I know today she will be back to her usual self, but we talked on the phone last night and she was SO kind, and even (dare I say?) loving! This has happened only a handful of times in my life so I know better than to let myself feel warm fuzzies... next time I speak with her it will be brutal again... but for a few minutes I "suspended belief" and imagined to myself that this is what's it is like to have a mom.
She even said she was going to send me my meds that I can't get here in Canada. She offered - I didn't ask for her help. The only time I had asked her to help me with getting my meds, she sent me a used, expired bottle in a package with a knife and an old, used-up lip balm. (Her way of saying she doesn't want to be bothered.) So I'm not counting on her help.
But I've been smiling last night and this morning, even though I know this behavior of hers not real or permanent. My husband thinks it's all very sad but I'm glad to accept the happiness I feel right now!
She even said she was going to send me my meds that I can't get here in Canada. She offered - I didn't ask for her help. The only time I had asked her to help me with getting my meds, she sent me a used, expired bottle in a package with a knife and an old, used-up lip balm. (Her way of saying she doesn't want to be bothered.) So I'm not counting on her help.
But I've been smiling last night and this morning, even though I know this behavior of hers not real or permanent. My husband thinks it's all very sad but I'm glad to accept the happiness I feel right now!