Originally Posted by JulieJerks
I used to be able to see us married and happy, but just lately I've been wondering if it was always just gonna stay like this. I really don't know. He called, and begged me to move back in just a few minutes ago, but I feel like I really need some space right now.
Since you talking to him and letting him beg, then you have some pull, more than you once had I guess. I think you guys need some help to learn how to talk to each other, to get some perspective, something like marriage or couples therapy, like you said you asked him to go but he has refused. He has refused in the past, perhaps now that he knows how important this is to you and his entire future with you, he will go.
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca
Good for you for recognizing a problem before you invested more of your life into the relationship.
Love just isn't enough to keep a relationship together, and just because you love someone doesn't mean you are meant to be partnered with that person for the rest of your life either. Sometimes personalities just don't mesh.
Clean breaks are the best. Anything else leaves room for more hurt.
I would suggest gathering your things and each going your own separate ways.
Just remember all of the bad stuff and why you left in the first place, if you ever consider trying to reconcile with him. So many women tend to forget the "bad" and cling to the good in the hopes things will always be good. That's not how things usually go.
I agree with Natalie_ca's post very much! It is good you are dealing with this now. And clean breaks are better once you make that decision to break up. It is better. But you are in the process of figuring out what you want since you are still talking to him and letting him get emotional, sounds like even if he won't go, talking to someone else in a professional setting will help you sort through some important emotions and give you another view, that you can benefit from right now. There is no reason you should have to live like you were, fighting all the time.
A quick story, my husband and I have some really great friends who dated for many years, I want to say 6 or so, and then got engaged since they had been together for so long. After they got engaged and sat the date their fights became worse and more frequent, and the added stress of the wedding and the forever ever after helped them make that decision to go their own ways.
to you! You are going through such a hard thing
Good vibes to you