help!!! new cat..

toshascrazy

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Alright heres the deal: we just got a cat and the cats a little weird. you can be petting her and she will be loving all on you then the next thing you know she starts hissing. then we can go to bring our hand toward her and she will hiss. the person we got her from could only keep her in one room. therefore she never got to really meet anyone new. i figured it might be because she has been out alot. i need to know how to make her stop hissing. she also skittish. when she hears a new sound sometimes she goes and hides or starts shaking. can someone please help me????
 

fifi1puss

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Your cats not weird just scared. It's actually sad. Poor thing. But she will get better in time and with lots of understanding and patience from you. You have to gain her trust and teach her how to be happy.


Only pet her for as long as she can handle right now. Don't let it get to the point where she is upset. Give a little rub and give her praise, and then stop. She will eventually be able to handle more and more handling. Fiona has a hard time with this and would bite, she still does sometimes but we have learned her cues and when to stop. It's much better than in the beginning!

Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to. It will just make it worse. Let her hide if she is scared, it's okay. Give her positive experainces when she is with you. Play with toys, give her treats, find out what will make her happy.
Eventually she will learn all good things come from YOU!
 

happilyretired

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In addition to all the good info from the previous poster, let me add that my girl (now at the Bridge) adopted ME when she was about a year old. She was a stray who remained wary of people, and I learned to let HER dictate our interaction. I never approached her, but let her come to be petted when she wanted to. Usually, it was when I was sitting in a chair; she'd come stand at my arm, and that was my cue. When she'd had enough, she'd walk away. It was at least two months before she came to bed with me. She was never as affectionate as I would have liked, but we had 18 wonderful years together. If you just provide good food and a clean litter box, your cat will be happy and will eventually initiate contact with you.
 
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toshascrazy

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well its kinda hard to be patient. i mean dont get me wrong i have two dogs already. i just dont like the fact that she hisses. the dogs will walk by her and she will hiss. they wont even come near her.i dont know im going to give it a little more to see if she adjusts. last night she did get in the bed and lay near my head. i woke up later and she wasnt there. i just dont want her to bite me or anyone else. shes only a couple of months old.
 

mrblanche

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It sounds like she is trying to be close to you, but she may have had some bad experiences and it will take a little while for her to be trusting of you. If she hasn't been exposed to dogs before, she may be terrified of them.

A cat hisses out of fear, usually, in an attempt to defend itself without actual contact.
 

brotha j

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Cat=wierd.

I think it takes incredible behavior for a cat to truly be labeled as wierd.

As others have said, just give her time. Sometimes it takes a while for a cat to get used to its' surroundings/territory. I have two cats: "Meadow" is about 1 1/2 and "Maynard 2.7" is about 4 months.

It took a month or two for them to get along. They (mostly Meadow) would hiss and fight every time they got near each other. Now they play like they were litter mates.

Cats just need time. You'll know when/if the behavior is unalterable given enough time.

Hope this helps,
Brotha J!
 

kittyl0ve4

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Like everyone else said, you have to give her time to adjust. She went from being in one room her whole life, probably NEVER seeing other animals, and not much socialization when it comes to people. Also, probably didnt get much attention from her owner. Cats are very attached to territory, and her territory has been changing. Mittens was like that when she came to live with me. She had never been around other cats or dogs, except when she was a tiny kitten still with her mother, and those dogs were chiuahuas(sp?) so she didnt know dogs as big as my bfs existed, and she was VERY scared of him, and still is. She didnt get to see many people, just my boss, me and the other 3 people who work there, my bfs mom is one of them. Monster has grown up in my house, but i moved for a week one time and took him with me. Any time my grandparents went near him, to try to pet him, he kissed at them, and at their dog. He also hissed at my brother the night i went to stay there, and Monster has known my brother most of his life. It only took Mittens about 2 weeks to adjust, and actually be comfortable in her new house. Now she only hisses at the dog, like when he gets too close, which isnt often since he doesnt like either of the cats. Or at Monster when he wants to play and she wants to be left alone. You have to think, cats identify alot with smell, and you are a new person, a new house, new animals, all of those new smells are probably making her uncomfortable. It will get better, but you have to be patient with her. it could take a few months before she is completely comfortable in your home.
 

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She sounds scared, poor baby. I think that patience and love will produce remarkable results. Let her come to you, don't force anything. When you least expect it, she will probably curl right up beside you. Good luck.
 
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toshascrazy

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well last night the dog walked by her and she decided to hiss at her.then she hissed at my bf. so my bf went grab her to tell her no and she started scratching him and hissing louder. i dont know what to do with a cat that acts like that. she doesnt seem to be getting in better. im thinking about seeing if i can give her to someone else. maybe someone who loves cats and will have more patience with her.
 

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The poor thing is just scared to death and probably hasn't had much interaction with either humans or dogs. Provide her a safe place away from the dogs, maybe in your bedroom or in the bathroom. Play some soft, soothing music. Get a feliway diffuser. Do NOT yell at her or approach her at all! Do NOT pick her up. Sit on the floor and let her approach you. Sing to her, talk to her calmly, read to her...all on the floor. Don't reach out to her to touch her in any way. Get some interactive toys (toy on a string or wand) and use those to draw her out. Let her come to you. Time and patience will win this kitty over.
 

kittyl0ve4

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Originally Posted by toshascrazy

well last night the dog walked by her and she decided to hiss at her.then she hissed at my bf. so my bf went grab her to tell her no and she started scratching him and hissing louder. i dont know what to do with a cat that acts like that. she doesnt seem to be getting in better. im thinking about seeing if i can give her to someone else. maybe someone who loves cats and will have more patience with her.
Your bf should not go to grab at her and yell at her for hissing. She is just doing what she thinks will help keep her safe, and him going to grab at her when she is in this kind of state will only make it worse, and possibly ruining any progress made for her. how long have you had her? As suggested before you should keep her in a small room for a couple of weeks and gradually start giving her acess to bigger areas. She went from being in a room most of her life, and if you got her from a shelter, she was always in a cage. Then you take her and let her run free in your house (which is new to her) when she is used to smaller spaces. She may not seem to be getting any better, but it will take time, it could be weeks, or even months before she is comfortable in her new environment. you have to be patient. giving her to someone else will not help her but maybe making it worse too, since she will have to deal with being in another new place with even more new smells. she just has to get used to everything.
 

althekitty

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I don't want to sound harsh but I have to say that I find posts like these very frustating indeed. You have got a kitten who is only two months old, that has not had much social interaction and been confined to one room for most if not all of its life so far, your words. You then have her, she comes into your big home (very big to her compared to one room), there are two dogs wandering around and two humans whom she does not know. Can you at all empathise with this? Can you see that at the beginning she might well be scared, nervous and defensive? Hissing is a warning, she is being defensive because she is not used to you or your dogs. She needs time and patience. Then your boyfriend goes and 'grabs' her for being scared. I mean, does that really sound like the right thing to do in this situation?
Your kitten is probably very loving, very caring, very playful, very interested and all the good things that a kitty is. You though, need to nurture her to feel safe and secure so that she can be all these things and probably more. Patience, love and understanding. Be gentle with her, be softly spoken around her, let her come to you in her own time. But of course, if your'e boyfriend can't keep his hands to himself then I would say that the responsible thing to do would be to take your kitten out of a potentially abusive situation. This won't change over night, it might take a while, it will without doubt be worth it though.
 

othie

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hmm this might sound odd, but...I would stop thinking of her as a "pet" for the moment. I know she isn't being the kind of cat you probably dreamed of, and its hard to see what she could be, but please trust us that she can become much more then you would believe. Think of him more like...well like a bird with a broken wing. He needs time to recover, he is going to make alot of noise while he is still "hurt" and he wont want to be touched much (though if he comes for loves, make sure to give them to him). Personally I would suggest making him a "hiding place" maybe a room or area that no one goes into, put some boxes near by so he can feel safe, and hide from the "scary new monsters" that might be the dogs and sadly, now your boyfriend (since he grabbed and yelled at him).

I hope that makes sense. I know what I want to say lol just not sure how to put it into words
 

fifi1puss

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I just don't know if you are "getting" it. So maybe rehoming this cat would be a better option. She sounds scared out of her mind and your misunderstanding her behavoir isn't helping. By grabbing her and yelling at her you are telling her SHE WAS RIGHT TO HISS AND ATTACK! i certainly would have if someone yelled and grabbed at me for trying to defend myself.

Just let her be who she is or get her a new more experianced home. it sounds like you just don't get it and don't really want to. Alot of people were giving you great advice and you are not even giving it a chance to work for you.

Not everyone should have animals for pets.
 
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toshascrazy

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well i have had many of animals. i read on here from one of the sections that tells you how to handle a cat when they are hissing. which was to hold them down and tell them no in a firm voice or hiss back at them. which reminds them of their mom and lets them know they are doing wrong. that is what we had tried.
 

laureen227

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Originally Posted by toshascrazy

well i have had many of animals. i read on here from one of the sections that tells you how to handle a cat when they are hissing. which was to hold them down and tell them no in a firm voice or hiss back at them. which reminds them of their mom and lets them know they are doing wrong. that is what we had tried.
here? you read that here? whereabouts?
 

forensic

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I've heard of hissing, I've even done it to Hennessy here and there to keep him off things.

But flipping them over and yelling?

Yelling doesn't work on cats.
 
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toshascrazy

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Hello everyone, this is Toshas BF. I want to say first off, thank you all for your help (those that actually read this thread).

But we have to make a few things clear: I never "flipped her over or yelled at her"! We never said that I did, so I dont under stand where this came from. I did exactly what was told on THIS SITE! Hold down and say a firm no. This is not me being mean, but doing what I thought was correct coming from this site... I did not "abuse the cat", I dont know where all this is coming from but it needs to stop... There is no grabing, yelling, or abusing just a hold down and a quik "no". I dont like following directions and being told that Im an abuser. Or holding called grabing, and the word no called yelling...

Also... These dogs couldnt be "huge monsters", the cat is bigger than both... The dogs were also around her when she was younger... We are NOT new to her, she used to love on us everyday... Shes not 2 months, but more around 6 or 7 (not sure if it even matters)... She had LOTS of social interaction... Or place is not a huge open world compared to where she grew up, our place is slightly larger than the room...

Im not trying to sound mean here, but ppl are attacking us for something weve never done. And I had to dispel some assumptions, and clear up a few things...
 

trillcat

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Originally Posted by toshascrazy

Hello everyone, this is Toshas BF. I want to say first off, thank you all for your help (those that actually read this thread).

But we have to make a few things clear: I never "flipped her over or yelled at her"! We never said that I did, so I dont under stand where this came from. I did exactly what was told on THIS SITE! Hold down and say a firm no. This is not me being mean, but doing what I thought was correct coming from this site... I did not "abuse the cat", I dont know where all this is coming from but it needs to stop... There is no grabing, yelling, or abusing just a hold down and a quik "no". I dont like following directions and being told that Im an abuser. Or holding called grabing, and the word no called yelling...

Also... These dogs couldnt be "huge monsters", the cat is bigger than both... The dogs were also around her when she was younger... We are NOT new to her, she used to love on us everyday... Shes not 2 months, but more around 6 or 7 (not sure if it even matters)... She had LOTS of social interaction... Or place is not a huge open world compared to where she grew up, our place is slightly larger than the room...

Im not trying to sound mean here, but ppl are attacking us for something weve never done. And I had to dispel some assumptions, and clear up a few things...
Your girlfriend wrote: Alright heres the deal: we just got a cat and the cats a little weird. you can be petting her and she will be loving all on you then the next thing you know she starts hissing. then we can go to bring our hand toward her and she will hiss. the person we got her from could only keep her in one room. therefore she never got to really meet anyone new. i figured it might be because she has been out alot. i need to know how to make her stop hissing. she also skittish. when she hears a new sound sometimes she goes and hides or starts shaking. can someone please help me????

That is completly different from what you just wrote. I am confused, and yes, I have read through this thread.

Your getting mad at people who are trying to help, please dont take advice as personal attacks. We read, we respond. If we hear someone is doing something wrong, we try to help that by telling how to do it right, its not meant as an attack.
If you got advice to scruff the cat, or hiss back, Im sure whoever wrote that was talking about a cat already established in a houshold, not a new one. I hiss at my cat, but she has been with me for a while and is not in any sort of transition process. When I first got her (she was in a very bad situation) I did not do this, and she hissed all the time, bit me, scratched, you name it. I got most of my injuries from trying to push her to hard, not reading her when to leave her alone. It does take a lot, and I mean a LOT of patience, but it is worth it. We want to pour on the love but sometimes they just want to be left alone.
About her hissing after being petted for a while, this is very normal. Some cats get overstimulated very easy, and they react like you described. You can definatly tell her "NO" but let that be the extent of it, just the "NO" and stop petting, do not try to reach out to her. Ignore her after that. Hissing does not mean anything bad, as pointed out is a warning to you she has had enough, and will defend herself if need be. Would you reach out to a rattle snake who is rattling at you?

ETA: If this is a sudden personality change for no reason that you can see, I would take her to a vet. Could be she is in pain from something and is reacting to that. Is there a particular spot that if you touch she reacts badly to when she did not before?
 

othie

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Originally Posted by toshascrazy

Also... These dogs couldnt be "huge monsters", the cat is bigger than both... The dogs were also around her when she was younger... We are NOT new to her, she used to love on us everyday... Shes not 2 months, but more around 6 or 7 (not sure if it even matters)... She had LOTS of social interaction... Or place is not a huge open world compared to where she grew up, our place is slightly larger than the room....
I'm sorry. I assumed a) your dogs were larger, b) the place she was moved to was much better then what she was used to and c) that she didn't have any social interaction. I shouldn't have assumed and should have asked questions, I am sorry
 
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