Stupid drunk drivers...

mommysmeows

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My daughters "biological mother" has 2 DUI's and a warrant for her arrest. Her Fiancee also has DUI's, not just 1, 2, or 3, but 4 - Last being aggravated DUI. Both have Felonies... The BIOMOM is ordered not to drink or drive around the child, at all through court.

Anyway - Today, we went to the school to file some papers and decided to stick around to see L (daughter ) get out of school. Her biomom was there, driving, picking her up with her fiancee. Neither of the two should even be in a car unless some one else is driving it. Period!

So, we called the cops, called our attorney, and UGHHH, I am so freaking annoyed. Why won't this lady freaking follow the dang order?


Oh and then, she has the NERVE to tell us to quit picking on her, get along for the kid, do whats in best interest of the kid, why are we so hateful towards her... WHEN ALL WE ARE DOING IS LOOKING OUT FOR THE KID!
 

emy4cats

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That is scary! Is there any way you can let the school know?

When I was working at a day care we had a child who we were not to release to her Dad if he seamed like he had been drinking. Maybe you can talk to the school and tell them the sistuation and see if they can help out at all.

She has 2 DUI's and still has her licence?? Maybe it is time that gets taken away...
 
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mommysmeows

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Originally Posted by Emy4cats

That is scary! Is there any way you can let the school know?

When I was working at a day care we had a child who we were not to release to her Dad if he seamed like he had been drinking. Maybe you can talk to the school and tell them the sistuation and see if they can help out at all.

She has 2 DUI's and still has her licence?? Maybe it is time that gets taken away...
No, it's revoked. She has no driving privileges at all, but she keeps doing it... with and with out the kids. I say kids because she has another baby by some random no one who she drives with in a busted up, broken car seat. Literally, the carseat has no restraint on the top, just the buckle between her legs!


We're taking her to court, for sure.

Oh and we did try the whole school thing, not much they can do besides call CPS but that is if they see her because she does parent pick up which means the kid meets her outside.
 

whisky'sdad

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Until we quit being so lax on our dui laws, it will continue....

2 duis, she should be in jail...

4 duis and he is free? Sad...
 
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mommysmeows

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Originally Posted by Whisky'sDad

Until we quit being so lax on our dui laws, it will continue....

2 duis, she should be in jail...

4 duis and he is free? Sad...
They did do jail time at some point. The current aggravated DUI on the Fiancee ( which is actually female ) is to be continued Nov 12th, and she will get sentenced for jail time then and from what we gather should be about 6 months, or less, maybe even more in prison... I guess we sit and wait it out.


The reason the BIOMOM is free is because she fled state. She moved from the state it happened in, avoiding the warrant, etc. We have tried several times to get her arrested but so far all we have is an order through FAMILY COURT stating she shouldnt drink or drive but, when we arent looking she is.
 

emy4cats

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Oh are kids had to be singed out we had VERY strict rules on who we realsed them too also, but thats the difference between school and day care.

That is really scary for the baby as well. Is there anything that can be done about that as well? Probally not because it is her child with another man, but I would call child services or something to look into it.

No one at the school regulates Parent Pick up?? So anyone could just come up and pick up kids?? That is scary!!

How old is your daughter? Not really imporant I am just nosey


At least she lost her licence, but it apperently does not stop her from driving! I agree with Whisky'sDad sounds like we are alittle too lax on some laws.
 
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mommysmeows

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Originally Posted by Emy4cats

Oh are kids had to be singed out we had VERY strict rules on who we realsed them too also, but thats the difference between school and day care.

That is really scary for the baby as well. Is there anything that can be done about that as well? Probally not because it is her child with another man, but I would call child services or something to look into it.

No one at the school regulates Parent Pick up?? So anyone could just come up and pick up kids?? That is scary!!

How old is your daughter? Not really imporant I am just nosey


At least she lost her licence, but it apperently does not stop her from driving! I agree with Whisky'sDad sounds like we are alittle too lax on some laws.
Well, they know she is her biomom so they just don't question her during pick up. That's all, and even now - It's not the schools job ( apparently ) to make sure their kids are safe, because no... They wont help us even if we have an order and we have given it to them. Not sure what the heck to do...

Daughter is 7 years old, she has no way of saying "no" to her biomom.

- I would have to agree on the laws. I hate it. Too many buts and what ifs.
 

tara g

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That's horrible! My friend's stepdad had 3 DUI's ... and 3 wrecks to go with it. He lost his license for 10 years. Glad I never rode with him. Another lady who lived with Rob's parents for a few weeks was a drunk driver with a revoked license. No one knew her license was revoked until she was drunk, hit another car at an intersection, ran, and the cops ended up waiting for her at the house. She would drive her 2 kids to school completely drunk.

That's scary they are driving around drunk with a 7 year old in the car.
 
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mommysmeows

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Originally Posted by Tara & Rob

That's horrible! My friend's stepdad had 3 DUI's ... and 3 wrecks to go with it. He lost his license for 10 years. Glad I never rode with him. Another lady who lived with Rob's parents for a few weeks was a drunk driver with a revoked license. No one knew her license was revoked until she was drunk, hit another car at an intersection, ran, and the cops ended up waiting for her at the house. She would drive her 2 kids to school completely drunk.

That's scary they are driving around drunk with a 7 year old in the car.
Biomom did the same, When she moved here... no one knew she did not have a drivers license so my husbands family was trying to help her get on her feet - letting her use their cars, etc etc etc. Either way, we pulled up some background info on her for court and that popped up. We were shocked. Then, we had the pleasure of ruining her good time, with their cars! She was so mad that we looked into her. LOL! ( good thing we did, right ? )

She still drives her friends cars around that don't know. It's pathetic.

She even lived at my sister inlaws house RENT FREE to get her feet on the ground, did she pay off her fines or warrant or anything? Nooooooooope. She claims her warrant is old, so it's no longer valid. LOL! Well, um... My brother has a citation ticket that is 15 years old, that he just NOW began to pay on, and spend JAIL time for and there is no way after 2 DUI's being caught driving with no drivers L that they just let it go, with no jail time, ect etc.

To top it off, because she lived at my Sister inlaws house, my sister inlaw got to see what a drinker she was. Every night she drank, even by herself. She had friends over all the time playing drinking games, and of course she went out to drink a lot too. Now her fiancee has 4 counts of DUI, Aggravated DUI and we're supposed to think.... what? LOL


Ughhh.
 

libby74

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Do you have an actual adoption contract with this woman, or are you just being nice by letting her pick up your daughter? (just wondering, because we have an adopted daughter, too)
 

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Alcoholism is a disease recognized by the AMA. Rather than just judge her maybe you can try to get her some help which would help her biological daughter. Her daughter is at risk to become an alcoholic as well so help may be what all of you need to focus on, not just the DUIs. Healing is a good thing.
 

emy4cats

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Do you have full custody or is it split? Maybe your hubby can demand rehab. for her in order to see her daughter? Or does that start the custody battle over again?

7 is too young for her to be stepping up and saying "no" to her mom and you really don't want to distroy their relationship.

How is it not the schools job to make sure kids are safe?? That is just rediculess! That is just...grrr!! I don't even want to go there
 

butzie

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Originally Posted by butzie

Alcoholism is a disease recognized by the AMA. Rather than just judge her maybe you can try to get her some help which would help her biological daughter. Her daughter is at risk to become an alcoholic as well so help may be what all of you need to focus on, not just the DUIs. Healing is a good thing.
I realized that I wasn't focusing on the immediate problem which is to not let her pick up her daughter. I assume the law will catch up with her real soon with your help. I was thinking about the healing that needs to come afterwards for all of you.

Many for you.
 
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mommysmeows

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Originally Posted by butzie

Alcoholism is a disease recognized by the AMA. Rather than just judge her maybe you can try to get her some help which would help her biological daughter. Her daughter is at risk to become an alcoholic as well so help may be what all of you need to focus on, not just the DUIs. Healing is a good thing.
Disease or no disease, you have a choice to get into that car, or not. I will never ever feel bad for this woman for getting into a car and driving while drunk, her disease could have killed your child because she was operating a vehicle while intoxicated. If you have no kids, then your brother, your mother, your wife, your husband, whoever... She may be sick, I give her that, but she gets NOTHING but anger from me when she gets into the car and drives when she was told not to do that.



No adoption contract. My husband is her biofather. I am the "step" mom ( I don't use those words because we never have and our relationship is more ) and her biomom is a term for the other mom in her life that is not me. It's just the way I word it, I guess.


Emy4cats Do you have full custody or is it split? Maybe your hubby can demand rehab. for her in order to see her daughter? Or does that start the custody battle over again?

7 is too young for her to be stepping up and saying "no" to her mom and you really don't want to distroy their relationship.

How is it not the schools job to make sure kids are safe?? That is just rediculess! That is just...grrr!! I don't even want to go there
Currently we are working to get majority of the custody. Right now they have 50/50 and clearly, she shouldn't. Not only does she have DUI/WARRANTS driving around with the kid - She has also moved this child 7 times in the last 5 months and that is just a handful of times she has actually been moved in her life. This poor kid has been moved more times by her biomom than I have moved my entire life all together!


Oh, and the school... Uh ya. We're beyond angry.
 

libby74

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So who is your daughter's legal guardian? Are you and your husband planning to adopt her or be named her primary care-takers, or what?
This truly is a case where the parental rights should be looked at under a microscope; being the biomom doesn't give her the right to endanger the child.
 
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mommysmeows

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Originally Posted by libby74

So who is your daughter's legal guardian? Are you and your husband planning to adopt her or be named her primary care-takers, or what?
This truly is a case where the parental rights should be looked at under a microscope; being the biomom doesn't give her the right to endanger the child.
My husband and her biomom are her legal guardians. My husband does not need to adopt her because she is his biological child, and because she has a biomom who is still alive and still active ( in unfortunate ways ) I can not adopt her. I do refer to her as my daughter and she refers to me as her mommy - It's a relationship based on love, trust and bonding.

However... This is a cause of concern and a valid reason to change custody rights for the BIOMOM giving my husband the majority of custody till she cleans herself up, entirely.
 

libby74

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Have you & your husband thought about trying to gain full custody, with biomon only receiving supervised visits until she gets her act together?
 

emy4cats

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Are you going to try for full custdoy?

I agree with you Alcholism does not cause people to get behind the wheel of a car. She endangers not only her own life, but the life of others when she drives drunk. It is sad that she is sick, but unaccpetable to drive while drunk. That is just my opnion.
 
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mommysmeows

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We want Primary, giving her Friday - Sunday over night visits, and 1 evening after school to visit, and of course the obvious Holidays, Birthdays, etc.... Us having the rest/Primary.

We'll try for what we can, our attorney will get us in the right direction... If we could get supervised we would. I don't think this calls for "sole" - She would have to literally be doing some pretty bad things such as abuse, physical, mental, doing drugs, etc etc etc. While drinking is right up there on my list, it's not on everyone elses... It appears
 
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