Introductions start tonight, any advice....

So we just got back from the clinic and Roxy was given a clean bill of health. All her test came back negative. She and Monkey were both given Advantage a few days ago and both were treated for tapeworm. Roxy definately had worms and we did Monkey just as a precaution. The vet agreed is was a good idea. Mainly because Roxy was in the house for a couple of weeks before she was given advantage so if any fleas got to Monkey she will be okay.

Any way since Roxy is healthy and ready to get let out of the bathroom we figured tonight was a good time to start letting them really meet. So far they have had a chance to see eachother under the door and play footsie. Monkey seems okay with Roxy. She hasn't hissed or acted upset about it. A little hurt that she now has to share us but we are giving her lots of love. We did let them see eachother for a few minutes today, I held Monkey and DH held Roxy. They just looked at eachother and then at us with this "now what" look. It seems like they should do okay.

What I am wondering is, whats the best way to go about the real intro? Should DH hold Roxy and I just let Monkey go up to her or should it be the other way around? Should we put Roxy in her carrier and let Monkey explore that way? I really don't want to do that because Roxy had to be in it for a few hours today and now looks at it and runs. If I have to I will but I don't want to stress her out more. Do we just open the bathroom door and let Roxy come out and just run into Monkey?

I just hope it goes well and noone gets hurt.

I would let Roxy stay in the bathroom and open the door. She feels safe there, I wouldn't put her in her carrier if it's now freaking her out, thats another hurdle to tackle for another day, you want both kitties comfortable as they can be. Let her explore on her terms, and let Monkey investigate this, of course with you and DH nearby to keep things civil.
Good luck on the intros!

Thank you for the advice. We did let Roxy out to explore a little. We locked Monkey in the bedroom and just let Roxy come out of the bathroom on her own. She seemed okay. She walked around the room talking to us and then went into the kitchen and checked everything out in there. We made sure to stay with her the whole time just to keep her from getting in any trouble. The only thing she did that has be slightly concerned was she went straight to Monkeys litter box and jumped right in. She didn't use it just stood in it sniffing. Could this pose as a problem for Monkey? After a few minutes of checking things out she just climbed up on the couch and layed down next to DH and just stared at him. She is daddies girl, just absolutly fixated on him. I think she loves him more. Thats a whole different story. I will say though he was the first person she let hold her before we trapped her to bring her home, thats how she won him over .

I don't think her jumping in Monkeys litterbox will pose a problem, but depends on how defensive she is about her potty. Roxy jumped in there to get a good sniff, (blech, lol) a good sign. You could put a little Roxy doody in there to see how Monkey reacts without the new kitty actually being caught in the act, so to speak.

I love that you both held each one to let them see each other. Also letting Roxy roam for a while with Monkey in the room is another good idea, as long as its temporary and Monkey doesn't feel punished. Keep giving Monkey support and encouragement while intro is going on. First couple of open intros should definitely be closely watched and if any tension for short periods of time. You will know when its all good

We decided to wait just a little bit before we let them realy meet. To day we held them again and this time let them sniff noses. It went so well. No one hissed of acted aggressive in any way. They both tried to touch eachothers heads but we did not let them do that only smell eachother. From the way they are acting I don't think we will have any major issues. I am sure we will have a few dominance issues, Monkey is a Tortie and Roxy is a Calico. Both are know as very dominant types of cats so we will see. All I know is it seems like we are in for years of fun and kittah kisses.

We are going to let Roxy roam a bit more with out Monkey in the room. Roxy is still having trouble figuring out where she is. She is still very jumpy but that is expected with a stray/feral that is only a baby. We did find out yesterday that she is about nine months old so we made her birthday Valentines Day. I will keep you guys updated on the progress and post pictures soon.

Edit: Ijust posted her picture here
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...89#post2460689

We have slowly started the intros. First we started by holding them both and letting them sniff eachother. Then DH held Roxy and we let Monkey just come out of the bedroom on her own. Monkey came out and sniffed Roxy and then went to eat and just walk around a bit. Today we put them both on the ground but still held on to them and just let them slowly walk up to eachother and sniff. Roxy seems more like the agressor in the situation. She is not aggressive but is very pushy. She just wanted to jump on Monkey and start playing. What worried me and stopped me from letting it happen was Monkey. She seemed almost afraid of Roxy. She just layed there looking at Roxy and then at me. So I had DH yank Roxy away and Monkey and I went into the bedroom. A few minutes later DH brought Roxy back in. Monkey was laying on the bed and just looked scared. She then went and hid behind the bed. During all this Roxy was doing her best to get out of DHs arms and just get to Monkey. Monkey and I stayed in the bedroom and DH and Roxy went out into the livingroom. They played under the door with eachother. Roxy kept making all sorts of chirping noises and shoving her pays under the door. Monkey just sat there and watched and would tap Roxys paws. Dh brought Roxy in one last time and she did actually jump out of his arms and landed on Monkey. Monkey just cowered. DH grabbed Roxy before anything could happen. Monkey did not hiss or retaliate and Roxy did not hiss or attack.

Roxy just wants to play with Monkey but Monkey is acting very scared of her. Are we doing everthing right? Now they are playing and watching eachother under the bathroom door and all seems fine. Roxy does seem to have the kitten crazies going on and is veery hyper right now. Should we wait untill later when she is kind of sleepy? I don't want to tramatize Monkey and I don't want either on of them to get hurt. When they do meet we both just keep talking to Monkey and letting her know we love her and she is being a good girl. Then we will talk to Roxy to let her now the same thing. We make sure to let both kitties know they are equal in this house.

Okay, Roxy just thew herself against the door and Monkey went bolting back to the bedroom. She is now sitting and just looking around the corner witht the look on her face and is slowly making her way back to the door.

I don't see any signs of serious aggression in either one. No hissing, puffed tail or stance. All I see is one little one who really wants to meet her new sister and play with her. And one big one who seems very afraid of the little one. The vet did tell us Roxy is 9 months old and she has not been spayed. Could this be part of the issues? I know we will have to deal with some domination issues. Would it be better to wait untill after the spay? Can Monkey tell Roxy is still in tact? Is Roxy trying to establish herself as the dominant female or is she just being overly exited?

I just want them to be friends. I know it will take a while and don't want to rush it but Roxy is starting to go stir crazy in the bathroom and Monkey is starting to get very scared.

Today was about the same except for one moment. We again tried holding Roxy and letting Monkey come to her. Roxy sniffed Monkeys ear and swated at her head, Monkey just ran and went behind the bed. I needed to get ready for work so DH took Roxy out and left me and Monkey in the bedroom. When I went to open the door Monkey saw Roxy and made a run for it. She slipped past me and went for it. As soon as we realized what had happened we both yelled at Monkey. The next thing I know is Monkey was running for dear life back in to the bedroom, her tail was huge and her back fur was standing straight up. Roxy climbed the blinds on the front door to get up and away. This all happened in a matter of seconds. DH pulled Roxy down and put her back in the bathroom and I locked Monkey back up. After everyone was in their rooms safe we went in to see Monkey. She was still all poofed out and her eyes were huge. DH picked her up and brought her out into the living room and just held her and told her she was okay but she needed to be a good Monkey. She calmed down, walked around the room and then went back to the bedroom. DH is now in the bathroom with Roxy who is just playing and acting like nothing happened.

I know we are going to have a confrontation when they do meet but what else can we do to not let them hurt eachother? How do we know when they are fully ready to meet? Do we just continue to let them play under the door and see eachother while we hold them? This is a lot harder than I could have ever imagained.

You guys be careful with all this holding while the cats size each other up. You don't want to get hurt by a freaked out kitty!

My guess is that you are going to have some chasing episodes the first day you put them together. We had our more dominant cat corner the smaller one all day. Just leave the little kitty's room open so it has a place to retreat. At one point, I thought our dominant kitty had cornered the newcomer under her safe-place bed. I looked and they were curled up sleeping next to each other.

There's a blurry line between kitty play and kitty aggression. In all likelihood, they'll work it out if left to their own devices.

I fear YOUR fear is rubbing off on Monkey. It's going to be fine.

There may be some hissing, some swatting etc. But they have to determine who is head of the house--you cant decide for them.

We tried a slow introduction and I quickly realized all my fear was making things worse. When I finally let go of my fear and just let things happen it all went much better.

It's now 6 months down the road and the boys are great. They aren't best friends by any means--I never expected it. Jack is very dependent on Hubby and I and was never around cats or anyone besides Hubby and I. He rules the house here and Harley knows that. Do I find them laying together occasionally? yes Do they play and run like crazy? yes Has anyone been hurt? No Is there occasional hissing? yes

Week by week the dynamics change and I see their relationship change for the better.

Leslie

I think you are doing well so far. But it's true that they are gonna have to work out who is the big boss. You'll know when its an all out cat fight because you won't be able to pick either of them up without a blanket of some sort.....its totally different from when they are just sizing each other up. Trust me! It's totally unmistakeable when they are really out to hurt each other.

I also think Monkey can probably pick up on your nervousness. Just let them be and he will either defend himself and be the big boss or his true nature of being submissive will come out. Either way it's okay. Seems like so far they are getting along really well. Playing under the door with each other is so cute!

Can you wait to do full intros till Roxy is spayed?? This may help. Although she is a Cali. Btw: she is absolutely GORGEOUS!

Enjoy getting to know her and watching Monkey and her develop a relationship. I have three and it is still fun watching them interact with each other.

Thank you so much guys.

I do think you are right that our fear is rubbing of on Monkey. She is very intune with us and how we feel. Roxy is still learning how to live with and around humans.

We talked about it and decided to wait untill after she is spayed to do the full intro. She goes in on the 13th so that gives us some more time to let her adjust and get use to living in a home. She is still very afraid of some things. If we move to fast twords her or open a door she goes running and finds the closest place to hide. We are giving her more time every day to be out in the house and explore and play. We spend a lot of time playing ball with her and helping her to understand she is safe and can just be a kitty and not have to worry. Its great to see her confidence build every time she comes out. She really likes to lay on the couch and watch tv, its like she is seeing a miracle.

Monkey seems like she is okay with everything, from what I can tell. She is eating and using her box normally. She still loves to cuddle us at night and has not shown one bit of aggression twords us. The only time she looked aggressive was when she slipped pass me and actually made contact with Roxy. I am still not sure if she was going after Roxy or if she got freaked out. As soon as it happened she ran back to the bedroom. Not a hiss was made so I guess thats a good thing. Today I was in laying on the bed cuddleing with Monkey and DH brought Roxy in. Monkey just layed with me and blew DH eye kisses. She seemed really happy and okay with DH holding Roxy and her being in the room. As soon as DH left though she decided she was done with me and looking under the door for Roxy was way more fun.

I hope all this means they are going to get along. Are cats smart enough to have devious plans? Is Monkey just acting nice untill she gets her chance to kill Roxy. Are they that smart? How long will it take for all the girly hormones to go away in Roxy after the spay? I know we will have to wait untill her incision in healed but will Mnokey be able to smell the change in her?

I think once she has healed from her spay it would be time for proper intros. Sounds like they are gonna be okay. I know you are concerned but I am sure it will go well. They both sound like such sweet kitties who are relatively laid back. Thats a good thing.