Fighting amongst my Children

Well for the past few months my boy Bruce has started to really torment my girl Lilu to the point she fears him and stays hidden. Just a few days ago we took her to the Vet because she was acting funny and her face was swollen. Turned out it was from an infected scratch above her eye which most likely came from Bruce. Both of them are very attached to me and my wife feels they are fighting over me.

My wife feels that we should swap him with another cat, Kayla(which lives with my Mom) to solve the problem, but bringing in a new cat to our clan of 7 I would think would make things worse, plus not fair to Kayla. Bruce I wouldnt be too worried about as he use to live with my Mom and also Milla is there, which he grew up with. Although I hate to see my fatso go.

This has happened before, first it was with Milla, she was always being bullied by my wife's cat Junior, so I ended up giving her to my Mom. Junior soon became the bully of the house for a while till Oscar got big enough to push back. The add Lilu to the mix and Junior became the bullied, so he ended up going with my Mother-in-Law along with Ivy to keep him company.

Now I have just read the Pinned Threads in this area so I will try some of thoose things out, and stop with the water sprays. Im also going to try to buy some Feliway to see if it helps. In my opinion its stress brought on my the kittens we are fostering and the fact the Im not home as much, also the space, and Ive noticed they dont like a messy house.

Was just wondering if anybody has had some kind of similiar problem?

Your cats are fixed?

I have 11 cats. Bullying is normal in establishing the pecking order. In my case, I let them settle it among themselves. Cats love a quiet and peaceful home.

Yayi, please let me know what you do to get 11 cats to get along, I envy you. I am having the hardest time getting my group of 4-3 house cats and a former feral who is very sweet now- to accept a stray I rescued in August. He is about 2 and part Persian. He was not neutered, but now he is. I just love him and don't want to give him up. I have kept him separated from my group but I have been bringing him in with them for a few hours each day. My cats growl and hiss at him and things would be fine if he would just leave them alone. He then chases them and usually there is fur flying-no blood shed or injuries-but it is very stressful for me. I wish they could all get along peacefully. I admire so much multi cat households where there are no problems and wonder what I am doing wrong. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I could keep him separate from the others if necessary but it would be nice for them all to get along. They are all fine with one another except for the occasional outburst between the oldest female and the former feral-who will usually just hide under a chair until the coast is clear.

Well as of late Bruce seems to have started to understand to leave her alone, over the past 4 days he only went afer her once. That one time, he caught her off guard so he got a few hits on her butt. Also they are all fixed, except for Jenna and the kittens.

KRZ, it will take some time. Ive introduced a lot of my kids like you have. It also depends on the cat you are introducing, if they have a strong personality they will over run the house. If he is shy it will take a bit longer and might be bullied for a bit. It should work out after a while.

Its impossible when you try combining cats raised by 2 different people.

Thanks for the encouragement!! I sure do love my group and want to keep peace and harmony in the house. This new guy is so sweet and loves attention, I don't think he is aggressive in nature, but when the others want to be left alone that is when chasing and inevitably fighting starts. I hate to keep him in one bedroom, although he has 2 large windows to look out of and plenty of places to sleep and it sure beats living outside as he and his littermates were dumped off at my husband's office. He is about a year and a half old and was neutered in August. I will do anything for my cats and will continue to keep on trying for a peaceful co-existence for all of them.

I do know of a couple who brought 2 cats each into a marriage and then got a fifth one together and they are all fine with one another, but that is a very rare happening as you said.

Good luck to you too!!

I have 9 cats and I also let them work it out among themselves, I do have one that is bullied by nearly all of them Lele. She is the smallest and very scared of everything. If she finds a spot that she feels comfortable in and away from the others then I'll let her just stay there, I'll put a blanket down where she can feel safe and comfortable, sometimes she brings it on herself because before the other cats are even bothering her, she'll start spitting at them and that just starts them off.

I have also heard just to let them work it out, but I have a couple questions. How far do you let it go? How often do you allow outbursts? I can take the hissing, screaming, it is just the fear that one will be hurt badly by another. I don't think my new one is aggressive, he just started off in a bad way and the resident cats just won't forget it. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Originally Posted by EviL DeaD

Its impossible when you try combining cats raised by 2 different people.

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Actually it is not impossible. Maybe more difficult but as long as you have the patience and understanding of cat behavior, things work out.
5 of my 11 were raised by me, 3 were strays, one of the remaining 3 came from a one cat household, the other 2 from multi-cat homes. I don't know how other cat owners handle cat disputes but this is how I do it. A violent cat fight (fur flying, biting, blood, urination) has warnings. One of the obvious signs is when the aggressor won't stop and the victim decides he's had enough of the bullying. After some loud meowing, growling, hissing, furs all puffed up, circling each other, teeth bared, there's contact. Before this happens, step in. Avoid shouting, keep calm and be firm when you say NO. Keep an eye on the aggressor and if he still insists, take him for a time out.

Thanks, I will keep trying. Do you still think it is wise to keep supervised visits? I have kept my new stray in a separate bedroom, especially at night. I have the patience and am willing to put in as much time is necessary.