
To me, giving gifts is about something from the heart, not about the actual gift.
I have no problem thinking of things or keeping mental notes when my boyfriend shows interest in something, and I have all of his shopping done already. But he has no inkling of what to get me, and every time I hint to anything, he thinks it's stupid and doesn't want to get it for me, or forgets that I mentioned it. I showed him a coat I wanted that was on sale right after Thanksgiving, and a few days later he asked what I wanted and I said that coat I showed you, he said I didn't think you were serious. I totally was, (that coat was SO me) but I'm not the type to say "buy me that!"
On the other hand, I guess if you ask for things, you get what you want, guaranteed....

What do you prefer?
post #2 of 25
Truthfully, if DH or anyone asks me what I want for Christmas, I can't think of a darned thing at the time! I'm lucky though. DH DOES pay attention and usually ends up surprising me with something I completely forgot I wanted.
post #3 of 25
I have to tell my brother and Sister-in-law what I want otherwise they'll hound me to tell them. Since they don't like surprises, they don't think anyone else does eith. My Mom and sister are pretty good about picking out things for me on their own.
post #4 of 25
What I want and what I get are two totally different things. I'd LOVE it if he'd catch my hints and pick things out himself... but he's not confident in his choices and he wants me to have what I really want. My present is in his trunk and I helped him pick it out at Target the other day. I don't mind and he knows he at least has to get me flowers (his choice) on Valentines Day. Plus, he does so many little things for me it makes up for the fact that I almost always pick out my own presents.
post #5 of 25
It honestly doesn't matter to me. My SO is good at taking hints. Sometimes he asks directly, and that's fine with me. Sometimes he just guesses, and he's usually not far off (he really knows my tastes and interests) and I grow to like whatever he buys me
post #6 of 25
I ask for a list from DH. I rather get him what he wants then stuff he could care less about.
post #7 of 25
I would love it if hubby was romantic and surprised me, but after several years of marriage, I know better than to hope for this

He is getting better about picking up on rather obvious hints though.
post #8 of 25
there's not much that I really want or need (besdies a lifetime supply of cat litter ) so I'd rather tell someone what those things are than get something useless. As I've gotten older I've become really practical about my gifts for example, I'm getting a coffeemaker from my Aunt cause I want one, but I'm not very likely to buy it fro myself
post #9 of 25
My husband knows what I like, and he comes up with amazing gifts for me - I am very fortunate. But if I want something specific, I tell him about it.

He wants time this year. Anybody know how I can get him that?
post #10 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by menagerie mama View Post
Would you rather have your SO (or anyone, really) ask you to tell them what you want for Christmas, or think of gifts on their own?
To me, giving gifts is about something from the heart, not about the actual gift.
I have no problem thinking of things or keeping mental notes when my boyfriend shows interest in something, and I have all of his shopping done already. But he has no inkling of what to get me, and every time I hint to anything, he thinks it's stupid and doesn't want to get it for me, or forgets that I mentioned it. I showed him a coat I wanted that was on sale right after Thanksgiving, and a few days later he asked what I wanted and I said that coat I showed you, he said I didn't think you were serious. I totally was, (that coat was SO me) but I'm not the type to say "buy me that!"
On the other hand, I guess if you ask for things, you get what you want, guaranteed....

What do you prefer?
I'm probably going to get flamed here, but men frequently don't get subtlety... I really like that coat... doesn't do the trick. Sometimes my BF will say, would you like that for your holiday/birthday gift? Women are much more intuitive about these things! I am getting him a coffee mug that says real men like cats, the Martin Scorcese DVD docu about the Rolling Stones and an beautiful urn for his kitty's ashes. He, on the other hand, has NO clue what to get me. I do have to tell him. Among other things, I have decided he can get me an external portable hard drive for my computer. But I'M THE ONE who will end up doing the homework on it. He'd say, well which one do you want? How many gigs? Frankly, I do like surprises. But he is not good at that. My family and girlfriends are better about it.

ETA: OK I see by many of the posts here that I am not alone in having a clueless SO. Guess that bears out my original statment
post #11 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
I'm probably going to get flamed here, but men frequently don't get subtlety... I really like that coat... doesn't do the trick. Sometimes my BF will say, would you like that for your holiday/birthday gift? Women are much more intuitive about these things! I am getting him a coffee mug that says real men like cats, the Martin Scorcese DVD docu about the Rolling Stones and an beautiful urn for his kitty's ashes. He, on the other hand, has NO clue what to get me. I do have to tell him. Among other things, I have decided he can get me an external portable hard drive for my computer. But I'M THE ONE who will end up doing the homework on it. He'd say, well which one do you want? How many gigs? Frankly, I do like surprises. But he is not good at that. My family and girlfriends are better about it.

ETA: OK I see by many of the posts here that I am not alone in having a clueless SO. Guess that bears out my original statment
I won't flame you, I totally agree, and have been told that before. It doesn't stop me from wishing it would happen, though. Like a few others' SO's, I wish they all "got it."
post #12 of 25
Let's see, for my birthday the first year after we were married, DH bought me pierced earrings. I didn't have pierced ears at the time.

For Chanukah, I buy him a sweater on sale on a local clothing store which wraps it for free in Chanukah paper. While I am there, I pick out something for me, too. Also, the store is in a small outdoor mall with very few stores and a Safeway so I can pick up food, too.

BTW, I told DH that I would only pierce my ears when he bought me diamond studs. He inherited diamonds from his mother, so I have pierced ears now.
post #13 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
Among other things, I have decided he can get me an external portable hard drive for my computer. But I'M THE ONE who will end up doing the homework on it. He'd say, well which one do you want? How many gigs? Frankly, I do like surprises. But he is not good at that. My family and girlfriends are better about it.

ETA: OK I see by many of the posts here that I am not alone in having a clueless SO. Guess that bears out my original statment
I got an optic mouse for valentines day one year... but I wanted it. I can at least know that if I ask for tech stuff he'll pick better than I would.

Quote:
Originally Posted by menagerie mama View Post
I won't flame you, I totally agree, and have been told that before. It doesn't stop me from wishing it would happen, though. Like a few others' SO's, I wish they all "got it."
Me too. He did surprise me on our 1st anniversary. I thought we had decided not to exchange gifts and boy did I feel sheepish when he gave me a certificate for a pedicure (he knows I love a good pedi) at a really nice local salon.
post #14 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by twstychik View Post
I got an optic mouse for valentines day one year... but I wanted it. I can at least know that if I ask for tech stuff he'll pick better than I would.


Me too. He did surprise me on our 1st anniversary. I thought we had decided not to exchange gifts and boy did I feel sheepish when he gave me a certificate for a pedicure (he knows I love a good pedi) at a really nice local salon.
Oh my roles were reversed on that one. Because again he didn't know what to get me, he randomly wandered around stores, and bought me a $5 necklace from Walmart, a package of ankle socks that I don't wear and a brush.

I bought him a Wii.


Needless to say, we've used the Wii more times than I've used the brush. LOL
Also, to make up for it, afterward he went and got me Mario Kart and an extra controller. LOL I guess he redeemed himself a bit.
post #15 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by menagerie mama View Post
Oh my roles were reversed on that one. Because again he didn't know what to get me, he randomly wandered around stores, and bought me a $5 necklace from Walmart, a package of ankle socks that I don't wear and a brush.

I bought him a Wii.

This is exactly why I don't mind telling him exactly what I want or even picking it out! Of course, now I have the lovely jewelry armoire (that I picked) sitting in his trunk and he's saying I'm not getting it till x-mas. We'll just see about that!
post #16 of 25
Thread Starter 
I guess that's something I'll have to get used to doing!
post #17 of 25
I pretty much have to tell him what I want and where to get it.


He's completely clueless.
post #18 of 25
Matt will usually ask me, he does remember I want stuff but if I want something bad enough I will just buy it. This year I have been waiting for the new model of my camera to be released and he had it on order for the day it came out. About a week later I seen it on sale and was going to buy it so he ended up giving it to me early.
He does get very thoughtful stocking stuffer type gifts though
post #19 of 25
My husband and I don't make lists for each other. But I like lists from everyone else, and growing up we always made lists, even the parents. It was helpful.
post #20 of 25
Jess and I are both pretty good about figuring out what the other will like. I haven't gotten a "bad" present from her yet, and as far as I can tell, she hasn't gotten one from me, either. Although I am starting to second-guess a sweater I got her this year. Good thing I saved the receipt
post #21 of 25
Sometimes I get a brainwave and shop without asking, but if I'm not getting ideas from listening and observing and checking various wish lists online, I'll ask, "What do you want for Christmas?" Sometimes he'll have suggestions, sometimes not. Same with him. We've both come up with some pretty nifty ideas, and we've both struggled some years to figure out anything.

When Rob buys without consulting, it will almost certainly be either something for my computer or something culinary that I will love, but won't in a million years buy for myself. He's actually pretty good, but not in the least romantic about gifts.

We both like surprises, but would rather forego the surprise than stumble around in the dark and end up with something that won't be used much.
post #22 of 25
I usually never know what I really want for Christmas, I usually like to be surprised. I listen for hints when it comes to what Rob wants, although he's pretty easy to shop for ... just get him a gift card for tools and he is set to go. I just bought him tickets to a comedy show today as an act of thoughtfulness because I heard him mention they were coming to town. He told me he heard them talking about it all day and was gonna ask me if I wanted to go, but I had already beaten him to it by buying 2nd row seats this morning when they went on pre-sale! He never has to worry about not getting something he wants from me

He knows I love to read, so a lot of the time he'll get me a gift card to buy books, and last year he knew I wanted a Slanket because I love to snuggle up in warm blankets when it's cold, and he bought me that as well.
post #23 of 25
As time goes on, my BF is getting much better at selecting gifts for me. That doesn't mean I trust him to do it completely on his own - I make real sure to mention when I like anything, or when something is my favourite. For example, he has learned that I love a clean vanilla scent (not a musky one) and always manages to come up with at least one body wash/candle/bubble bath. He knows I like puzzle and party games for the Wii, so buys me these. I do things like leave browser windows open on products I like etc
Jewelery he cannot do. His idea of nice is my idea of wouldnt be caught dead wearing
post #24 of 25
This is so hysterical!!! Yeah, I can't trust him to get me jewelry, so I buy it and say, thank you honey, here's the bill!! Not romantic, but effective!

And if I ask him, what do you want for Christmas, I get (shrug), I dunno. But he is always happy with what I choose. The second holiday we spent together I just couldn't stand the linens and bedding on his bed anymore.... so he got the whole works - mattress pad, pillows, linens, blanket and comforter. He was thrilled ( and so was I - thank goodness for Overstock.com )
post #25 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara & Rob View Post
I usually never know what I really want for Christmas, I usually like to be surprised. I listen for hints when it comes to what Rob wants, although he's pretty easy to shop for ... just get him a gift card for tools and he is set to go. I just bought him tickets to a comedy show today as an act of thoughtfulness because I heard him mention they were coming to town. He told me he heard them talking about it all day and was gonna ask me if I wanted to go, but I had already beaten him to it by buying 2nd row seats this morning when they went on pre-sale! He never has to worry about not getting something he wants from me

He knows I love to read, so a lot of the time he'll get me a gift card to buy books, and last year he knew I wanted a Slanket because I love to snuggle up in warm blankets when it's cold, and he bought me that as well.
See, it's the paying attention to details that I find thoughtful. After him hounding me all day, I broke down and told him I wanted this perfume today, and he said "they don't make it anymore" I said I know, but you can get it on Ebay. He said yeah but that's probably a scam or fake. I give up.
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