Spraying, hurting my other cats, constantly discontented cat :-(

I am unfortunately at my wits end. This is my first post here. I just want to give some background info about my cats and the situation, so hopefully that will help with advice if any is given. Please forgive the length of this post...

I have a 6 yr old neutered male, Puddins. He was a rescue cat, adopted from a rescue center. He was neutered before we got him.

We had no other cats at the time, but he always had the urge to go outside, which is normal. He even attempted jump from our second story balcony at one point. He never seemed happy, not wanting to play, always pacing around, etc.

About 2 years ago Miss Kitty came to my door. She was about 3 months, nearly starved to death. I nursed her back to health. Puddins and Miss Kitty got along well after a while. But his behaviour got worse. He would sit at the door and howl, escape and disappear for days. Then the spraying started.

Another kitten turned up. Things got worse from there. Puddins pees on everything now, my curtians, clothes, my sons bed, his pillows, anything. I understand read that it was stress or perhaps a UTI. Took him to the vet. No UTI, in good health, recommended Feliway plug ins and spray to help calm the stress.

Feliway had no effect, neither did the spray. Puddins continues to pee, he also bites the other two cats in the face, often drawing blood. He recently became an outside cat because he would not stop wandering around the house and howling. He doesnt want to play, he doesnt want to be pet. He just howls.

Ive tried spending more time with him, Ive tried different toys, different food, spent a small fortune on Feliway products. I know its probably the other two cats that cause him stress, but they are contented with things and are very good cats.

Im heart broken and we are considering taking him to a rescue center. I dont want to, but Im running out of options. He still pees everywhere, hisses and bites the other cats, and howls whenever he comes in the house. I know hes unhappy, but I have no idea what I can do to help him be more contented.

Any advice would be fantastic. We really are at the end of our rope.

I had a problem similar, but not quite as bad. I called the SPCA and they gave me the number of a cat psychologist, who said I need to figure out why this cat was so angry that he would leave puncture wounds on the other cats head when I was not home. I thought about it, and I narrowed it down to one day when I chased him with a broom after he jumped up and bit my leg. He hated the new cat who was quite the lover, and he was really jealous cause me and the new cat would lay together on the couch and the mad cat would just glare at us. So I started being extra gentle and loving to this cat, and when I was on the couch with the lover cat, I would call him to join us and if he didn't I would get up and place him at the bottom of the couch, and of course he would jump of, and I would put him again until he started staying, and eventually lay across my legs as the other lay on my belly. It took maybe 6 months, but I was consistently loving and kind, never a harsh word, and always patiently included him, and loved him alone.
Your problem sounds more severe though, I would try to turn it around before putting him down. ASk if there are any cat psychologists around.

Thank you for your reply. I have no intention of putting him down, just having him rehomed.

I have considered that his problem might be in his head. And I think it migh be jealousy as well. Im just not sure how to turn it around. :-(

Did the shelter give you Puddin's history when you adopted him?

From what I remember, he was one of a litter that was put down. They decided to keep one (Puddins) and have him adopted. He was in a foster home with other cats for a while until he went off to be adopted. Its a sad story.

Thats all we know really. I have no idea if he was traumatized in any way, bullied, or anything like that. He has always seemed "Unhappy", hard to please, and always in need of something. But I have never figured out what that something is.

Thank you for your replies. I know I just jumped in with my questions without really introducing myself....

Has he been checked by a vet? You said he never seemed happy, always pacing, etc, even before you got other cats? Sounds like clinical symptoms to me. Hyperthyroidism?? Just a wild guess. It just seems so strange to me that he would act like that even when he was an only cat.

He has been to a vet, even before the other cats arrived. We thought he had worms or some other type of intestinal bug. He had general blood work done and we were told there was nothing abnormal.

He wanted outside. He always wanted to go outside. So he would wander from window to window, meow constantly, and pace around some more. It got worse when the other cats arrived. He is now an inside/outside cat, because I thought it would make him happy. Keep him busy & active. But now he goes out, we get some piece and quiet, then hes back, climbing up the screens on my windows wanting back in. He comes in, bullies the other cats, eats, howls, sprays everywhere, then wants out again.

There was a point in time when all 3 of my cats sat together and groomed eachother and got along together. It was a very brief period of time, but it did happen. And I have no idea what happened to make him be so cruel to the other 2 now. He will go out of his way to bite their face or swat at them, claws out.

We are just tolerating it at this point.

Thank you again for your replies, I appreciate it very much...

welcome to TCS and i hope you gain some comfort and support here.

i can relate in some ways with you as my tabitha has some similar behaviours to puddin. she has demanded to go out from a young kitten and in the past she really was only coming indoors to eat and sleep. and then it would only be over night.

she often wakes me at 3/4am by banging on the cabinet in our bedroom and growling and hissing at the other cats. all this because she wants to go out.

i insist on her being in at night time and once she has had her tea she must stay in. quite often she will pace around the house, clearly unhappy at being in. again growling and hissing at the others.

however she has mellowed with age (she's now 10) and also a change in the dynamics. we now have 3 other cats all under 2. it is not unusual to find all 4 cats sleeping peacefully on my bed these days.

she had a wonderful relationship with 2 males i had previously, especially sinbad who she grew up with. and she tolerates shinobi more than milo now and he is the spit of sinbad.

she did also have a terrible relationship with another male who would try and bully her. i did my best to prevent this happening and since his death last october she has definitely become a happier cat.

although she isn't agressive physically to the others, there is alot of verbal agression at times.

i accept that she may be annoyed at being in, at the antics of the other 3 and with all this she choses to come home every time.

ultimately you must decide what to do but in my experience i know tabitha wants to be here with me and we work on that.

has puddin been neutered and the kittens too? i only ask as you say he is spraying and this can be connected to un-neutered/spayed cats.

Sounds like he was a very dominate tom cat before neutered and still acts like one. Some cats do NOT like other cats and would prefer to be an only cat in the house.

IMO you have 2 choices. Rehome the other cats and let him live as an only cat; or rehome him to an only cat home and let the person know not to adopt any other pets.

It sounds like you are trying very hard to make everything work out, that's great. I know it's difficult, I have some issues going on in my home and I am determined to make them work also, but it is stressful. Since he wants to be outside most of the time, is there any way that you could provide a safe enclosure for him? You could put a shelter in the enclosure and that way he could be outside but also safe. It might make for more peace in your household and he could come in when he wanted. I hope everything works out for you and your cats.

Thank you again, everyone, for your responses. It is a stressful, sensitive situation, and I do want to try and resolve it...

Puddins is neutered, and was before he went into male kittyhood, so to speak. Abby, the youngest is spayed, Miss Kitty is not. Ive been afraid of putting her through it because she is a VERY skittish, untrusting cat. I fear traumatizing her. BUT, she absolutely hosed my door last night, which I have never seen her do, and Im assuming its because she has a heat coming. That was kind of a last straw. SO, I will be calling my vet on Monday, to see if there is some way I could calm her, either with drugs or otherwise, so I can get her there to have her spayed. Im sure her being unfixed causes Puddins added stress.

Tab, your kittys behaviour sounds very similar to my kitty. Kinda makes me feel like Im not alone :-)

I do want to exhaust every avenue before rehoming. My son loves Puddins, and Puddins loves my son. They have a special relationship, and I dont want to throw that away.

I really cant thank you guys enough for your suggestions and responses. :-)

I am not sure if the unspayed female may be causing him to react like a male tom even though he has been neutered. Will be something to see if it helps after she has been spayed.

Is there anyway he can be confined to your son's room some of the time? If he and your son are bonded, that may help.

My other thought, and we did this, is to build or purchase a cat enclosure for outside. We have a cat door that leads from our kitchen nook to part of the garage and an enclosed area outside. That way he could have some outside time when he wasn't in your son's room.

Have any of the vets offered medication to see if that helps? I have a rescue dog on 'Reconcile' and it has helped. Meds may help until you can sort this out.

Wishing you patience and hoping he settles down.

Thanks Skimble. :-)

In theory its a great idea to confine him to my sons room. But he pees on everything. And I mean, everything. He has peed on his bed, his stuffed animals, his clothes, the carpet, he even sprays his toys. I clean everything with enzyme cleaner in hopes that he wont mark there again, but he does. Im assuming its because he likes my son and hes marking his stuff? So I keep the door closed. I have closed off all the rooms, so he doesnt pee on things. He still manages too. He sprayed my coat yesterday even while it was hung on a doorknob. Im not sure how he managed that.

I do like the idea of a cat encloser outside. I will talk with my husband about it. I am still getting my other female spayed, I think it might calm her down. Im just scared too.

No vets have offered meds, just suggested Feliway or calming sprays.

I think he may have to be an outside cat for good. Just to keep the stress in the home down.

I didn't notice your location when I suggested a cat enclosure but I see it is Florida, which means pretty mild winters so you won't have to worry so much about cold nights. I am not sure where the thread is but there are some really clever enclosures that might just work for you. My sister has a cat that has been spayed since she was 6 months old and no matter the time of day or temperature, she wants to be outside. She does like to sleep inside at night, but first thing in the morning she is crying to go out. She even open the screens by herself to get out! Hopefully, some type of enclosure will do the trick and Puddins will be a happy boy!!

Perhaps you can build one of these (http://habitathaven.com/cat-enclosures.html) and make him an outdoor only cat.

Sounds like an outdoor enclosure is best. Puddin will not only have his wish to remain outside, he will be alone or at least no other cat will upset him. Your son can also visit him anytime. And of course, you will have no worries about his safety.

Those are nice enclosures..

Trying to keep puddins outside has been just as hard as it was trying to keep him inside. He has destroyed one of the screens outside my kitchen window, he also runs past us when we come in the door then hides under the couch. He hisses and bites when I try to get him out.

Its also down in the low 40s at night now, and I dont know if Im comfortable leaving him out. my shed is open and he has a bed in there, but he just howls outside our window and climbs the screens.

Plus my female cat is spraying everywhere because shes in heat. So shes been confined to the garage. I will have her checked for a UTI, but it does look like shes just doing it because she wants some dude cat action.

I wanna pull my hair out lol.

Thanks for your suggestions. I will work on things and see how they go...

Another poster mentioned a "cat psychologist." We have a vet here locally who specializes in behavior issues, but I realize that's not common. However, you might ask your vet about an animal behaviorist.

I had a minor problem with my boy and got a lot of advice from the kind people on this forum and from my reading, but nothing was effective. But a brief consultation with our vet behaviorist provided a solution.

What I learned from this is that we can--with all the good intentions in the world--do exactly the WRONG things when we don't fully understand the animal's issues. It really helps to see a behaviorist, and if you can find one who is also a vet, that's best because that person will deal with both physical and psychic issues.

Originally Posted by Shortpotato

Plus my female cat is spraying everywhere because shes in heat.

Click to expand...

Things will get better if all your cats are fixed.

Hmm I was about to say feliway, but I guess you already tried that. Sounds more like a history problem. Find out from your veterinarian maybe?