Advice needed!

I've been a cat lover all my life, but was unable to own a cat because we moved too much. I've finally settled down and adopted an adorable 3-year-old male cat three weeks ago. He was very mellow, sweet, and moderately playful for the first week. But now he has turned destructive. Spraying doesn't seem to dissuade him from the unwanted activities. I suspect that he is lonely and bored with no one to play with since I work long hours. I try to play with him as much as I can when I am home, but it doesn't seem to tire him out at all. Would it be kindest to give him up now to a family with other pets or people who are home during the day? I enjoy the snuggling that he wants, but am at my wits end with the destructive behavior. Do I just need to give us more time?

Thank you for any responses.

A second cat is often just the cure for a bored, lonesome first cat. Is taking on another one something you could do?

Young cats need to play A LOT. Also, if he was abandoned in some way before, being alone for extremely long hours could make him very anxious. A cat pal could probably help.

A second cat isn't really an option given space and circumstance... that was a thought I had, but was forced to realize that it wouldn't work.

If space is a concern, cats do just fine living in one bedroom. Two cats would not be bothered with a small space. My daughter started out in an efficiency apartment that was no larger than a hotel room. Her cats did well. When we rescue cats we keep them confined to one room and it becomes a comfort to them.

Don't let space be a factor if you really want to add a cat. Think of how they live in shelters and a bedroom would be a palace to them.

Good luck to you.

I agree with maybe getting another cat for a companion. Cats, especially young ones, do so much better when they have a playmate - and they're really much more work (1 vs 2). When my first cat (now 16 yrs old) Tigger was first in my life, she was much like your kitty......very curious, very destructive, just a real stinker........and I believe it was because me and my (now ex) husband were away long hours during the day. When I adopted Taco (Tigger was a year old at the time, he was about 8 wks old), it made a world of difference! Okay, at first she was not impressed with him.....particularly when this little orange ball of fur would come roaring up to her and jumping on her (hey, let's play!)....but she got used to him and they became very close and very good companions. Of my 5 cats now, Taco is the only male (he's now 15.5 yrs old) and there are 3 other females besides Tigger. Tigger is "the queen" and doesn't have much use for the females, she's very jealous and territorial.......but she loves Taco, she'll sit and groom him, sleep with him.

And you don't need to have a lot of space for cats to be happy. Cats really are companion animals, they thrive when they have a companion - whether human or fellow feline.

What kind of things is he doing that are considered destructive? Maybe we can give you some tips and suggestions?

Hi, your cat has only been with you for three weeks right? I think that he is just settling in. He is finding his boundaries, rules, cans and cant do's. I got my kitty when he was about 5 months old from a rescue place. Both me and my bf work full time so of course Alan my cat is at home alone. I am sure that he does get bored but we have plenty of toys for him to play with. He was 'destructive' in the past but not now. We said no when he was doing stuff that we preferred he didn't and praised him and joined in when he played. I have also found, and this has been extremely helpful that talking to your cat and keeping there attention with a chat works! It may sound odd but it does work, my kitty loves it when I chat to him and it frees me up to be doing the housework or something too!!! I also have the toys that you put treats in and when they roll them around a treat might fall out. Food is a good way to keep a cat entertained by making them work for it and find it in order to eat it. I would love a second cat but it is not an option right now, not due to space but might be moving at some point in early new year. What behaviour is he doing that is destructive? I really think that you should give this a bit more time before either getting rid of him or getting a new cat. This is still very early days. Good luck

Please do not spray your cat. This is very cruel and can cause an infection in his ears, if any water gets into them.

Cats do not learn by "punishment", you have to redirect their attention in teaching them unwanted behaviors.

If you react negatively to the behavior, you will get a negative reaction from your cat.

What exactly is your cat doing that is destructive so that we can offer tips on dealing with those specific behaviors?

Hello,
Since he's a relatively new addition to your household, it will just take some time for him to settle down and become acclimated to his new environment. Cats love routine and structure; this has helped all of mine get used to their new home over the years. Giving him lots to do will also help--toys, climing tree, scratching post, etc.

I love the Feliway pheremone products as well; these have helped my cats settle down whenever we've moved. My precious Ophelia, a very timid kitty, was positively mellowed out after our move to our new home when I used Feliway. You can buy it at PetCo and PetSmart, and it comes in a "plug in" type dispenser and a spray. It is WELL worth it!

Good luck with your new addition--just be patient!