Four months ago, I was driving through a local wooded area and I spotted some kittens by the side of the road.....I pulled in to investigate. There appeared to be no mother and the four little ones were in danger of getting hit by a passing car. So I scooped them all into my car and took them home. There were four of them and I couldnt keep them all as I already have a dog and a cat so I kept one and arranged homes for the rest. We kept the most outgoing, confident and friendly and my three little girls decided to call him Snowy. So snowy came to live with us and after a trip to the vet they estimated that he was just over four weeks old. And so Snowy lived with us, he has been the sweetest most adorable kitten anyone could wish for. Two days ago tradgedy struck, I was pulling away in my car and I heard a clunk, then saw Snowy dart from under the car. I got out and dashed to see if I had hurt him. He appeared to be fighting with this head and I knew then that I had seriously hurt him. I picked him up and told him it would all be okay but I knew it wouldnt, he died a few moments later. How can I ever look myself in the mirror again, the rational side of my knows it was a terrible accident but I feel so terribly guilty. I feel desolate at the loss of my gorgeous boy which in itself is bad enough but to know that I killed him is eating me up inside. I love all animals and would never hurt anything, god I feel awful on the few occasions I have trodden on a snail - how can I ever get through this. I dont feel I can talk to anyone as I dont feel anyone can understand.....maybe someone out there can? The irony of the fact that I saved him from being run over, only to do it myself is not lost on me.
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12/5/08 at 12:19am