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eHarmony settles in Gay discrimination lawsuit - Page 3

post #61 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
IMO its sad when a person caves in to pressure and won't stand up for what they believe in. While the site may not be advertised as "Christian" - the fact is the founder of eHarmony was/is a very active Christian. If he really believed in what the Bible teaches and would stand on truth, he should have fought the lawsuit.

I'm Christian, I base my beliefs on God's word and the truth. No one will force me to accept the homosexual lifestyle as being right or ok. I still love the person, I just don't approve or accept the lifestyle they choose - and I would not compromise my beliefs just because someone is trying to say "discrimination".
Yes, and I love people but hate walking on two legs. You cannot say you love a person and hate something that is an integral and important part of who they are. To claim otherwise is a farce. Sexuality is not an action verb.

If you don't approve of same-sex relationships, don't have one. That way you go on about your business same as usual, and so does everyone else. The fact that society as a whole is becoming accepting of its members does not in any way infringe upon the rights of those who hate them. It might make you uncomfortable, but hey, it makes me uncomfortable that some people want to impose a theocracy, so I guess fair is fair.

I do agree that eHarmony shouldn't have been forced to provide services to a demographic they didn't want to, so long as it wasn't openly discriminatory, but they did not call themselves a Christian organization or advertise themselves in that manner. Is the store I work at a 'Jewish store' just because the owner is Jewish?

Also, I can't stand this conflagration of Christianity with whatever-you-want-to-call-the-animosity-you-have-towards-gay-people. It isn't a tenet of Christianity, and a very very large percentage of Christians don't agree with it. I know your criteria for whether a church is True Christian is where they stand on the "issue" of gay people, but that's not what the world at large uses.
post #62 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrblanche View Post
In fact, the NJ attorney general, who negotiated the settlement, said up front that e-harmony had broken no laws or regulations.

I think it's a shame that this became an issue at all. eHarmony was not maliciously and intentionally discriminating against anyone. They had their niche of the on-line dating market, mostly evangelical Christians. So what? What was wrong with that? What would be wrong with a dating service for any particular group, whether for Hispanics, Hindus or gays? There's nothing wrong with targeting services toward a specific group of people who have something in common, whether it's religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation.

I don't think gay folks help their cause by bringing these types of lawsuits. If e-Harmony were the *only* game in town and excluded gay dating services, they'd have a point. But that's not the case. This is just sticking a finger in the eye of evangelicals. I think all it does it cause resentment and anger - not helpful to anyone.

Tolerance cuts both ways. It's ok to acknowledge that there are real differences between people and that it's not a bad thing. What happened to "celebrating diversity"? Live and let live?
post #63 of 77
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KTLynn View Post
What happened to "celebrating diversity"? Live and let live?
I believe that's the very questions they're trying to get answers for themselves
post #64 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skippymjp View Post
I believe that's the very questions they're trying to get answers for themselves

When you say "they" I imagine you're referring to gays and I understand your point.

However, as I said in the rest of my post, sticking it to an on-line dating service that happens to market its services largely to evangelicals may not necessarily foster sympathy for the gay cause, and might actually only serve to help set back any progress.
post #65 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
Yes, and I love people but hate walking on two legs. You cannot say you love a person and hate something that is an integral and important part of who they are. To claim otherwise is a farce..
This is not on the subject of homosexuality, but rather to address the above. I have a close person in my life who is extremely selfish and narcissistic and who has a mental disorder that is currently undiagnosed IMO, I hate the behaviors that result. It hurts others, offends others, and brings so much negativity it is overwhelming. This person has been this way for as long as I have known the person, it is an important part of who they are unfortunately, they are known for it everywhere they go. However, I do love the person, I have learned to looked past it and love the person for who they are, regardless of the really messed up behaviors. Perhaps that is what this poster was saying?
post #66 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
However, I do love the person, I have learned to looked past it and love the person for who they are, regardless of the really messed up behaviors. Perhaps that is what this poster was saying?
basically, many Christians feel that the homosexual lifestyle is a sinful one, just as are many other lifestyles that are socially acceptable. doesn't mean i hate the person, just their behavioral choices. i also feel that heterosexual people who have sex w/o being married are living a sinful lifestyle. i have many friends who choose to live their lives in this way, as well as many homosexual friends. doesn't mean i don't like them as people - i do, or they wouldn't be friends. doesn't mean i think their actions are pleasing to God.
post #67 of 77
After reading this whole thread, I have only one question:
Who decided that active participation in an online dating site was/is a "right"?
I dont buy that. I cant believe we have developed a society where everyone thinks they have the right to....well everything. I dont think that simply being a person entitles you (by rights) to everythign that is available in the world, be it product, service, or whatever. It seems to me that the "discrimination card" is being increasingly played simply in order for an individual or group to "get their own way". If you can say that word, and claim that you have been discriminated against (whether you actually were or whether you were denied on a completely different, potentially legitimate, reason) everyone will agree that you have been wronged, and the situation will change to suit you. DISCRIMINATION is a scary word that means trouble. gah. Ultimately, I guess what I am saying is 2 things
1) not everything is your right just because it exists
2) there are legitimate exclusions, not everything is discrimination

thats mho
post #68 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Februa View Post
After reading this whole thread, I have only one question:
Who decided that active participation in an online dating site was/is a "right"?
I dont buy that. I cant believe we have developed a society where everyone thinks they have the right to....well everything. I dont think that simply being a person entitles you (by rights) to everythign that is available in the world, be it product, service, or whatever. It seems to me that the "discrimination card" is being increasingly played simply in order for an individual or group to "get their own way". If you can say that word, and claim that you have been discriminated against (whether you actually were or whether you were denied on a completely different, potentially legitimate, reason) everyone will agree that you have been wronged, and the situation will change to suit you. DISCRIMINATION is a scary word that means trouble. gah. Ultimately, I guess what I am saying is 2 things
1) not everything is your right just because it exists
2) there are legitimate exclusions, not everything is discrimination

thats mho
Amen! I agree with you. The discrimination card is pulled too often and soon it too will be ignored and not believed even in a true case of discrimination which will be a great loss. Rather like the little boy that cried wolf.

I believe gays should have equal rights in matters, but I also think they are not doing themselves any favours in the manner in which they are seeking public support. I think they are turning people against them that would normally be very supportive.
post #69 of 77
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Amen! I agree with you. The discrimination card is pulled too often and soon it too will be ignored and not believed even in a true case of discrimination which will be a great loss. Rather like the little boy that cried wolf.

I believe gays should have equal rights in matters, but I also think they are not doing themselves any favours in the manner in which they are seeking public support. I think they are turning people against them that would normally be very supportive.
I agree was well. I said earlier in this thread that I think eHarmony would have had a more that even chance of winning this suit if it had gone to court. We can do all sorts of speculating on why they settled, but in the end, the reasons are all their own.
post #70 of 77
Those that believe in the Bible will know what is to come:

"Brother will turn against brother, father against son" and "the good will be "bad" and the bad will be "good".

As long as you stand for what you believe in and don't become a part of this world, you'll be ok. We have to live in this world, but we don't have to be a part of this world.
post #71 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Those that believe in the Bible will know what is to come:

"Brother will turn against brother, father against son" and "the good will be "bad" and the bad will be "good".
You may have missed it, but it already has come and has been here for many, many, many years.
post #72 of 77
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
You may have missed it, but it already has come and has been here for many, many, many years.
Some followers of Asatru believe that happened during Ragnarok, thousands of years ago.

Of course, some others think that Ragnarok is yet to happen, so, who knows?
post #73 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Those that believe in the Bible will know what is to come:

"Brother will turn against brother, father against son" and "the good will be "bad" and the bad will be "good".

As long as you stand for what you believe in and don't become a part of this world, you'll be ok. We have to live in this world, but we don't have to be a part of this world.
I think you have to seriously ask yourself what Jesus would do. If I remember my New Testament correctly Jesus hung out with some unsavory
(for the times) people. People who were ostracized by society.

I don't think Jesus got to involved in politics. Number #1, love your brother as yourself.
post #74 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckblv View Post
I think you have to seriously ask yourself what Jesus would do. If I remember my New Testament correctly Jesus hung out with some unsavory
(for the times) people. People who were ostracized by society.

I don't think Jesus got to involved in politics. Number #1, love your brother as yourself.
Absolutely!

To bring this full circle-- almost everybody (and there are of course extremists for every idea and group) understands that many people believe that the Bible or other holy book describes being gay as wrong. While this might be arguable, it's also largely recognized as a lost cause. Arguing about translations or whether the NT forgives ALL of the 'sins' of the OT or only some is usually futile. To wit, most people can accept when someone says they believe it's wrong the same way they think me 'living in sin' as a straight couple is wrong, or cursing is wrong, or whatever else that large proportions of us do that do not do anyone any real harm and yet some religious folks would disapprove of. That's absolutely fine. I don't smoke pot, some people do, and so long as it stays recreational and was gotten safely, then... meh.

This thread should, in that light, be about whether a business's right to choose its clientele takes precedence over whether every group needs to have access to every company/club/etc in order for it not to be discriminatory. Most people (not to make an argumentum ad populum, but) don't have a problem with gay people dating. While a dismaying number of people have a problem with gay marriage, we're talking about people's right to live, breathe, and love the way everyone else does, and it sickens me a bit that the mere notion brings up thoughts of the Rapture.

I can't think of any other group of people that it is acceptable to say things like that of. We don't make wholesale judgements of the character of people, we don't question their 'right' to live with the same freedoms as anyone else, we don't dehumanize them in such a way.

It's disgusting to read arguments which question what is basically another person's right to exist. In everyday conversation around me, some of the things that get said (not just in this thread) would be enough to get you fired from some jobs, and rightfully so. I know people tiptoe on glass around the word 'hate', but hey, whatever you want to call it God knows what is in your heart and I suppose that's between the two of you.
post #75 of 77
not sure which posts you're saying would be actionable [meaning, you could get fired for them]. i wouldn't be fired from any job i can think of for stating my opinion that i consider another person's way of life to be sinful. i probably wouldn't say it - that's certainly NOT the way to convince anyone to change - but if i clearly state that this is MY opinion, & do not treat the other person any differently from anyone else at the workplace, how is that cause for firing?

maybe some examples would be helpful - or am i just being dense [it's been known to happen ]?
post #76 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by laureen227 View Post
[size=3][font=Trebuchet MS]not sure which posts you're saying would be actionable [meaning, you could get fired for them]. i wouldn't be fired from any job i can think of for stating my opinion that i consider another person's way of life to be sinful. i probably wouldn't say it - that's certainly NOT the way to convince anyone to change - but if i clearly state that this is MY opinion, & do not treat the other person any differently from anyone else at the workplace, how is that cause for firing?
If you read my post over again, I'm pretty sure you'll find your stated opinions rather specifically excluded from that.

As for examples... if you read something, and replace the 'gay' part with 'women' or 'black people' or 'interracial couples' or 'Ohioans' or 'cohabitating couples' or whatever else and it sounds ridiculous, then those are the comments I'm talking about.
post #77 of 77
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
If you read my post over again, I'm pretty sure you'll find your stated opinions rather specifically excluded from that.

As for examples... if you read something, and replace the 'gay' part with 'women' or 'black people' or 'interracial couples' or 'Ohioans' or 'cohabitating couples' or whatever else and it sounds ridiculous, then those are the comments I'm talking about.
gotcha. those Ohioans - gotta watch them!
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