NEED HELP! Just moved in, my cat and resident cat not getting along

Hi everyone! My lilac point Siamese cat Lily and I have recently moved in with my parents. Well, we moved in on September 15th. Lily has had many experiences with other cats, going to cat shows, visiting friends houses who had cats (including Katzyns 7 cat household and a breeder who has multiple cats), going to Petco/Petsmart. She has always handled other cats very well being passive about everything (slightly submissive if you want to call it that). We moved into my parents house who have a seal point Siamese named Star. Lily and Star have lived together before (for about 6 months) when Star was a kitten, they have been apart for about 2 years. Star refuses to get along with Lily.

I introduced them slowly at first. Only smelling each other from under the door. After 3-5 days of this (I dont remember exactly how long) I rubbed each cat with a sock to get their smell on it and gave each sock to the opposite cats. I did that 3 times a day for another few days. Then moved onto switching rooms. Lily was locked up in my bedroom and Star had the rest of the house. So when they switched Star went into my bedroom and Lily got to explore the rest of the house (which she loved! She loves exploring new places). After a couple days of that we oped my bedroom door to let them meet. Star immediately went into stalking mode, big huge eyes and starring at Lily and wouldnt leave her alone. Lily was nervous and moved as little as possible and when she did move it was very slow. We left them to themselves and later Star chased Lily around the house. The next incident Star attacked Lily, fur flying. I intervened and got bit on the leg. Since then 2 "accidents" occurred where Lily got out of the room and Star chased her around the house, both times I caught Star before she got to Lily.

Its been almost 2 months now since I got home, probably 1 month since any "accidents" have happened. The cats, everyday I bring them into a room in the house (with no beds to go under) for 10-30 minutes and monitor them. There has been little to no improvements, Star still manages to smack Lily almost every session. Lily is scared almost every session and has actually become aggressive toward Star occasionally (when Stars back is turned). I need help, I have tried so much, treats during our sessions dont work (well it does help Lily get more confidence). This is taking soo long! Any suggestions on moving it forward?? Anyone had experience with this?

I do not have pedigreed cats but it took 3 of my adult females a long time before they even tolerated each other. However, I avoided shouting at the cats during cat fights; used a chair to separate them; and lots of time outs for the aggressor. I also did the "alpha cat " moves - hissing, blowing on their faces when there was a potential dispute. You can ask your parents to help you since Star will listen to them more than you.

Well, we are still having problems. About a week ago Star attacked Lily again. Is it possible that Star will never accept another cat and allow her to live in the same house? Ugh, this is just so tiring that we have to be careful everyday to make sure these 2 cats arent ever out together.

I don't know if this will help your situation but this is what I did when introducing some feral cats to my cats.

I bought a $20 screen door at the home improvement store and put it up at the bedroom entrance. There are only 4 screws to attach it to the door frame. When you no longer need the door there are only tiny holes left that can easily be patched. I used a hook latch to keep the door closed.

This way they can see and smell each other without harm. And hiss at each other!

I sprayed Feliway around the screen door and left treats there. Feeding them a tastie canned food on opposite sides at the same time helped, too.

Playing with a wand toy on one side of the screen door usually brought the others close to investigate and forgot about hissing at each other.

The scared cat can build confidence because she is safe. You might switch cats on opposite sides so they can mingle in the others territory.

I hope this made sense. It really did help us. Hold on to your patience.

Wow its been so long since I checked this thread I didnt even see your post Skimble! They got in a fight just now because my dad let Star out of the cage while Lily was out Im about to give up so I came to check this thread, Im glad I did because Im going to try out your screen idea. $20 is nothing compared to the damage Im afraid they might do to each other.

The several times I've had to reintroduce my three cats I've used a screen door too and fed meals and treats on either side of the door to reinforce "happy" thoughts. Feliway diffusers are on all the time in my house; couldn't hurt!
Good luck!

Originally Posted by clpeters23

Feliway diffusers are on all the time in my house; couldn't hurt!
Good luck!

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I agree! I'm a big fan.

Hmm, Feliway, if only I could get that where I live without going online. I could look at the pet supply store but I doubt they have it. Maybe my sister in Colorado could get me some.

Originally Posted by sillylilykitty

Hmm, Feliway, if only I could get that where I live without going online. I could look at the pet supply store but I doubt they have it. Maybe my sister in Colorado could get me some.

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I get mine from www.petguys.com. They're cheap and they ship fast.

Originally Posted by clpeters23

I get mine from www.petguys.com. They're cheap and they ship fast.

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I will definatly be thinking about getting some of that. And I have to be careful about shipping costs, one of the downfalls of living in Hawaii.

I've always had good luck with Amazon, myself. Their prices are good, as well. I'm not sure what they'd charge for shipping.

If you want to pay airfare, I volunteer to come to Hawaii and help your kitties adjust!

An update for you guys. My other sister moved back home and added a 3rd cat to the mix. This seemed to get Star to appreciate Lily a little more. That was in March. Last week we brought home a puppy because we were ready for one and the cats didnt look like they would be getting much better anyway. Since the puppy got here the cats have all seemed to be getting along great, better then usual. No fights or chasing and all 3 have been out in the entire house together (while were here). Our dog (Luna) stays outside in the yard/porch and we bring her inside when we can. It's been a long journey and I know were not done yet, but Im happy with where we are right now.