Is this Anxiety/depression

Okay I have been going through depression actually for a long time now and I have been having physical problems lately from it like my chest hurting and being so nervous that I am shaking and I don't know why and I can't shake it.
And my sister was rescently diagnosed with anxiety problems and I am wondering if due to our family history it could be genetic or it could be that we both had a crazy childhood and because we lived with a man who as much as he loved us is detached, we never learned how to express our true emotions. We both just buried our emotions and now I do not know how to express my feelings all of the time.

Well now with the problems from it I am noticing that I never seem to have enough sleep now part of that might be due to the hours I work but like tuesday was my day off and I feel asleep about 11 am or so and slept till the next morning off and on. I stay in bed for long periods of time although I don't always sleep well. And I either don't eat enough or I eat too much and I can't seem to control how I feel.

It affects me dating as well I don't ever let myself be fully happy with someone. I guess I feel like if I let myself be happy then someone will pull the rug out from under me. I am never quite sure that I should be happy. I don't know why I think like that because deep down I know I am a good person. But I guess I feel like if I let myself be happy then I am being selfish.

Sorry this was so long I just need some outside help and I can't afford a doctor.

I really feel for you that you can't afford a doctor and therefore have to go through this alone. I am not a doctor but I too have suffered from depression and anxiety. What you are describing sounds to me like panic attacks. These can be common in people who have anxiety. Panic attacks can be what you describe, chest pains, shaking, shortness of breath. Some can be quite severe where the sufferer feels as though they might die, they won't from a panic attack. I used to have terrible panic attacks, I would be on the floor unable to breath. If you have a bad one, breathing in and out of a brown paper bag helps, as you breath less oxygen into your body, basically, it stops you hyperventilating.
If you don't mind me saying, you do sound like you could benefit from seeing a doctor. Is there anyway you could get help financially to do this? It must be very hard for you to deal with all of these felings and emotions alone.

Thank you for listening it really does help to have someone understand. I do wonder if this could be inheritted or if it could be a symptom of a bigger problem. I have to wait for my insurrance to take effect and hope it covers mental health.

I had a difficult childhood too. Therapy taught me a better way of dealing with my emotions as I too struggled and expressed them in many different ways, sometimes to the extreme! I have found that therapy and meds have helped. Another suggestion that my therapist gave me was to do things that needed hand eye coordination, things like sewing, knitting, computer games, painting, writing etc. This then works as a calming tool and it also helps you to focus. Depression has also been linked to perfectionism, for example, 'i won't do that because I won't be any good at it', therefore you end up doing nothing. Try and set small achievable goals. Don't put a huge amount of preesure on yourself to do something that you may not realistically achieve and then berate yourself for afterwards. Do little things that you enjoy, like say, go for a twenty minute walk, don't think about it too much, just do it. You are just as good as anyone else and of course you deserve to be happy. There are many many people who feel or have felt the same way as you, so don't worry. Everyone can relate to some of the things that you are feeling and empathise too with how hard it can be at times.

It does sound like panic attacks. I started getting them when DH was deployed a couple months after we got married. I've learned that I can calm myself down from one by taking slow deep breaths and just focusing on my breathing.

As far as the sleeping a lot, that can be a sign of depression. Make sure your eating well and exercising regularly is what I was always told. Just a short walk outside can do a lot to help your mood.

Thank you very much. I used to write t take my mind off of things and I would become lost in my writting but for some reason a few years ago I stopped and have never really started again. It did help though. I do have problems with trying things always afraid I might mess up. And with people I tend to bite my toungue always afraid I might say the wrong thing and sound stupid or maybe that people won't like me so I curve the real me alot.

I can be like that too, I fsometimes find myself berating myself, saying things like 'no you do it, your'e so much better than me'. I would say things like that all the time and I never even noticed!! Even avoid doing things as I thought I wouldn't be good at it and if I did do it I got so nervous that I couldn't really enjoy it!!! It is a vicious cycle really and it is often hard to find a way to change it, especially on your own, but its not impossible. Doing the little things first helps with the bigger things later. Its baby steps really, thats what i did. Your'e very brave to put yourself out there on here and to talk about it. I still find things hard but I can't really believe how bad it got for me to sort it out. I was very low. Small achievable goals is the key. For me it started by just getting out of bed in the morning, which at the time was hard. Then it was house hold chores, then we moved on. I gradually built myself back up again and even though I am not very confident and still have low self esteem, I am working on it. It is positive to do something, anything, however small. Just something that gives you that sense of achievement. You can learn to love yourself