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Would you get a male or female?

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
I had two cats- my 6 month old kitten passed away recently and suddently from FIP. My remaining cat Kara misses her buddy to play with and we really miss having 2 kitties. Kara is somewhere around 2 years old I think.

If we decided to get another cat in the next few months (the SPCA said we can have another cat for free) would you get a male or female?

Kara got along great with my male kitten- she hissed at him for 1 day and then they were fine. The kitten actually ended up being the more dominant one.

I'm just totally stressed about getting another kitten- I'm so scared it will die of something and I would be devastated. My fiance would prefer a kitten, though. I always thought intros went better with a kitten, but I read somewhere that adult cats can get annoyed by kittens so it's not the best scenario.

If I decide to get a cat around 1 year old do you think a male is better? or female? or does it even matter? For example, if I saw an adult female at the SPCA in a cage with other female cats, then she should hopefully be o.k. with Kara, right?
post #2 of 26
Females have a reputation for being more territorial. Males are usually more laid back.

I'm really sorry about your kitten, and I know just how bad that can feel. But getting another kitten from the shelter would save a life, maybe, and help your heart heal.

If you find a female kitten that you fall in love with, I wouldn't worry too much about the sex.
post #3 of 26
Thread Starter 
I think my finace would prefer a male-- I don't know why but I'm worried that an adult male might come with spraying issues... but I'm also scared to get a kitten...
post #4 of 26
An adult male might have spraying issues (almost certainly would, in fact), but that's why you get them neutered.

Usually a kitten is easier to integrate into a household with resident cats.
post #5 of 26
i'd get a youngish male [6 months-1.5 years] from a shelter that can tell you how he gets along w/other cats. he'll probably already be neutered at that age, as well as have his shots, etc.
i chose an adult the last time i intentionally acquired a cat - really preferred it to the kitten acquisitions. [i call them acquisitions because most of them were unintentional ]
post #6 of 26
I wouldn't focus on sex - but rather purr-sonality. I would lean towards 1 year old or so....mostly as many people overlook the "full grown kittens".
post #7 of 26
Do not go by sex go by how they act when you get there.
post #8 of 26
I would also go with a male kitten. If you're worried about spraying, and not sure about a kitten look between 6 months and a year old. If they've been at the shelter for any amount of time, the shelter employees/volunteers should know if there is an issue with spraying.
post #9 of 26
My sample size is probably too small to draw any conclusions, but my two little girl kitties have been the most stand-offish cats I've ever had. Both took (or are taking) incredible patience to win over.

For the most part, all of our fixed boy kitties have been little charmers.
post #10 of 26
I am so sorry for your loss.

Personally, I would opt for a male. I love cats of both genders and don't have a preference - we've been owned by both!! - but sometimes it is best if you don't have two of the same gender. I am sure that personality plays a huge part, probably more than gender. Some cats are very laid-back and some are highly energetic. If you can match their personalities - not easy to do with a kitten - that would be helpful. Also, if you decide to look elsewhere for a kitten, check out rescues and kittens that are being fostered. There are lots of them; you would be surprised. I am looking right now too. The foster families are great sources of information about their kittens' personalities and how they get along with other pets.
post #11 of 26
I'd go with a male. Also, don't worry about spraying. If they come from a shelter they should be neutered and okay about not spraying.

Also, age shouldn't be a probelm. Whomever you fall in love with! Look at all the cats available and you'll know which one to choose. I have a 9yr old with my 1 1/2 yr old and 4 yr old and he gets along great with them. In fact he wrestles more with the 1.5 yr old boy than the female does with both of them! They were instant buddies! So age isn't too much of a factor.

Can't wait to hear how things go. Getting used to a cat being gone is never easy but the joy you will get from seeing the other kitty play with a friend again will make it more bearable most days.
post #12 of 26
I really wouldn't expect anything based on gender. If I wanted to make sure to get a cat that gets along with other cats I would get one that has been with a foster who has cats and who can tell you about the temperament of the foster.

You might find this recent thread interesting:
post #13 of 26
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the replies!!
post #14 of 26
Female! But really I would pick on personality!
post #15 of 26
I'm going to put my vote in for a male cat as well. It's completely sexist, but I think boy cats are much more laid back, which is exactly what I'm looking for in a cat who's gonna be my buddy and partner in crime. This might also be a completely sexist comment, but I think girl cats meow and whine too much! *ducks and hides*

P.S. I live with two boy cats from the same litter. There's a lot of testosterone in this apartment, but we all get along great. No girls!
post #16 of 26
I know from the experiences of a friend of mine that neutering doesn't necessarily stop spraying. She had two cats, one a neutered male. She had big problems with his spraying. With the benefit of hindsight, I suspect it was her personality that was much of the problem, that she'd made him a bit neurotic. In addition, he was profoundly stupid and couldn't be allowed out on his own - he'd think himself lost if he roamed only a few yards onto next door's front lawn whereas her little female cat was up to sneaking through neighbours' cat flaps to steal food from their kitchens and never got lost!

I'm not looking for a cat at the moment. I don't think Thingy would respond well to competition and she's already bullied by a couple of the estate cats. Because she is so old, I have given some thought to what I'd do if and when she dies. Because she's converted me into a besotted cat owner, I'd definitely have another cat and I've given some thought to what I'd look for.

I'm not working at present but am looking to return to employment so any cat in my care needs to be happy out in the estate's gardens as Thingy is. On the other hand, I don't want a cat that is going to roam the streets. Having watched a documentary some years back about the natural behaviour of feral cats, I learnt that toms tend to have an extensive range and queens a far more limited range, a home range, if you will. Thingy has been content to limit herself to this gated estate - she never goes outside and I put that down mainly to her being female. Because any cat I take on will have to be able to get on with other cats on the estate plus the urban wild life, including the foxes which make themselves at home in our gardens, I wouldn't get a kitten. I'd be looking for a cat of about one year I think.

After those criteria are satisfied, I agree with those here who say that it's personality that counts so that's what I'd look to first but I suspect that my other criteria suggest a spayed female would be better for me and the conditions where I live.
post #17 of 26
i would go for personality when i went to pick a friend for flash all i had was photos (all i had to see when i was getting flash also) so i couldnt go for personality even though it shoe through on some of the photos but we ended up getting her a little male friend and it is surprising the calm effect they have on each other
post #18 of 26
Personality is more important to me than what sex a pet is. I've had 3 cats; Spooky was female, Snickers was male, and Harley is female.

I've had people tell me that male cats are more affectionate, but the two females I've had have been just as affectionate if not more so. They were just selective about who they were affectionate with!
post #19 of 26
I would go with personality, but males aren't more likely to spray - I have had over 70 cats in the past 6 years including fosters, and the only two who have sprayed have done it due to territorial issues, and one was made worse by the fact my neighbours cats (one male, one female) used to come in and spray. Even ones who have come in as unneutered adults haven't sprayed. Another neighbour has a female who will happily spray, but again, both females do it due to territorial reasons. The only other thing I would say is that due to the fact you have lost one to FIP, you need to wait at least 7 weeks, as that is how long the coronavirus can live in carpets, cat trees etc.
post #20 of 26
I prefer females and have had bad luck with ever male I had so far.
Frisky died from male blockage at age 1 and Bogart who was my brothers cat died from the same thing at age 2.5.
My Yoshi I lost at age 5 to kidney stones and they think dry fip.
Yoshi also peed all over my house no matter what we tried to do to stop him.
Now my sisters Midnight has is peeing all over her apartment and he keeps having male problems.
People told me males are nicer then females but there can never be a male nicer then Coco.
I am getting a new girl nexy month also.
I have had bitchy females before but they were calicos.
Mine always purr and love each other.
I would go see what cats like you and not by sex though.
My brother has both girls and boys but has to look them in seperate room.
The males fight so one is in the bedroom and one in the bathroom.
post #21 of 26
Originally Posted by mews2much View Post
People told me males are nicer then females but there can never be a male nicer then Coco.
Maybe it's in the name. My Coco is an absolute sweetie with tons of personality!

(But I agree with you about males, in my experience they are more likely to be trouble.)
post #22 of 26
I'd recommend a male. It has worked in the past for you and in my experience males are more social (as long as they are neutered as soon as possible.)
post #23 of 26
My Coco always has been very friendly and loving.
Meeko is very friendly also.
post #24 of 26
Originally Posted by mschauer View Post
(But I agree with you about males, in my experience they are more likely to be trouble.)
also in my experience
post #25 of 26
I agree with the posters who tell to go with the personality rather than nether region. I am all sold on males myself at the moment. A lot of my friends have had multi-girl households very succesfully and I used to have all girls myself, so I am not biased, I just think personally I don't want to break this pattern right now!

I was very nervous getting a third cat because I did not want to ruin the home for the existing two. I made sure I sat a long time with the next candidate at the shelter. I picked one who had a history of being with other cats, had all kinds of good 'ticks' on his evaluation sheet for personality and generally appeared mellow. I thought I owed it to the previously rescued cats at home - even though I felt somewhat bad being so picky with all those poor kitties there needing a home. I even asked the shelter worker to bring a totally unknown male cat (that's what I had home) on the other side of the cage while I was in with him, to see if he'd show signs of tension/aggression. I would say poor kitty because this was already a stressful situation with stranger (I), a lot of other kitties/adopters and hassle around him but he was cool with it.

I have been very happy even though I worried. We integrated a third adult male without too many hick-ups in a week. Somebody left a little pee next to litter box and food cup the first day, and that was all inappropriate marking behaviour that came out (and it was from resident fellow).
post #26 of 26
I had 2 males that I got as kittens and they got along great. They were both neutered but we still did have a spraying problem when they were younger. We couldn't figure out if it was one or both of them doing it. Once they were 5 or 6, that stopped. As far as personality, there were both very friendly. The male kitty I have now is also very friendly. I think it depends on the cat. When you go to pick out a cat, see which ones come up to you and want attention.
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