Depths of Dispair

The garage just called. My car is going to cost $450.00 to repair. The Ti-rods (sp) are shot and need to be replaced. They said I was lucky that one of my tires did not fall off. I had to ask my dad for the money. I just hate having to ask him for money. Not because he gives me a hard time about the money, he always says "That's what dad's are for". He just always looks for ways I don't have to pay him back, which makes me feel worse. I feel like a loser because I still need my daddy.

I'm sorry to hear that your car needs to be fixed. We've all been there sometime or another in our life. I would feel bad about borrowing money from my parents too, but thankfully your dad was there to help you out. It would have been more of a mess if he wasn't there, then you'd have to figure out another way to get money.

You are not a looser - actually count yourself very very very lucky to have supporting family like you do - there aren't many of them around!!!

Nora mate, you a definitely not a loser. At one time or another in our lives, almost all of us have had to borrow money from family or friends. Your Dad loves you and he wants to help in any way he can. I have a Grandma like this and what makes me feel better is insisting that I pay her back for anything. Even if she won't take the money (she can be stubborn), I leave it hidden under her coffee cup or in her glasses case. That way, I feel happy that we're 'even' and I don't feel guillty about borrowing the money.

I think your Dad would be far more upset if he had to see you suffer because you couldn't drive your car.

I can't tell you how many times that I've had to ask my parents for help. The last time, they drove over 400 miles, to help me pack up and move back home. If not for them, I'd have been lost.

Be grateful that you have someone who loves and wants to help.

Nothing wrong with depending on family - IMO that is what family is for - support! If he doesn't take the money back, make him come over for dinner at least once per week for about 1-2 months! That will pay off your debt to him.

Nora! Your father wants you to be safe! That's more important than pride. If Dad will accept it, pay it back. If not, remember this story, please. My mother was on Social Security. Daddy had died when I was only 30 because he was much older and he had been self employed most of his life. The rest of the time he was in the British Navy, so no military pension, only a small Social Security Check, and my mother had been a stay at home mother.

One day she asked my teen-aged daughter to take her somewhere if I allowed her to drive my car. When they came back, she had a beautiful bronze fireplace set for me. I didn't have one for our stone fireplace, but just had to buy too many other things for the "new" house. I told her she shouldn't have done that, because I knew she couldn't afford even a second hand set. I went for my checkbook and insisted that I would have bought it anyway and thanked her for finding such a bargain. Her face dropped. "Jeanie, would you deprive me one of the few joys I have left in my life?" Well, I immediately changed my tune. Giving IS one of life's greatest joys. My mother would rather have gone hungry than not to find and buy a bargain for her family now and then. She loved a bargain, and loved to give. I had insulted her beyond belief! I will never forget the look on her face, and never insulted her again.

What we did was buy tickets for Stars on Ice or make reservations at an especially nice restaurant, or buy tickets for the symphony--and surprise her. She had spent her whole life doing for others, and had never been to places like that. Sometimes it was a bit of a hardship for us, but oh, what joy it brought us all. We had learned one of life's most important lessons!

Thanks guys. I feel a lot better. I know my Dad enjoys helping my sister and I out of jams. He was in a car accident in November (day before Thanksgiving). He slid on black ice and hit a telephone pole, flipped the truck over and they had to use the jaws of life to remove him from the truck. He had a broken back and it turned out he had a 103 degree temperature. The next day his temperature had reached 104 and he was not responding. They gave him antibiotics and told us that he might not make it. I was sitting with him in the ICU when he opened his eyes and looked at me. I talked to him and he answered. I was so relieved. The next day he was sitting up in bed and eating his breakfast. He told the nurses that he couldn't die because he still had his two daughters to take care of. He turned 84 yesterday.

God bless him, Nora! He's living for you two. Let him have his joy! We were born to older parents, and we don't get to keep them until we're 50 or 60 like many others! Spend as much time with him as you can. That is all the repayment he wants. What other purpose is there in a retired person's life? We value them, but they start feeling useless. They don't have work to look forward to, and they can't do the physical hobbies that gave them satisfaction. They live for their children, and their children are either their source of joy or sorrow and loneliness! I'm so glad you still have him.

You are not a loser for having to ask your dad for something! Parents always want to help their kids! You are so lucky you have a dad like that!

Your lucky to still have your Daddy to go to!!!!