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BF's aunt passed away last night..

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
This is a huge shock to us all.

She has had kidney failure for maybe 18 years, she went to dialysis 3x a week. Suddenly this week, she was sick. Saturday night she was acting weird so i asked her if she wanted me to call an ambulance. She said no, but i should not have listened to her. A bit later my bfs cousin (daughter of the aunt) asked me to talk to the 911 dispatcher, because she could not. The ambulance came shortly after. She was having a heart attack

While she was in the hospital, they were talking of amputating her leg. Apparently, she had other problems. Poor circulation in her legs, and blood clot near her heart, which is REALLY bad. Then they were saying her liver was failing. AND that if they put her under, to put a catheter in her heart, that they would not be able to bring her out of anasthesia. They werent even going to put her under to amputate her leg. They were going to give her a local anasthetic for that.

Her and her 18 year old daughter live with us. Her daughter had just gotten back from the hospital when the phone call came in that her mom had passed. The daughter has mental problems, her mental age is probably 12, so while she is 18, she is handling this like a 12 year old would. Of course, she is staying here with us, as she could never live on her own. My bf is so upset, he didnt come up to bed until 6 am. And, for the first time in the 6 years i have been with him, he was crying...

Can i ask for major TCS vibes for my boy friend and his family? They really need them in this sad time for their family. I have been trying to help them as much as possible, but, i am not really family, and there is only so much i can do
post #2 of 14
Oh my! Honey I am so sorry to hear such news, that is awful!

Sending your BF's family and yourself some and huge hugs!

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you!
post #3 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thank you very very much.
post #4 of 14
I`m so sorry to hear that. Many prayers and vibes for you all, especially her daughter
post #5 of 14
So sorry my friend......
RIP to her... and my prayers for her soul....
post #6 of 14
So sorry that she died.
post #7 of 14
Im very sorry to hear this. My condolences to you all.

Im sending so many prayers and vibes your way during this difficult time
post #8 of 14
I am so sorry for the family
post #9 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thank you all so very much.
They really need support. I am trying to be strong for them..
post #10 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by KiTTYL0VE4 View Post
Can i ask for major TCS vibes for my boy friend and his family? They really need them in this sad time for their family. I have been trying to help them as much as possible, but, i am not really family, and there is only so much i can do
Sending mega prayers and vibes out to the family & you
AS for you my dear, you are the answer to that poor woman's most fervent prayer - you are giving her daughter a safe, loving home. How do I know this - look at all she was surviving- it took the maternal instinct to be there for her daughter to conquer those obstacles she faced for so long
To illustrate how much you are doing, I'd like to offer you the story of Monica:

Monica is in her mid-30s but her mental age is probaby about 10 or 11, plus she has deformities in her left side extremities.
She lives (if she still lives ) permanently homeless with an older bf who is a registered sex offender in 3 states (OR, CA, NV). Her stories of being beaten up, etc. by those who prey upon the homeless are evidenced in her various scars.

Her social security benefits were discontinued at age 13 when her mother was disqualified as her payee. The great state of Texas did not bother to ensure that this retarded, crippled girl was given another payee (nor a conservator).
When I met her, she was severely underweight, in desperate need of dental care, incredibly filthy & ungroomed. Her bf had been jailed for attempted child molest, and through my husband's lousy luck, or someone's prayers, my DH was appointed to represent the guy. Monica, on her own, was cited for vagrancy & released outside the court. It was the end of the day, but the wonderful court clerks, unable to reach adult protective services or caring law enforcement, alerted my DH, who loaded Monica & her possessions up & drove her to a campsite, paid the campground hosts.

Now, who helped Monica then????
NOT the campground hosts, who feared her, mistakenly thinking she was "crazy", despite their NRA & Protected by Smith&Wesson stickers
NOT the Salvation Army, NOT the Mormon Church (who can contribute millions to keep Prop 8 into play, but can't afford any sort of help to 1 soul in need), NOT the ministerial society. So, Monica spent the night sitting in the dirt next to a bundled up tent that she had neither the mental or physical ablilites to set up. NO where to go, NO ONE to help......until someone (DH) told a cat lover (moi).

I brought Monica home, covered the couch (she is unable to properly wipe), fed her, helped her clean up,took her to the thrift store & got her some clothes. Over the next 2 weeks, I worked nights at the office so I could spend my days desperately seeking help for her, doing my best to turn over every bureaucratical stone, calling and calling and calling agencies again and again, driving her to appointments, getting her emergency food stamps, telephonically reuniting her with her mom in TX who hadnt talked to her in over 5yrs; ALAS, in a lack of communication, my DH secured the dismissal of the bf's charges on the condition that he left the county, the county bought bus tickets for both Monica & him to a different area of the state. She almost didn't go - but she was afraid of him coming after her & she wouldn't go with me to the authorities, she left with dH to the court, taking a backpack stuffed with as many supplies as she could manage, and disappeared out of my life. I wonder and worry about her like I would a lost cat I was only a week away from getting her qualified as a permanent county resident; she would have gotten care from the state regional center, the welfare dept, I'd found a dentist to take her indigent medical card
So, you see, dear one, unless you meet some poor unfortunate like Monica, you probably won't realize how much your ARE doing for your BF's niece .......... You are a REAL ANGEL,here on Earth and Heaven sent
post #11 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catsknowme View Post
Sending mega prayers and vibes out to the family & you
AS for you my dear, you are the answer to that poor woman's most fervent prayer - you are giving her daughter a safe, loving home. How do I know this - look at all she was surviving- it took the maternal instinct to be there for her daughter to conquer those obstacles she faced for so long
To illustrate how much you are doing, I'd like to offer you the story of Monica:

Monica is in her mid-30s but her mental age is probaby about 10 or 11, plus she has deformities in her left side extremities.
She lives (if she still lives ) permanently homeless with an older bf who is a registered sex offender in 3 states (OR, CA, NV). Her stories of being beaten up, etc. by those who prey upon the homeless are evidenced in her various scars.

Her social security benefits were discontinued at age 13 when her mother was disqualified as her payee. The great state of Texas did not bother to ensure that this retarded, crippled girl was given another payee (nor a conservator).
When I met her, she was severely underweight, in desperate need of dental care, incredibly filthy & ungroomed. Her bf had been jailed for attempted child molest, and through my husband's lousy luck, or someone's prayers, my DH was appointed to represent the guy. Monica, on her own, was cited for vagrancy & released outside the court. It was the end of the day, but the wonderful court clerks, unable to reach adult protective services or caring law enforcement, alerted my DH, who loaded Monica & her possessions up & drove her to a campsite, paid the campground hosts.

Now, who helped Monica then????
NOT the campground hosts, who feared her, mistakenly thinking she was "crazy", despite their NRA & Protected by Smith&Wesson stickers
NOT the Salvation Army, NOT the Mormon Church (who can contribute millions to keep Prop 8 into play, but can't afford any sort of help to 1 soul in need), NOT the ministerial society. So, Monica spent the night sitting in the dirt next to a bundled up tent that she had neither the mental or physical ablilites to set up. NO where to go, NO ONE to help......until someone (DH) told a cat lover (moi).

I brought Monica home, covered the couch (she is unable to properly wipe), fed her, helped her clean up,took her to the thrift store & got her some clothes. Over the next 2 weeks, I worked nights at the office so I could spend my days desperately seeking help for her, doing my best to turn over every bureaucratical stone, calling and calling and calling agencies again and again, driving her to appointments, getting her emergency food stamps, telephonically reuniting her with her mom in TX who hadnt talked to her in over 5yrs; ALAS, in a lack of communication, my DH secured the dismissal of the bf's charges on the condition that he left the county, the county bought bus tickets for both Monica & him to a different area of the state. She almost didn't go - but she was afraid of him coming after her & she wouldn't go with me to the authorities, she left with dH to the court, taking a backpack stuffed with as many supplies as she could manage, and disappeared out of my life. I wonder and worry about her like I would a lost cat I was only a week away from getting her qualified as a permanent county resident; she would have gotten care from the state regional center, the welfare dept, I'd found a dentist to take her indigent medical card
So, you see, dear one, unless you meet some poor unfortunate like Monica, you probably won't realize how much your ARE doing for your BF's niece .......... You are a REAL ANGEL,here on Earth and Heaven sent

That was a touching story. I type this with tears streaming down my face. Tara will always have a home with us. Even if i couldnt do anything for her, she has other family to help her. She makes some money on her own, babysitting her 2nd cousin, my nephew and godson, while his parents are working. But one thing. Last night, she was writing a letter to her mother, to read at the funeral. I SWEAR, she sounded so mature, and the letter was so heart felt, that i could not stop crying. Ive never thought i would hear her sound SOOO mature. it was like, her mental age matched her physical age.
post #12 of 14
Awww, I am so sorry, my condolences to all of you
post #13 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by KiTTYL0VE4 View Post
That was a touching story. I type this with tears streaming down my face. Tara will always have a home with us. Even if i couldnt do anything for her, she has other family to help her. She makes some money on her own, babysitting her 2nd cousin, my nephew and godson, while his parents are working. But one thing. Last night, she was writing a letter to her mother, to read at the funeral. I SWEAR, she sounded so mature, and the letter was so heart felt, that i could not stop crying. Ive never thought i would hear her sound SOOO mature. it was like, her mental age matched her physical age.
Now I am crying (typing here at my desk at work) that is soo beautiful - sometimes I am convinced that the angels speak to our special ones in ways we could never understand
post #14 of 14
Very sorry to hear that
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