TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Humor as Attractive
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Humor as Attractive

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
I'm writing a paper for school about humor and mate selection. I've found a lot of interesting information on what people find attractive in a mate and humor is something that has very little research done. Some studies say humor doesn't matter, granted they are older articles, but I really think humor is something we see as very important. I know when I'm looking for a mate I'm look for someone with a sense of humor!

So my question is, when you are looking for a partner, do you look for someone that has a sense of humor? Would you rank humor in the top five qualities you are looking for?


I wish we could have more poll questions, but if you would take the time to explain your answer and list your top five qualities you look for in a partner that would be awesome!!! Also state whether you are male or female, it's a huge part of my paper, because men and women see humor very differently when looking for a partner!

I would like to include the poll results in my paper, and I might PM people I want to hear more from and maybe include their thoughts in my paper.



Here's an example of what I'm talking about for the top five:

I look for a man/women that is:
funny
intelligent
outgoing
has a good job (makes a good living)
caring


Thanks!!!
post #2 of 25
Humor is incredibly important! Life sometimes gets way too serious, and humor is definitely a relief valve. My hubby's got one of the best senses of humor out of anyone I've been with.

Humor is probably tied with intelligence on my top 5; caring, patient, trustworthy and secure would round it out for me.
post #3 of 25
Humor is very important, but I'll add the caveat that he has to have a similar sense of humor as mine. I'm a fan of sarcastic humor and hate slapstick. Not all humor is equal.
post #4 of 25
My first three would be honesty, compassion and sense of humor.
post #5 of 25
Thread Starter 
Awesome thanks everyone who joined in so far!!! Something I have found very interesting in my search is that men and women see humor very differently.


Men want women who laugh at their jokes while women want men who make them laugh.


What is your take on that? Do you agree. Women, could you date a guy that found you hilarious, but he didn't make you laugh? And on the flip side, men, could you date a woman that was hilarious, but she didn't find your jokes funny?
post #6 of 25
I'll agree with Momofmany that a man has to have a sense of humor that's like mine, otherwise it's difficult to find one another funny. Since we both find the same things funny, my hubby and I find it pretty easy to make each other laugh.

I've dated people who, while they were funny, didn't quite get my sense of humor; it just made things awkward.
post #7 of 25
Hmm, well I think humor is extremely important, life is hard enough!

I am funnier than my husband though, and he knows it although he thinks he's funny
post #8 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bella713 View Post
Hmm, well I think humor is extremely important, life is hard enough!

I am funnier than my husband though, and he knows it although he thinks he's funny
Do you still laugh at his jokes? Even when they aren't funny?
post #9 of 25
Humor is very important!!who wants to be with someone that is unable to laugh at themselves sometimes!taking things serious all the times makes for a very tense relationship!!
post #10 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnzoLeya View Post
Do you still laugh at his jokes? Even when they aren't funny?
Well yeah I'm a pretty easy laugh
post #11 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momofmany View Post
Humor is very important, but I'll add the caveat that he has to have a similar sense of humor as mine. I'm a fan of sarcastic humor and hate slapstick. Not all humor is equal.
I agree, exactly!
Humor is very important to me. I love to laugh at and to be laughed at, it goes both ways. Sometimes, with me though, I dont take things serious enough because Im always trying to find the humor.

My list would be .....
Character .... a man who does the "right thing" no matter what is important.
Intelligence ....
Secure .... within himself and financially.
and a big nose would be a plus
and of course humor.
post #12 of 25
Thread Starter 
you guys are hilarious! I can't wait to hear more!
post #13 of 25
Oh, humor, DEFINITELY! And someone who can see the same kinds of absurdities in life that I do.

My current boyfriend is like that. I thought he was cute, smart and funny when I met him; I still do.

But he also has character (and IS a character)
He's got intellectual curiosity - always wants to know why, etc.

And he loves kitties!!!
post #14 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
Oh, humor, DEFINITELY! And someone who can see the same kinds of absurdities in life that I do.

My current boyfriend is like that. I thought he was cute, smart and funny when I met him; I still do.

But he also has character (and IS a character)
He's got intellectual curiosity - always wants to know why, etc.

And he loves kitties!!!
Awww that sounds perfect
post #15 of 25
Laughter is the best medicine.

Yes, humour is really important. It's important, too, that a couple find similar things funny -- but that's really a part of generally "being on the same page". That's probably number one.

I also want compassion, intelligence, honesty, and similar interests.

I'm not sure what order they come in. In fact, it probably changes with circumstances.

No guy would last long in my life if he couldn't at least respect my kitties, but preferably be just as besotted as I.

Fortunately, DH is all of these things.
post #16 of 25
I did not have sense of humor up there on my list when looking for a boyfriend or a hubby. I put intelligence at the top of my list because I am smart (not to sound conceited, but I am very smart). I also looked for someone who would be a good father. I know that may sound strange, but there you go.

Then there is the physical attraction. I wanted a spouse that would find me as attractive as I found him. And I found him.

Bottom line is that I wanted someone that I could love all my life and who would love me. DH wins on all accounts, which may be why we've been married 26.
post #17 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnzoLeya View Post
What is your take on that? Do you agree. Women, could you date a guy that found you hilarious, but he didn't make you laugh? And on the flip side, men, could you date a woman that was hilarious, but she didn't find your jokes funny?
I would say no. My boyfriend finds me funny, and in general I'm flattered when men laugh at my jokes. But, my guy has to make me laugh occasionally as well, otherwise something is wrong. I think having similar senses of humor shows that you think the same way (maybe not about everything, but it shows you're generally on the same wavelength, ya know?).

My top five would be: humor, musical/artistic interests, being caring/affectionate, similar sense of values (what we think is important in life), and morality/character.
post #18 of 25
When I meet a prospective mate, here are the criteria I use.

1. Attractive- I'm not going to fib... before I know what a great guy he is, I only know how good he looks! He doesn't have to be "traditionally handsome"... he just has to be what *I* like. I like "manly" men... so body hair is a plus. Come love me, mister bear!

2. Intelligent- I'd like someone with sound reasoning and excellent problem solving skills. I like if I can learn from my mate. You know what's sexy to me? A man who can tell me how to code the maths so that I can process and interpret data.

3. Funny- I'm quirky, and say off-the-wall things. I think I'm funny, but most people probably just think I'm somewhat crazy. I would like a mate who understands and appreciates my jokes. Laughing is like... my favorite verb. Almost. If we can do it together, that's much better. So he has to be funny too. We have to be funny in the same way, or it won't really work out.

4. Honest- All of my relationships are based on this. Maybe I'm kind of old fashioned... or maybe I'm just not good at lying. I don't want to be with someone who lies to me, or steals from me. I'm much too busy to let someone like that in my life. I don't have that kind of time. (Who does?)

5. Caring- He has to love animals. My cat is my child, and I'm looking for "my baby's daddy." I know of a couple, married, who have a dog. She went to visit her family while he stayed behind, and he refused to care for their dog! That, to me, is unacceptable. I put this one last because, only after the first 4 criteria are met, will he be allowed into the lives of my pets.
post #19 of 25
I love all of yours!! very good.

Even the "come love me mister bear"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Going Nova View Post
When I meet a prospective mate, here are the criteria I use.

1. Attractive- I'm not going to fib... before I know what a great guy he is, I only know how good he looks! He doesn't have to be "traditionally handsome"... he just has to be what *I* like. I like "manly" men... so body hair is a plus. Come love me, mister bear!

2. Intelligent- I'd like someone with sound reasoning and excellent problem solving skills. I like if I can learn from my mate. You know what's sexy to me? A man who can tell me how to code the maths so that I can process and interpret data.

3. Funny- I'm quirky, and say off-the-wall things. I think I'm funny, but most people probably just think I'm somewhat crazy. I would like a mate who understands and appreciates my jokes. Laughing is like... my favorite verb. Almost. If we can do it together, that's much better. So he has to be funny too. We have to be funny in the same way, or it won't really work out.

4. Honest- All of my relationships are based on this. Maybe I'm kind of old fashioned... or maybe I'm just not good at lying. I don't want to be with someone who lies to me, or steals from me. I'm much too busy to let someone like that in my life. I don't have that kind of time. (Who does?)

5. Caring- He has to love animals. My cat is my child, and I'm looking for "my baby's daddy." I know of a couple, married, who have a dog. She went to visit her family while he stayed behind, and he refused to care for their dog! That, to me, is unacceptable. I put this one last because, only after the first 4 criteria are met, will he be allowed into the lives of my pets.
post #20 of 25
Humor is extremely important, but for some reason, my hubby and I do not understand each other's sense of humor most of the time. There are times when we make each other laugh, but we have very different senses of humor. I like British humor (Monty Python, etc) which he doesn't understand all the sarcasm and dryness. He likes Seinfeld (I just don't understand that show...I don't get why he thinks it is funny. To me, it is just irritating).

Some of the most important things in our relationship are:
We learn from each other
We are different yet we strive to bring out the best in each other
We have similiar views on money and spending (it is more important than most people might think)
We see each other as human beings who have attractive and unattractive moments
We have similiar values
We both have senses of humor even though they might be different
post #21 of 25
Having a sense of humor is sooo important! I think in general one has to have a sense of humor to be healthy, life isn't a simple "walk in the park"......
post #22 of 25
hmmm..... ok, my top five would be:
Christian
intelligent
sense of humor
gainfully employed
loves music [bonus if able to produce music!]
post #23 of 25
I voted yes, but I don't think I've ever actually listed out the qualities I looked for in choosing my husband. At least not in a certain order. I know my number 1 is absolutely that he must share my Faith in Christ. I would never have dated a guy who didn't. After that, he had to be a man of Integrity. To me that would mean being someone who keeps their word and is responsible. Also having a calm personality meant a lot to me. I guess humor is tied in with that some. DH and I do have similar senses of humor and we have a good time together, but overall he is the calm to my turbulent emotions....to say the least. DH isn't perfect, but he's definitely my match. I enjoy living my life with him. I'm really proud of him.
post #24 of 25
I actually made a list years ago. It was something like this.

respect
love
consideration/kindness
humor
more intelligent than me
can keep a commitment
wants the same things in life
integrity

In that order.
post #25 of 25
Humor is important to me, I can be too serious and I like a guy that can make me lighten up

Other traits I look for are:
tolerance- I won't date a person who looks down on anyone for any reason. Many times someone I've dated has made an off hand comment and that's the end
intelligence- not someone who can necessarily expalin the theory of relativity, but someone who can think critically. I'm a bit lacking in common sense so someone who has common sense serves as a balance
introverted- I'm not a social person and don't like to be dragged to parties and the like where I just sit in a corner people-watching. My ex was a very people-oriented person and I went along and never really had fun
honest- I want someone who will be true to me and another side to honesty is being able to tell me when something is wrong, I'd rather have my feelings hurt now than later if that makes sense (also something I dealt with with my ex)

another thing that is important to me is chemistry, I wouldn't say I have a particular "type" (mr bear ) but there has to be some sort of physical connection, that is something that just cannot be faked
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Humor as Attractive