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Bringing death up to a child..

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
I had to go up to the boys school today for an unrelated reason to this. While I was talking with my son's teacher I stepped outside to talk to a counselor. Well one of the teacher's pulled me aside to have a talk to me. Apparently the boys Sunday school and church teacher passed away last night. She was not an older lady, apparently it had something to do with her diabetes. They were call to this lady and she really took them under her wing at the church. I asked the teacher not to bring it up at school to them that I would have this talk at home with them. I just don't really know how to have this conversation tho. I have talked to the kids about sex, the spay/neuter of our cats but I have no idea how to have this type of talk.

Any advice or tips? The boys are age 8, 7 and 5.
post #2 of 4
This may help.
I was 6 when my grandma died andI was told she was in heaven and to look at the stars because she is on one of them.
I was also she could still see us.
It helped me so maybe it can help yours sons.
My sister had tell her her 3 sons their grandpa died last year.
Her sons were 3,6 and 12.
The one kid kept saying grandpa was on the ceiling but it helped.
I hope your kids will be ok.
post #3 of 4
post #4 of 4
We have had several close family members pass away over the last 5 years: my mother's brother died of melanoma at age 59, my husband's mother of ovarian cancer, and my husband's sister died of lymphoma at age 42.

I have 5 kids, aged 5-17; kids know and understand more than what we give them credit for. We let our kids visit our family at the funeral home and say their goodbyes and explained to them they went to a higher place and would watch over us.

Some things that we have done that I think the kids have enjoyed were writing messages and sending them to heaven on a balloon. We also will visit their graves and they help me garden or leave special things.

Whenever my youngest son sees a cemetery he will tell us that is where "Nannie" lives.

When my mother-in-law passed away last year I often wondered if the boys understood what really happened to her. Several months ago my son was sitting on my lap and we were watching cartoons. He was fiddling with his port (a small device placed under his skin where he receives his chemotherapy) and out of nowhere he looks up to me and says, "Gramma had a port." To which I agreed. Then he floored me and said, "Gramma had a port and she died, does that mean I will die too?" I wasnt expecting that and definitely was not prepared to answer it. I simply told him that the doctors and his father and I were doing all we could to protect him and make sure he was with us as long as he could be.

I'm sorry for your sons' loss. I hope you find what works for them and wish you strength in your discussion.
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