Vibes for our bipolar son

kittymonsters · Oct 21, 2008

I am so sorry for you, your husband and dear young Ben. I know what if feels like to not be in control of ones thoughts, even while knowing they are irrational at the same time. It is terrifying.

Try not to think too hard on the future as researchers are learning by leaps and bounds about how the brain works and there may be a really good treatment or even a cure right around the corner for Ben. Just take care of him in the here and now.

If Ben needs hospitalization, you know you are doing it for him. It is where he needs to be to be safe.

Never forget how very lucky your little boy is to have you and your husband as parents. Mental illness is something most people want to hide. I don't know why people don't understand it is a disease just like cancer or diabetes. Because of your proactive well informed approach, Ben is going to have the best life he can. If he had to have this disease he sure couldn't have gotten any better parents to help him cope.

My heart is breaking for you and your husband. Parents just want to make sure their children are happy, healthy and know they are loved. To watch your child completely meltdown in such a drastic way is an agony I cannot even begin to imagine.

Know I am keeping your family in my heart

butzie · Oct 21, 2008

Originally Posted by kittymonsters

I am so sorry for you, your husband and dear young Ben. I know what if feels like to not be in control of ones thoughts, even while knowing they are irrational at the same time. It is terrifying.

Try not to think too hard on the future as researchers are learning by leaps and bounds about how the brain works and there may be a really good treatment or even a cure right around the corner for Ben. Just take care of him in the here and now.

If Ben needs hospitalization, you know you are doing it for him. It is where he needs to be to be safe.

Never forget how very lucky your little boy is to have you and your husband as parents. Mental illness is something most people want to hide. I don't know why people don't understand it is a disease just like cancer or diabetes. Because of your proactive well informed approach, Ben is going to have the best life he can. If he had to have this disease he sure couldn't have gotten any better parents to help him cope.

My heart is breaking for you and your husband. Parents just want to make sure their children are happy, healthy and know they are loved. To watch your child completely meltdown in such a drastic way is an agony I cannot even begin to imagine.

Know I am keeping your family in my heart

Those are so many beautiful words and I know that we have a beautiful son and we are lucky to have been blessed with him.

othie · Oct 21, 2008

I'm sorry, I missed the earlier posts about your son, do you mind if I ask a few questions?

How old is he?

Is he in a special program? (i.e. special ed?)

I ask because my mother teachers special ed to high schoolers and she has had child who have done this to her. its not a nice thing, but she has gone through special training for it, and spends alot of time working with the parents to get a special program set up. Sometimes it helps to have the child away from the other kids, or to talk to the other teachers about some things that will set them off? If he is in something like that, have they set up anything for him?

butzie · Oct 21, 2008

Originally Posted by othie

I'm sorry, I missed the earlier posts about your son, do you mind if I ask a few questions?

How old is he?

Is he in a special program? (i.e. special ed?)

I ask because my mother teachers special ed to high schoolers and she has had child who have done this to her. its not a nice thing, but she has gone through special training for it, and spends alot of time working with the parents to get a special program set up. Sometimes it helps to have the child away from the other kids, or to talk to the other teachers about some things that will set them off? If he is in something like that, have they set up anything for him?

Thank you.

Ben is in a special school that is run by our county and funded by the federal government. We had to fight our local school district - well, to be truthful, just one administrator because she did not want the funds to transfer from her budget. Shame on her for wasting one year where our son did not get the help he needs.

He is truly getting the best care that he can. For once, the system is working.

othie · Oct 21, 2008

Originally Posted by butzie

Thank you.

Ben is in a special school that is run by our county and funded by the federal government. We had to fight our local school district - well, to be truthful, just one administrator because she did not want the funds to transfer from her budget. Shame on her for wasting one year where our son did not get the help he needs.

He is truly getting the best care that he can. For once, the system is working.

oh I'm truly glad. After seeing all my mother goes those, and all the children she works with, I know that sometimes things are less then good. It's so nice when they get the right care

margecat · Oct 21, 2008

I am so sorry you all are going through this--my best friend*s daughter is bipolar, and I know what she goes through. You have LOTS of support and friends here!

monaxlisa · Oct 21, 2008

lots of

butzie · Oct 21, 2008

Thanks, everyone. The three of us had a major talk today and we agreed to work on things. All of us.

Here is his picture. Isn't he handsome? He will be 14 in December.

http://[IMG]http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc132/gmhyman/Ben7thgrade.jpg[/IMG]

starryeyedtiger · Oct 21, 2008

Rosemary, I am so sorry you're having to deal with this tough situation right now. That being said though, it sounds like Ben has two terrific parents to love and care for him and he is lucky that he will be able to get the help he needs

Your family is in my prayers. I hope you guys are able to get things worked out a bit

meowers · Oct 22, 2008

Here are some more vibes for your family

I can only imagine what it must feel like to go through all this. But, I do have a small idea of it. For about 4 years I was very much in love with an ex bf, who was later diagnosed bi polar. The diagnosis made it a little easier for me, but since he wouldnt stay on his meds, we had to break up. We were always on again/off again, and I was so unhappy so often. Its hard to understand what they are going through sometimes, but reminding yourself that they lack control helps a bit.

I agree with an earlier post that in the future there will be better meds and such. Maybe he will improve with age? Being a teen is hard enough... you are lucky to have each other, but you already know that

mer636 · Oct 22, 2008

he's such a cutie!! I'm sorry you and your family are going through some really tough times and here is a lot of vibes that everything turns out alright

nanner · Oct 22, 2008

Sending good vibes your way.

I can only imagine how tough this must be, but it's obvious how much you love your son, and that will give you strength as well.

butzie · Oct 31, 2008

DH and I went to a session for just us at Ben's psychiatrist this morning. Ben came with us because he is on a second school suspension for his violent behavior.

The psychiatrist gave us the long story about how hard it is to diagnose kids especially when they are young and he wanted to prepare us for what he was going to say.

He said the Ben has Schizo-Affective disorder. Some of his symptoms may be bipolar, others are schizophrenic, anxiety disorders and Aspberger's symptoms. He was telling about gradually changing Ben's meds until he heard about the recent violent behavior towards his teachers at school. He is getting big enough to hurt them.

Immediately after hearing those stories, the psychiatrist immediately prescribed Lithium. Ben has to get a baseline blood profile before because Lithium can cause problems with the kidneys and will have to have his blood drawn 2x per week for a month. Ben is not liking this. We all told him that the times for the blood to be drawn will decrease to 1x every 6 months but is still hard.

From things that the psychiatrist has said and his psychologist has said (absolutely the best in the area, lucky for him to take us) Ben is a difficult case. He acts out but he seems to be nice. I could go into all of the things that both have said, but I am too stressed to write everything down.

Well, DH and I are going to our local wine store's Fri. evening tasting about now for the special Halloween night. It goes from 5 - 8 but we will leave so that we can take Ben trick or treating.

I made his costume. He is Draco Malfory from the Harry Potter books.

I am not sure that today was a good day or not given all that we have heard.

tierre0 · Oct 31, 2008

Lot's more vibes coming your way. Let's hope that the new meds are the turning point for Ben and things begin to improve from here on in..

cococat · Oct 31, 2008

Thanks for posting his picture, he is a doll. I am sending you guys all the best vibes!
What a hard thing for your whole family.

carolpetunia · Oct 31, 2008

Hoping all went well tonight... would love to see Ben in his costume!

ewa · Oct 31, 2008

My older brother is Schizophrenic and Bipolar. He first showed symptoms at the age of 9. It was very rough growing up in a house with him when we were kids and my poor mother had such a rough time dealing with him. He is now almost thirty and things have got much better once he was out of his teens. he now lives a few blocks from my parents in his own apartment, works for my dads construction company, and is does quite well on his meds. He still has his cycles where every few months he goes off his meds, totally loses control and goes back to the hospital for a few weeks to get back on track. At this point he actually really likes the hospital and feels at home there. We do all his banking for him, take him shopping, and he eats at our houses a few times a week, but he does pretty well on his own all things considered.

Once you make it through those rough teen years things often get better. I was diagnosed as Bipolar and Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well when I was 16 but it is so much milder than your sons. It was rough in my teens but I am now in my 20's and I control it with a awesome herbal medication and other than a few hard times a year I pretty much live everyday just like your average person. I learned techniques to talk myself down out of panic attack, and was to prevent myself from falling into slumps!

I hope all turns out well for you and your son! I will be sending positive vibes your way!

carolpetunia · Nov 1, 2008

Originally Posted by Ewa

...He is now almost thirty and things have got much better once he was out of his teens...

That's so good to hear! I was hoping that might be the case.

butzie · Nov 1, 2008

Originally Posted by Ewa

My older brother is Schizophrenic and Bipolar. He first showed symptoms at the age of 9. It was very rough growing up in a house with him when we were kids and my poor mother had such a rough time dealing with him. He is now almost thirty and things have got much better once he was out of his teens. he now lives a few blocks from my parents in his own apartment, works for my dads construction company, and is does quite well on his meds. He still has his cycles where every few months he goes off his meds, totally loses control and goes back to the hospital for a few weeks to get back on track. At this point he actually really likes the hospital and feels at home there. We do all his banking for him, take him shopping, and he eats at our houses a few times a week, but he does pretty well on his own all things considered.

Once you make it through those rough teen years things often get better. I was diagnosed as Bipolar and Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well when I was 16 but it is so much milder than your sons. It was rough in my teens but I am now in my 20's and I control it with a awesome herbal medication and other than a few hard times a year I pretty much live everyday just like your average person. I learned techniques to talk myself down out of panic attack, and was to prevent myself from falling into slumps!

I hope all turns out well for you and your son! I will be sending positive vibes your way!

Your comments meant so much to me and made me think in a different way. Thank you so much.

laureen227 · Nov 1, 2008

Originally Posted by Ewa

Once you make it through those rough teen years things often get better.

that makes a lot of sense... i mean, even so-called 'normal' kids become a bit crazy with all of those rampaging hormones! having other bio-chemistry body issues would just exacerbate things!
sending on this thread for Ben, too!

Vibes for our bipolar son

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Darksome Duo!