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Someone please tell me how to get through this...

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 
My 13 year old Cat died and I feel so responsible please help me....

tell me how to feel better. My cat Tazzy was 13 years old, overweight but healthy. She started clawing at our new furniture and I trimmed her nails weekly but the tears in the couch were still coming and I called 4 vets because I thought she was too old to be declawed, they all told me no we do it all the time, then I heard about the Laser declaw, and was willing to do what I had to to make it less painful, healing time, etc for her. She was declawed on Nov 3rd, I brought her home Nov 4th, she was eating great and the litter I was supposed to use, well my other cat wouldn't use it so instead of separating them I put the old litter back in and checked her paws daily to see if I saw infection. Weeks went by and I noticed she seemed not to be eating but I would catch her by the water food bowls so I thought she was but she wasn't, I would hear her go downstairs at night so I thought she was eating. one night her paw bled on Nov 20th, I took her to the vet the next morning the 21st, they cleaned her paw and wrapped it up. Then I still thought she wasn't eating and she looked bad so I took her in on the 27th, they kept her all day, gave her fluids, iv, antibiotics, said she hand an infection, so I picked her up and she looked so much better, I had to force feed her, Thanksgiving Day she looked great, was eating what I fed her, Friday I took her in and told them she was eating a lot but had diarrea, they gave me a medicine for her, I gave it to her and Saturday night I thought she looked bad again, Sunday morning She looked so bad, we were going to take her to the emergency vet, I held her in my arms and she died within a few minutes, she let out 2 meows at me and looked right into my eyes and died. I am SO horrified, hysterical, seriously feel like I am going to lose my mind. I want to burn my furniture, I feel like the worst person in the world right now. I lost my perfectly healthy cat because I got her declawed and it just became the biggest nightmare ever. How do I get through this, I keep breaking down so hard and going out to her grave and I can't deal with it. How do I get over this knowing it was my fault?
post #2 of 8
Sweetie, sometimes in life, we all make decisions that we wish we could take back, its just life, but now you are in a place, in your life that through this deep grief that you feel, you possibly can help so many others from going down this path.

People say all of the time, this procedure is horrible, but there are 1000's of vets willing to do it anyway. It sends such a confusing message to people who are relying on these DOCTORS to guide them down the right way. Realistically, when you have Drs telling you "no problem, its ok", what are you suppose to believe?

I am so very sorry you are facing this right now. I am a spiritual person and truly believe that our beloved pets will be reunited with us again one day. I believe they are all around us now.

You are going to be so sad, as the days pass, do remember the joy your baby brought to you. Im sure she would not want to have someone that she loves to remember her with such sadness. Find the joy again, when its time.

Now you can be an advocate in her name, to help educate others, so this meaningless procedure can be stopped.

Many hugs to you. You have come to the right place with people who will understand and respect your pain.

May your little baby always Rest In Peace, until you see her again.
post #3 of 8
I can only echo what Pami said. So sorry that you are going through this. How sad.
post #4 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovecats4ever View Post
I lost my perfectly healthy cat because I got her declawed
Let me start by saying that in life we all make mistakes, and unfortunately both you and Tazzy have been hit badly by it.

You've had an experience which will live with you forever, but through this experience you've been educated on declawing

Just take one day at a time for grieving, but when your able to, please visit the health forum now and again, because we need more people like you to get the message across to people who are thinking of having their cats declawed, people who have actually had to witness the horrible procedure

Rest assured were not going to flame you, because like many, you didn't realise until after

Tazzy

________________________________________
post #5 of 8
Oh, please try to stop beating yourself up over this. You relied on professional opinion, and you did not mean to have this happen. Please, I can emphathize, for you see, I have done something similar, but to my own child.
My story: I had my daughter given the DPT shot that caused her brain-damage. She's 29 years old now, but with the mind of a confused 13yo. The worst part is that she has a severe speech impediment plus she lost some of her gross motor skills so not only can she not ride a bike, skate, etc., she cannot open certain door knobs or turn on/off some stoves,etc.; people get easily frustrated trying to have a conversation with her so they avoid her. She had only a few real friends growing up and endured years of teasing. Now she stays with my parents longing for friends and a job; the only program for her around here requires that she work in their thrift store and partcipate in their program which is downscaled for clients who are much more challenged than she is. She is sooo lonely She is unusual because her left brain doesn't function enough to be "normal" but her right brain makes her smart enough to realize it
So, please, please grieve for losing your precious princess so tragically, and yes, like the others said, use your horrible experience to warn others, but do not condemn yourself anymore than you would condemn me - I was only trying to protect my child from horrible diseases, but instead condemned her to a lonely, boring life. Like you, I listened to the experts - so, are we to blame, you and I????
This is so hard for me to write, but I wish so badly that I could make you feel better. So I am sending you my sincerest prayers and vibes
post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 
you are all so wonderful, I am hurting so bad and knowing that strangers are so caring, more than family members of mine, is so touching.

Pami I am so sorry about your daughter, that is so sad. You are so nice for writing me and sharing that.

I am trying so hard to get through this, I just feel like the pain will never go away.

I love cats so much, I am love all animals so much but I just feel so touched by cats and want to help them, when time passes I will save another cat, but for now I can't think of that, I am just too sad and want my Tazzy back.

Thank you again all of you, I plan on posting and finding people to share my story with so I can try so hard to get through this and hopefully my story will change someone's mind about declawing, I had to learn this way that it's wrong and it has changed my life forever
post #7 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovecats4ever View Post
you are all so wonderful, I am hurting so bad and knowing that strangers are so caring, more than family members of mine, is so touching.

Pami I am so sorry about your daughter, that is so sad. You are so nice for writing me and sharing that.

I am trying so hard to get through this, I just feel like the pain will never go away.

I love cats so much, I am love all animals so much but I just feel so touched by cats and want to help them, when time passes I will save another cat, but for now I can't think of that, I am just too sad and want my Tazzy back.

Thank you again all of you, I plan on posting and finding people to share my story with so I can try so hard to get through this and hopefully my story will change someone's mind about declawing, I had to learn this way that it's wrong and it has changed my life forever
I still feel badly about cats I've cared for that, despite all the vets I took them to, they passed on. As pet owners we have to rely on what "professionals" advise, and hope we're doing the right thing. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't. So much is out of our control in life and we can only learn from it for the future.

I'm sure Tazzy would want you to bring another cat into your life, when you're ready. She's at the Bridge now doesn't have any bad feelings towards you. She's happy, healthy and playing with all the other animals waiting patiently to see you again.
post #8 of 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovecats4ever View Post
you are all so wonderful, I am hurting so bad and knowing that strangers are so caring, more than family members of mine, is so touching.

Thank you again all of you, I plan on posting and finding people to share my story with so I can try so hard to get through this and hopefully my story will change someone's mind about declawing, I had to learn this way that it's wrong and it has changed my life forever
I'm going to suggest two things:

1. Check out www.petloss.com.

2. Consider that the declawing might not have been the cause of all this. Your cat was 13 years old, and she may have already had a problem that at most was worsened by the declawing, and might not have had anything to do with it. You took the step of declawing in an effort to make your coexistence with her easier, but of course she didn't know that.
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