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Second Life Romance Costs First Life Marriage...Gaming gone to far

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
I'm going to say up front that I'm not a gamer. I've never played any of the online games, and don't understand the draw of them. *end disclaimer*

This couple plays a game called Second Life (disturbing title I think) which is apparently quite popular in Briton. In the game, you "live a life", complete with buying property, getting "married", etc. Apparently he "cheated" in his second life, and so she divorced him in both lives.


He says he "cheated" because his wife never wanted to do anything because she was always playing World of Warcraft.

Seriously, though, what is the draw for these games? I know people who play them, sure, but there are so many people for whom these games are everything. Calling a game Second Life has to be a siren call for those who are not doing well in their "first" life. It almost preys on people like that.
post #2 of 23
I wouldn't say it prays on them. I think it is just a game just like any other that some take to far. It looks kind of like sims to me but only you are playing with real people. I thought it looked kind of fun.I guess the way I look at it is that there are games where you shoot and kill people who are playing the game just like you but that doesn't mean you are going to shoot some one for real. I thought the story was kinda funny.
post #3 of 23
I'm not surprised. This caught my eye the other day browsing the news, and I realized then there are people that take gaming way, way too seriously

post #4 of 23
Unfortunately addictive personalities become very engrossed in these fantasy lives. We had a young lad of 15 run away from home when his dad took away his XBox. He was found dead. Apparently he fell out of a tree and sustained mortal injuries. What a shame and loss of a young person with so much ahead for them.

Our daughter had a friend in the US that was totally addicted to Guild Wars. He didn't want to go to school or get a job. All he did was play online. What a waste of a good brain.
post #5 of 23
What concerns me more is the extensive gross amount of real time, emotions, mental health and well being and energy wasted into a game, instead of with your REAL life. It is a psychological addiction and a real problem.
post #6 of 23
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Skippymjp View Post
I'm not surprised. This caught my eye the other day browsing the news, and I realized then there are people that take gaming way, way too seriously

Holy moley! Yeah, right there are a whole bunch of character costumes that I don't recognize in the least!
post #7 of 23
I tried Second Life and a few other of those type games and just did not get it. I didn't understand the point, didn't understand the draw and didn't keep playing.

I love playing online Scrabble against my mum, or trying to beat relatives in word games we play over Facebook. It makes me feel less far away from everyone
post #8 of 23
I'm not a gamer either, but don't write it off as all bad . One of our local universities has purchased "property" there for "off campus" internet classes, so that there are students in a "class" to meet, share notes, study together, etc..

Another forum (cystic fibrosis, a genetic lung/digestive system disease) I belong to also has an island there, because we aren't supposed to meet/socialize in person, due to cross infection issues. I haven't joined "the island" yet (I'm technically challenged. lol). They have holiday parties, etc. and apparently many people enjoy it. It's like live chat, but with avatars .

So I guess I'm saying, as usual, it's not the technology, it's how it's used . Though i admit, it did give me the creeps when they first brought it up .
post #9 of 23
I've never heard of that game, but then again i don't play them.

I've heard everything now though Talk about not having control of your life
post #10 of 23
Years and years ago I used to play a game called "Ultima Online". It's a fantasy role play game that you play online with other people from around the world.

I know that people who have never met one another in real life would have their avatars enter into "in game" romances and get married in game.

I even know and have been witness to real life marriages being destroyed because of it.

I remember when I was playing after my ex quit the game and some months later we broke up, but I kept playing. I met up with some other players and one guy liked to go hunting monsters. I loved to go too but was too freaked out, and not very good at monster fighting to go by myself, so he always took me out to my favourite places to hunt in the game. He was married with 2 or 3 kids.

He started to get attached to me offline. Even suggesting that we meet up. I told him that wasn't appropriate.
post #11 of 23
I think there's a difference between playing a game, and LIVING the game. My husband and I both play WOW. We really enjoy it, and we belong to a guild that has people we know in real life as members.

There's a man (who is WAY too old for me and married) who my husband jokingly refers to as my "WoW" boyfriend. When my husband started joking like that, I stopped talking so much to this guy, not wanting to cause any issues. But, I am fully aware that it's a game, and that the people I interact with in the game have real lives (or they should, at least, lol).
post #12 of 23
My boyfriend and I met on World of Warcraft . We were friends for 2 years before we met and then dated long distance for a year. We still play, a lot actually. What else should we do? We both work very hard and want to relax when we get home, I don’t particularly like watching TV, so we play video games. (World of Warcraft players: OMG expansion and DeathKnights!! We are even more addicted now then ever lol)

I love my life, even in the worst of times, even if I was depressed, I always had value on my life and thought it was wonderful… I played every single online game out there, I also was addicted to Sims 2. Its just a fun thing for me… as I see it, gaming is my hobby, just as other people have different hobbies. So I have made up worlds for myself on my computer, it was fun! Lol.

I do however think people who get addicted to these games have other issues. Maybe addicted isn’t a good word as I feel I’m addicted to WoW. An unhealthy addiction where it ruins any aspect of your life. I think that if someone has this in them it would come out eventually. If they never got into online games maybe it would be drinking, drugs, gambling, etc.

That relationship probably had troubles to begin with. When I moved across Canada to be with my boyfriend we switched servers because he felt uncomfortable of how my online guy friends (who I also knew for 2 years) flirted with me. I respected him enough to realize real life is more important and switched servers with him. I now only talk to my old friends occasionally in email.

People who ruin their lives over games have other issues all together, that’s just IMO.
post #13 of 23
In Second Life, don't you use real money to buy property, or am I confusing it with another game.

I don't play online games but DH plays WoW. He works long, hard days and needs to relax at night so I normally don't say anything about it. Most nights it doesn't bother me, but some nights I'm like "TALK TO ME!!!!". But, it's more a routine for him, not an obssesion. It doesn't interfere with his work (like it does his best friend). Now, I just got to find out if he has any WoW girlfriends.
post #14 of 23
I admit to playing the occasional word games like Scrabble or Bookworm, and we play Guitar Hero together sometimes, but generally I hate online gaming. I was seriously considering leaving my dh at one point because he would not do anything else from the time he got up in the morning until he absolutely had to go to work. I figured he wouldn't even notice I was gone. He finally stopped playing so much.
post #15 of 23
I met my other half two years ago on World of Warcraft, so it isn't all bad!
post #16 of 23
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
In Second Life, don't you use real money to buy property, or am I confusing it with another game.
You can earn their money in the game doing stuff and get weekly $$ I think too, but can certainly buy their money with real money
post #17 of 23
My husband and I have played EverQuest for 5 years. It has not done any damage to our relationship but we have made some strong friend relationships all over the world. We have recently quit playing though because the excitement of the game is just not there for us anymore.
post #18 of 23
All I can say about it: if they would have spent the time in their real life marriage with each other, instead of wasting it on a game with others, then maybe they would not have divorced.

People are always trying to blame something else for their actions.
post #19 of 23
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
Now, I just got to find out if he has any WoW girlfriends.
Don't worry. Most of the female characters he plays with are guys... Unless someone gets on Ventrillo and proves they're female (which sets a woman up for a lot of joking in that case), most of the guys assume that everyone else is a guy, too.

DH has been going on about the new WoW expansion. Sadly for him, he done himself in. Playing before and after work for over two years straight has now left him with chronic tendinitis. It doesn't take much to set off the inflammation so playing computer games or even using the computer for more then 20-30 minutes at a time is out. Not that I mind that too much...
Something for those who play a lot to consider, and whether it's "harming" anyone.
He still misses the social aspect of the game and friends he made on there a lot. In that way it's no different then this forum is for some.

As for games/cheating on one's spouse. I knew a couple years ago. They had originally met on U.O., dated online, met up, got engaged and eventually got married. DH and I lost contact with them but heard from the woman's son recently that they got divorced. Apparently the guy really got into playing WoW heavily, and played as a female character on there (and from what I understand told others he was a woman). Well... some can guess where this went. Strange, very strange.

I've seen/heard some very weird things about certain creatures on Second Life and things people would do to get "pets". Things that make getting overly involved in a game seem almost normal.
post #20 of 23
I played taht game before but did not like it.
My Sister is addicted to it.
My ex mgr is addicted to online games also.
I even lost a friend taht way.
She joined some site and kept saying sorry I have no time anymore.
I have not talked to her in years.
I do play Pogo all the time though.
post #21 of 23
Both my husband and myself play World of Warcraft, though him more than me. I am not sure if it is "healthy" or not. I'm thinking not, although it is fun. It is worse when you have the type of personality where you specifically want to procrastinate and avoid doing actual work, and playing games like WoW, which are fun, is very easy and can suck up a lot of time. It is not hard to sit down, open the game and three hours later realize that you have had to pee for a while and don't know what time it is. That is really not a good thing, and it makes life harder when you passionately hate doing simple things like laundry and the dishes. What easier way to put them off than by playing a fun game, right?

Really, many people, including us, are quite pathetic. A lot of people have healthy gaming habits. I know many of them. A lot of our friends play games like WoW and have no issues. We have a lot of dirty laundry, but otherwise are okay. I just find that online games or really fun video games of any kind are really easy ways to encourage my procrastination habit. If I don't want to do my homework or the laundry, I can play a game that will help me from noticing the time pass. If I visited The Cat Site instead of playing the game, I would give myself a mental guilt trip every few minutes about the laundry or whatever I am not doing, and eventually go do it. But, if I am playing a video game (online or not) it can be several hours before I remember what I was supposed to do, and they are guilt free.

Maybe this explains how bad habits with a game like that can be formed.

I have heard terrible things about games ruining people's relationships, but so have various other online activities and offline activities. A lot of the people who have their marriages ruined by gaming would have had their marriages ruined by something else because the people who cheat on their spouses via the internet or who completely ignore their significant other already have other problems not related to a game. The game is just a vehicle, just like with me and my terrible tendency to procrastinate and be disorganized.

I am also going to add, just as a side note, that I think the costumes from Blizzcon are pretty cool. I do costuming as a hobby and sometimes enter contests at conventions, and do not find it to be odd that people would make costumes to wear for something they are a fan of. It is not uncommon to see people make superhero costumes or costumes from characters in movies or books, so I don't think it is weird to make a costume because you are a fan of a game. Some of the people who made those costumes are really talented! Mine are not nearly so cool.
post #22 of 23
I agree with the people who think it's a waste of mental energy.
post #23 of 23
hmm...I don't think it's actually your second life if it does indeed become your first

idk, I'm not into gaming. I just love kitties.
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