HI- surprised to hear from me?? Guess what? I NEED advice

Hi! It has been quite a while I posted here! I moved from Maryland to Utah in May for a new job and have been very busy since then.

I am currently house hunting and am facing a situation that I need advice about.

One issue is that I have some debts that I need to pay off then I can qualify for a higher loan (I have GREAT credit). If I buy a home NOW with the loan I qualify for, most likely I'd have to settle for a 2 bedroom condo/townhouse. I really want a 2-3 bedroom condo/townhouse/home WITH unique features, a small patio/backyard and almost NO fixing up needed. If I want this, then I need to reduce my debts then qualify for a higher loan.

My dad just emailed me and my brother today and suggested the following - "Maybe the answer to our housing problem would be to have Pam move into our basement for a year, she can pay off her bills and save some money for her down payments. We would need to put a door on the stairs and may be put an outside entrance to the basement also. We would need boxing gloves for Kathy and Pam but it would give her a chance to get caught up. I could check with Jerry to see how much it would cost to put the walk-in for the basement while they are doing the other work."

Here's my concerns about this-
basement is pretty dark with only 3-4 windows. I know my cats LOVES to be near windows, bask in the sun, etc. with the basement, they won't be able to see out much..But on the other hand, most cats do like being in the dark. Right?? Would they be happy in a basement with little light and can't look out the windows at birds, etc?

My mom's allegric to cats/dogs and they already have 2 dogs and 2 cats of their own. She's okay if they don't get in her face. I'm afraid if move in with my 6 cats that it might make her allegries worse EVEN if I keep all cats in the basement ONLY...

I don't want my cats and their pets to mingle for two main reasons-
I KNOW their cats and my cats will fight.
They let their pets out ALL the time. My cats are indoor ONLY. I am TERRIFIED of my cats being accidently let out and I never find them again.
I don't trust my family with my cats unfortunately because they don't share the same views I have regarding cats (I consider my cats my BABIES).

I'd have to put most of my stuff in storage.

I'm afraid that my nephew who lives down the street will come downstairs and let cats out or mess around with my stuff. (He has down syndrome and have diabetes- I LOVE him dearly but he doesn't understand boundaries- he comes over and would take things without permission, find junk food hidden and pig out on them then my family would have to give him insulin shots to help, etc!!).

I KNOW if I add a lock on the door to downstairs, it WILL offend some family members but if I can't control who enters the basement, then I won't have peace of mind. I am extremely paranoid about my cats.

My dad's talking about adding an outside entrance to the house (they're adding a laundry room on main floor so mom won't have to go downstairs since she has BAD ankles) and wall off the stairway so that way my pets and their pets can stay separate (he knows how I feel about my cats)- my concern- is it really worth it for them to go through all the hassle and pay extra to do this just so I can move in for a couple months to save money??

I LOVE my parents dearly but my mom (kathy- that's why dad said get boxing gloves for Kathy and I because he KNOWS) and I will start fighting after a couple hours together guaranteed. Also, I don't have great communication with my family (long story) because they rarely talk directly to me. Most of the time, mom or sister would interpret the conversation for me but I rarely have an opportunity to be PART of the conversation. I have explained a zillion times how I feel about this but my family doesn't get it and they will never understand fully what I mean because they don't experience what I experience on a daily basis.

I have more concerns but I don't want to bore you guys with all!!

I just need a sounding board and would LOVE to hear from you your thoughts/suggestions regarding this!!

I told dad I really appreciated the offer and will think about it. I'm hoping that I can get some ideas/advice from you. If you feel I am making a mountain out of a molehill- tell me!!

Originally Posted by Pamela

I am currently house hunting and am facing a situation that I need advice about.

basement is pretty dark with only 3-4 windows. I know my cats LOVES to be near windows, bask in the sun, etc. with the basement, they won't be able to see out much.

I'm afraid if move in with my 6 cats that it might make her allegries worse EVEN if I keep all cats in the basement ONLY...

I don't want my cats and their pets to mingle for two main reasons-
I KNOW their cats and my cats will fight.
They let their pets out ALL the time. My cats are indoor ONLY.

I'm afraid that my nephew who lives down the street will come downstairs and let cats out or mess around with my stuff. (He has down syndrome and have diabetes.

I KNOW if I add a lock on the door to downstairs, it WILL offend some family members but if I can't control who enters the basement, then I won't have peace of mind. I am extremely paranoid about my cats.

my concern- is it really worth it for them to go through all the hassle and pay extra to do this just so I can move in for a couple months to save money??

I LOVE my parents dearly but my mom (kathy- that's why dad said get boxing gloves for Kathy and I because he KNOWS) and I will start fighting after a couple hours together guaranteed. Also, I don't have great communication with my family (long story) because they rarely talk directly to me.

I have more concerns but I don't want to bore you guys with all!!

If you feel I am making a mountain out of a molehill- tell me!!

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Welcome back! First, you aren't going to bore anyone. You can keep going. This is just the tip of the iceburg isn't it? You are not making a mountain out a mole hill. Better to get everything on the table instead of just crossing fingers and toes and hoping it will go great you know?
I want to say this has just been in my personal experience from watching others, but " a couple of months" usually turns into longer for various reasons.
I think you would need a lock, that is mandatory, who exactly would this offend? Talk to that person. It seems reasonable to me that you have a lock and it not be a big deal, but all families and dynamics are different.
I am worried about your cats too, being cooped up in a basement and locked away from everyone. And if you know your cats will cause problems with your mom, and you and your mom don't get along in the first place, well, I can see this really causing stress for both you and your animals. And your family has way different values for something you deem VERY important, (treating your animals like your babies, keeping them inside) and this is going to cause a lot of conflict by nature between you and them and their comments and so on?
You know what they say, ~~~sometimes money costs too much!

Just throwing out ideas

I can only offer so much advice....my house is basement/in ground type. The only "nice" windows are in the office in the basement, otherwise the rest are pretty crummy. My cats are split - Twitch & Lily live upstairs - Dorian, Ophelia, Molly, & Eden/babies live downstairs. The light isn't the best, but they live.

Be careful with Condos/Townhouses.
We almost bought one before we bought our house and none took all my cats.
We asked and most only allowed 1 or 2 cats.
Even my vet was lied to by a real estate agent and had to back out of a condo.

Do you mind if I ask where in Utah your moving? (I'm in Woodscross myself, near SLC) If you want I can keep an eye open for what your looking for.

As far as what your asking, lol oh boy do I understand. I moved back up to northern Utah from southern Utah and I'm renting two rooms in the basement. My room mate (who is a friend of my grandmother) and I also have different views on cats, as I have gone on about on the this board (sorry guys). And I find myself in "my rooms" alot, to avoid getting into our "different views".

That said, it is a great offer given what the market is like right now. Would you be paying rent? Even if its just $20 a month, saying that you paying rent should help you to avoid the whole guilt trip thing (rather then come from you, or your parents).
You should know that if its a old basement with the old windows (which it sounds like) its not really a room. The new law is that the room must have a window that you can get out of in case of a fire.

Another thought that comes to mind is (if you have any friends like this) finding a friend or family member who is looking to rent, and have them give you the first 6 months of rent up front (or so) to buy the house, then giving them their part of the house for free for that amount of time, if that makes any sense.

I think that what it really comes down to is 1) can they afford it without breaking the bank? (can they still live comfortably and do this?) 2) can you talk to them about how you would need this to be your apartment and work out a monthly rate, even if it is a very small amount? and 3) How much of a chance do you have of finding a place for the money you have that you WANT? I strongly believe that if you are going to spend that much money on a place, it should be a place that you truly desire, even if that means you have to wait a bit. Of course there is always the chance of finding a place to rent and save up, but that would be hard with 6 cats...

I think of my basement and say to myself could the cats and I live there for an extended time. Not really. We have three windows-one east side so good morning sun and two on the north. Or I think of the house where I grew up-the basement was bigger more windows and would have been more tolerable.

Second-would your parents have a need to go into the basement when are are not there?
Would they treat it as your place and you could send the time there by outself??
How is the soundproofing??

I would get a lock for sure but make sure there was another person in the house with the keys? Esp if your nephew comes over quite a bit.

Have you done the hard math on how much you would really save?? You would pay some rent/utilities?? What about food costs?? Factor in the rental of the storage unit.
Will your work commute change??

My opinion, my own humble opinion, is for your own sanity don't do it. I think that you are already aware of how it could be if you live there. I just think, from what you have said that you would be miserable. It is very difficult for anyone to move 'back home' even if they get on with their parents. It is obviously very kind of them to do this for you and turning it down could be hard but it doesn't sound to me like you really want this at all. If you are not worrying about your cats being let out or fighting you are worrying about your relationship with your family which, from what you said, you find difficult at times anyway. Also, you don't sound very enthusiastic at all about the idea, I don't think I would be either. Also, if you don't mind me saying, with the economic climate the way it is, do you really want to go and get a bigger loan than you really need? If I was you, I would buy a two bedroomed town house/condo, and the money I save I would put towards paying of my debts. See how you get on and later when you are in a better situation and can manage the bills, find something bigger. Try not to bite off more than you can chew in my opinion, at the moment we don't know whats round the corner with all this credit crunch stuff. I think for your own sanity/peace of mind, get a cheaper house, don't get a massive loan, have your own space and not have to worry about family and look after your babies how you want to

Right now its very difficult to get any kind of loans. Even tho you'd like a better house, IMO its not wise to max out what you can qualify for in the loan. You have no lead way if something happens or you need to fix stuff on the house. Too many people go for the max they qualify for; and strap themselves into payments they really cannot afford in the long run.

With the economy you don't know if you will keep your job or what will happen. Its good to pay off as much debt as you can - but then do NOT go out and get more then you honestly can afford - stay in the middle of what you qualify for.

And right now houses are NOT appreciating - most are lower then what they were (value wise).

As far as your situation. I see more bad with it then good. You would have to have locks on the doors if you do this so you have control over who is in there and who is not. First I'd determine just how long you would have to live in the basement. If its no more then 6 months, then do it, but if you are uncertain, I would look for other options.

Originally Posted by cococat

Welcome back!

First, you aren't going to bore anyone.

You can keep going. This is just the tip of the iceburg isn't it? You are not making a mountain out a mole hill. Better to get everything on the table instead of just crossing fingers and toes and hoping it will go great you know?
I want to say this has just been in my personal experience from watching others, but " a couple of months" usually turns into longer for various reasons.
I think you would need a lock, that is mandatory, who exactly would this offend? Talk to that person. It seems reasonable to me that you have a lock and it not be a big deal, but all families and dynamics are different.
I am worried about your cats too, being cooped up in a basement and locked away from everyone. And if you know your cats will cause problems with your mom, and you and your mom don't get along in the first place, well, I can see this really causing stress for both you and your animals. And your family has way different values for something you deem VERY important, (treating your animals like your babies, keeping them inside) and this is going to cause a lot of conflict by nature between you and them and their comments and so on?
You know what they say, ~~~sometimes money costs too much!

Just throwing out ideas

Click to expand...

Thanks for the warm welcome back! The reason I said some family members may be offended is because many family members have lived in the basement at one time or another to save money. The last couples have not allowed anyone to come downstairs (everything downstairs belongs to my parents meaning tv, couches, etc) so my brother, sister in law AND I have complained to each other about that. I was involved with the complaining. It is also hard on families who have kids when they come over because the family room with the tv is downstairs. When people lives downstairs and do not allow anyone downstairs without permission then kids have to watch tv in my parents bedroom which is not very kid friendly.

I would be open to letting kids watch tv downstairs BUT I'd want to be there to supervise them so they wouldn't let my cats upstairs by mistake, etc and that'd create some stress for me.

My family do love cats but they feel I am a bit too attached to my cats and keep telling me to relax. One of their cats (inside/outside cat) have gotten war wounds from fighting outside and mom would try to clean him up without taking him to the vet and would wait a couple days-week hoping the infection would clear up. I am the total opposite- if I see any wounds, I keep a very close eye on it and the minute it starts getting infected, off the cat and I go to the vet to take care of it. I've spent a lot of money on my cats and my family disagree with that. They'd spend up to maybe 300 to 500 and that's it. So that's what I mean about how their views and my views differ greatly.

I'll talk with my dad and mom and see what they say regarding the cats issues, kids issues and the locking/control issues and see what they say before I decide how I feel .

Originally Posted by mews2much

Be careful with Condos/Townhouses.
We almost bought one before we bought our house and none took all my cats.
We asked and most only allowed 1 or 2 cats.
Even my vet was lied to by a real estate agent and had to back out of a condo.

Click to expand...

Yes I am aware of this- thanks for the reminder though. I have made it very clear to my realtor that I will NOT buy anything that would not allow cats. However I have to keep quiet about the # of cats I have since most counties here in Utah seem to allow only UP TO TWO CATS!! I refuse to give any up.

Originally Posted by othie

Do you mind if I ask where in Utah your moving? (I'm in Woodscross myself, near SLC) If you want I can keep an eye open for what your looking for.

As far as what your asking, lol oh boy do I understand. I moved back up to northern Utah from southern Utah and I'm renting two rooms in the basement. My room mate (who is a friend of my grandmother) and I also have different views on cats, as I have gone on about on the this board (sorry guys). And I find myself in "my rooms" alot, to avoid getting into our "different views".

That said, it is a great offer given what the market is like right now. Would you be paying rent? Even if its just $20 a month, saying that you paying rent should help you to avoid the whole guilt trip thing (rather then come from you, or your parents).
You should know that if its a old basement with the old windows (which it sounds like) its not really a room. The new law is that the room must have a window that you can get out of in case of a fire.

Another thought that comes to mind is (if you have any friends like this) finding a friend or family member who is looking to rent, and have them give you the first 6 months of rent up front (or so) to buy the house, then giving them their part of the house for free for that amount of time, if that makes any sense.

I think that what it really comes down to is 1) can they afford it without breaking the bank? (can they still live comfortably and do this?) 2) can you talk to them about how you would need this to be your apartment and work out a monthly rate, even if it is a very small amount? and 3) How much of a chance do you have of finding a place for the money you have that you WANT? I strongly believe that if you are going to spend that much money on a place, it should be a place that you truly desire, even if that means you have to wait a bit. Of course there is always the chance of finding a place to rent and save up, but that would be hard with 6 cats...

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That's really sweet of you to offer!! I live in Riverton but am looking to settle within 30 minute of 4500 south near state street since that's where my work is.

They wouldn't ask me to pay rent BUT I would if I move in to help out. They are not swimming in money themselves (they had to take out a reverse mortage) so I want to help out a bit.

Let me try to describe the basement- There's a large family room with an open area which could be used for dining room or office then a small bar area with a refrig then a laundry room, a bedroom, storage room then another bedroom which is stuffed FULL of sewing materials for my mom (if I moved in, I'd want to keep the storage room and 2nd bedroom closed at all times since there are alot of things cats could get into and possibly get in trouble for or get hurt from) along with a bathroom (no tub which would be a hardship since I love taking baths everyday).

There's a small window in the open area, small window in the bedroom, small window in the bathroom and 2 windows in the sewing room (that room gets the most sunlight due to where it's placed but I'd have to keep that room closed since its full of sewing materials/tools).

Right now they're saying they can afford it (they've already started having someone work on adding a laundry room to the main floor and said it'd be easy to just add a wall to the stairway and make an outdoor entrance) but I'm not sure if that's realistic. They are very giving people and I don't want to create hardships for them.

I have looked at more homes online last night and have found a few that seems nice so we'll see what they look like this week/weekend when I get to look inside.

I am currently living in a rented 3 bedroom home and it's nice. Landlords told me since my 6 month lease is up that I can pay them on a monthly basis until I find another home if needed or sign another 6 months lease. They're really nice. However, I am not sure I want to stay here since the bathroom is still not finished (they started remodeling in May and said it'd be done before I moved in. HA!) As of now, if i need to turn the hot water on, I have to use pliers to turn it on since there's handle/faucet for the hot water. There's one row of new tiles placed and the rest are old tiles. Another con with this is that they have 5 horses, 2 pigs, 3 pygmy goats and various goats surranding my back and front yards so often if I open the windows to get fresh air, I tend to hmmmm smell manure. It's not BAD most of the time but sometimes I can smell manure in my house and I would think it's from my cats so I'd go clean out all the litterboxes before realizing it's from outside.

Another con is that it's kinda far from my workplace and I'd like to live closer to work and parents so if they need help, I can be over faster to help.

I'll have to think more about this.

Thanks!!

Originally Posted by GailC

I think of my basement and say to myself could the cats and I live there for an extended time. Not really. We have three windows-one east side so good morning sun and two on the north. Or I think of the house where I grew up-the basement was bigger more windows and would have been more tolerable.

Second-would your parents have a need to go into the basement when are are not there?
Would they treat it as your place and you could send the time there by outself??
How is the soundproofing??

I would get a lock for sure but make sure there was another person in the house with the keys? Esp if your nephew comes over quite a bit.

Have you done the hard math on how much you would really save?? You would pay some rent/utilities?? What about food costs?? Factor in the rental of the storage unit.
Will your work commute change??

Click to expand...

Yes, my parents will need to go downstairs once in a while since the food storage room and the sewing room are downstairs. I'm not sure how often mom goes down to sew though. I don't think they go downstairs often to get food. I think they'd treat it as my place since they've done that with my brother, nepew and neice who have lived downstairs while being newly married.

That's a great question about soundproofing- I can't answer that since I'm deaf but I DO worry about that because I know my cats can be very noisy especially at nighttime. Friends have told me my cats can make a huge racket sometimes and I'll bring that up with my parents.

It'd save me a lot of money and would cut a few miles off from my work commute.

Originally Posted by Althekitty

My opinion, my own humble opinion, is for your own sanity don't do it. I think that you are already aware of how it could be if you live there. I just think, from what you have said that you would be miserable. It is very difficult for anyone to move 'back home' even if they get on with their parents. It is obviously very kind of them to do this for you and turning it down could be hard but it doesn't sound to me like you really want this at all. If you are not worrying about your cats being let out or fighting you are worrying about your relationship with your family which, from what you said, you find difficult at times anyway. Also, you don't sound very enthusiastic at all about the idea, I don't think I would be either. Also, if you don't mind me saying, with the economic climate the way it is, do you really want to go and get a bigger loan than you really need? If I was you, I would buy a two bedroomed town house/condo, and the money I save I would put towards paying of my debts. See how you get on and later when you are in a better situation and can manage the bills, find something bigger. Try not to bite off more than you can chew in my opinion, at the moment we don't know whats round the corner with all this credit crunch stuff. I think for your own sanity/peace of mind, get a cheaper house, don't get a massive loan, have your own space and not have to worry about family and look after your babies how you want to

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To be honest, I do have mixed feelings about it. Part of me think it'd be great to live there and be able to pay off my bills a lot faster, save money faster AND be able to help my parents out with cleaning, etc since they're getting older and harder for them to get around. Part of me is terrified because I do cherish my independence, privacy, and am proud of the fact that I have not had to move back home to save money like most of my family have had to. I'm also worried about possible conflicts related to my cats and kids not respecting my space and accidently letting cats out.

I do not want to buy a big fancy home but I do want to buy a home that I LOVE and not have to put in a lot of work to change it to my preferences.

I'll have to think more about this.

Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45

Right now its very difficult to get any kind of loans. Even tho you'd like a better house, IMO its not wise to max out what you can qualify for in the loan. You have no lead way if something happens or you need to fix stuff on the house. Too many people go for the max they qualify for; and strap themselves into payments they really cannot afford in the long run.

With the economy you don't know if you will keep your job or what will happen. Its good to pay off as much debt as you can - but then do NOT go out and get more then you honestly can afford - stay in the middle of what you qualify for.

And right now houses are NOT appreciating - most are lower then what they were (value wise).

As far as your situation. I see more bad with it then good. You would have to have locks on the doors if you do this so you have control over who is in there and who is not. First I'd determine just how long you would have to live in the basement. If its no more then 6 months, then do it, but if you are uncertain, I would look for other options.

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You're right- I do not want to get a high loan maxing out what I can afford and end up being "poor". I want to have spare money to use for fun and for emergencies but at the same time, I want to buy a home that I LOVE and won't have to put in a lot of work to fix up.

I am right now figuring out my budget and see how long it'd take to pay off my debts, etc and will see what I come up with.

I wanted to thank you all for your advice and comments! You all have made great points and I'll think more about this.

If any of you want to add comments or thoughts, please do so!!

Hi. So what did you do ?