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So Disappointed In A Friend

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
I had coffee last Friday morning with a friend. I knew she was having money problems and that she loves Starbucks, so I surprised her with a $20 Starbucks gift card. It made her happy which made me happy.

We started talking about new movies that are out on DVD, and when she found out that we had just bought a particular one, she asked if she could borrow it to watch Friday night. I was a little hesitant since we were going to watch it over the weekend, but she assured me she would bring it back on Saturday.

Saturday came and went without a phone call or visit, so I called her on Sunday. She said she was called into work and couldn't bring it until Tuesday night - she assured me that she'd come between 6:00-6:30 p.m. Tuesday to bring it by. I offered to pick it up at her place but she said she was at work so that wasn't possible, and assured me she would bring it Tuesday.

Here it is Wednesday morning. I haven't heard from her since I called Sunday. I'm ready to let her have the stupid thing just so I don't have to see her or talk to her again.

It's very sad when a kindness is repaid like this. It makes you want to stop being nice to people.
post #2 of 19
Sorry that your friend didn't follow through

She probably doesn't think it's such a big deal and "it's just a movie". Some people can be thoughtless like that, but that doesn't make them a bad person.

In the future I would suggest not lending her anything that you have your heart set on getting back in a timely manner.
post #3 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
Sorry that your friend didn't follow through

She probably doesn't think it's such a big deal and "it's just a movie". Some people can be thoughtless like that, but that doesn't make them a bad person.

In the future I would suggest not lending her anything that you have your heart set on getting back in a timely manner.
Some people don't get it. It obviously isn't important to her.
post #4 of 19
That is a disappointment. I'm sorry your friend let you down.
post #5 of 19
I'm sorry your friend let you down Been there, had that happen to us too. Sometimes its just better if they take that "something" (movie, $25, etc) and disappear from your life.
post #6 of 19
Thread Starter 
It's Saturday morning and still... nothing.

I'm going to call her and make sure she's not in the hospital or something, and then I'm going to have to drop it.

It will be a few weekends before my family and I are all here to watch a movie together, and I guess we will have to buy another one then.

Thanks for the support and advice!
post #7 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
It's very sad when a kindness is repaid like this. It makes you want to stop being nice to people.
.....I know how do you feel....

I tryed always to be nice with a couple of people but they always want that I search for they.......I stop it to seach for they and I live more happy!....



(furthermore I has TCS!....)
post #8 of 19
Sorry your friend didn't follow-up on returning your movie. It makes you hesitate to be generous and nice to people when you get treated badly by even one.
post #9 of 19
Well, you knew your friend is having money problems because you bought her Starbucks. If you lent her the movie, she may just have thought that you were giving it to her like you were buying her the mocha. Maybe she lent it to others who are having money problems as well or maybe she wants to give it a gift. I think that you might want consider these issues.
post #10 of 19
I know how diassapointed you must be. If your friend is having money problems maybe she is having other problems as well and may be so stressed or depressed that getting the movie back is the last thing on her mind. don't give up yet, it might not be what it seems. Maybe you could just stop by without asking, then she wouldn't have any excuse to not get it to you.
post #11 of 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by twokatz View Post
I know how diassapointed you must be. If your friend is having money problems maybe she is having other problems as well and may be so stressed or depressed that getting the movie back is the last thing on her mind. don't give up yet, it might not be what it seems. Maybe you could just stop by without asking, then she wouldn't have any excuse to not get it to you.
or maybe she just cannot afford the gas to get anywhere that is not necessary. I think there may be an underlying factor and maybe you should try talking to her.
post #12 of 19
I know this will make me sound selfish, but I don't lend things to people---and this thread shows just the reason why I don't. While that book or movie or cd might not mean anything to the other person, it obviously does to me or I wouldn't have it to begin with.
It would be a shame to let something like this shatter your friendship. I might stretch the truth a bit---call your friend and tell her you'll be over to pick up your movie because you want to watch it tonight. Then go get it.
I do wish you good luck with this situation; hopefully you and your friend will still BE friends.
post #13 of 19
That is really frustrating! I try to only lend things to others if I can deal with losing or having to replace it, it is what experience has taught me.
post #14 of 19
I stopped lending out DVD's a few years ago when I discovered the family members I was giving them to either ruined them with scratches or sold them on thinking I wouldn't notice!

This reminds me of the time my mum lent out her playstation game to my elder sister once, and she had it for an entire year...mum asked her one day if she could have it back to which my sister replied "I no longer have it."
We found out the next day that it had been sold on, and all my sister could say was that she thought the game was of no use to mum any more as she had completed it once already...
post #15 of 19
It irks me when people don't follow the simple rules of lending! My sister was one of those people who will hold onto something for weeks & think nothing of it.
When a movie or music is borrowed, a person should watch it as soon as possible, like that night or the next, & return it promptly! If they can't do that they shouldn't borrow the movie.
I rarely lend out movies & when I do they get a sermon about the proper handling of a disc!
As far as this girl goes, she doesn't sound trustworthy...show up at her house & ask for your movie back.
post #16 of 19
I try not to lend anything that I would miss...that goes for money and anything else.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but something I read in the Bible is usually right when it comes to lending. The gist of it is - If a person can be trusted with little, they can also be trusted with much. If a person cannot be trusted with little, they cannot be trusted with much.
post #17 of 19
You can't just give up on getting it back! Keep calling, its YOUR movie!
post #18 of 19
I will admit, I'm one of the inconsiderate people that takes forever to return an item. It's not that I'm purposely holding on to it, I just am very forgetful. Of course, if a person calls and asks for it back, I will return it asap. It does sound like your friend was working a lot, and if she is in a financial bind working probably was a priority rather than returning the movie. I know its frustrating but I don't think I would let it ruin a friendship.

Heck, I lent "The Lion King" (one of my favorite disney movies) to my best friend 10 years ago. Her son was 2 and fell in love with it and had to watch it every day. I didn't really sweat it. It's just a movie. And her friendship means more to me than something that costs $20.00.
post #19 of 19
You sound like the type of person anyone should be lucky to have as a friend. A better friend to her than she is to you. But if your friendship with her means a lot to you, maybe you should just write off the loss of the DVD and just never loan her anything again? I lost a good friend over a sweater one time and I've always regretted it. Looking back, I wish I would have just bought myself a new sweater, because I still miss our friendship. I hope it works out for you whatever you decide.
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