Originally Posted by sarahp
Unfortunately there's not much anyone can do. She has to live her own life and make her own mistakes. She has to remember that her children are going to be around a lot longer than this guy, and should treat them appropriately.
I think their best bet is to leave her be, and not speak out against it. No kid likes when their parent butts in and tells them they're making a bad decision, no matter how stupid it is, and neither does a parent. I think in this situation, you just need to be there for them when it fails.
That's very true. I'll just let her ruin her life and hurt her kids
I think it's terrible that she can't even see what she's doing to her children. Her daughter was already upset before this guy came a long because of things that were said to her. Everything is just compounding.
Oh and she's having the kids lie to their dad about the boyfriend. That's great, so the real dad is pissed at the kids because he thinks they are lying and going behind his back, when it's the irresponsible mom that can't take blame for her own actions
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca
Yeah, I agree with this.
Though she sounds like she's actually depressed. From what I remember from the other thread, she sounds like she's gone off the deep end, which can also be a sign of depression.
Yeah she was really bad for awhile. Then she met this guy and said she has never been happier in her entire life
If only she wasn't blind.
Originally Posted by Rosiemac
I agree with Sarah as well
It's sad to see, but if you start having a go at her she could dig her heels in deeper.
She'll realise in the end, but it could take time for the penny to drop
You're very right, she could dig her heels deeper....
I'll keep out of this then. She knows I think she's making a lot of bad decisions and I don't want any part of it. That's enough for me.
Originally Posted by GailC
I agree that its her life but I'm thinking she is still in the "honeymoon" phase of this new relationship too. There will be some event sometime that will occur with this man that hopefully will open her eyes. Hey at least the guy has a job!!
Its unfortunate that she is not putting her children first. And good for you for not having this guy come over with her if she ever makes it to your house.
So whats up that he has his granddaughter? Does she attend school??
Yeah true....at least he has a job...
I'm glad you agree about not letting him come over. I don't feel comfortable with it, but I also don't want people to think I'm being a baby about it. I did tell her if she ever brought him over I would take him outside and have a very "nice" chat with him and what I think of the situation, then lock him outside.
Oh and the granddaughter is I think 2? Maybe a bit younger. Don't ask me where she goes during the day
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom
My mom walked out when I was two and she never looked back. Sunday was the first time in 28 years that she had remembered to call me and tell me happy birthday. The first time in 28 years and when she is with any man she completely forgets about her kids. She was with one man who threatened to kill my sister and she stayed with him. He threatened me as well and he got mad because since my dad raised me and I had only known him for a few weeks, at the age of 18, I would not call him my dad. Then she got with another man whom she also married, she has been married several times and there was a couple of men in between them, she refused to take me to the hospital when I was visiting her when I miscarried my baby. She never even gave it a second thought. She has never even seen my nephew who is six months old and my sister took him to see her and she wouldn't even go to the door. She has seen my niece like maybe three times and she will be three in feburary. So I know what its like to have a mother disert you. And I don't understand what could possible be more important than your children or grandchildren. When my mom left she walked out when I was two and my sister was 5 months old and left us alone while my dad was at work. So what your boyfriend's mother is doing could be much worse.
Oh my gosh that is horrible!
I am so sorry about that. I just don't understand how any mom could walk out on her kids. Do some moms just not create that ever lasting loving bond! It's so sad.
Originally Posted by calico2222
I agree that there isn't much you can actually do, but you can vent here all you want
There are a few things I do want to say though...first, as Gail said, at least he has a job! That does say something about him and that he has some sense of responsibility and is not sponging off your MIL. Also, the fact that he may not have a license doesn't make him a terrible person. I know a few people that don't have a license for medical reasons or personal reasons. It is harsh to judge him on that fact.
I know you feel like your MIL abandonded her family because of him. But, she didn't move to be with him which is also a plus. I agree, they are still in the honeymoon stage and will eventually settle down and be normal, or split up. The bottom line is your MIL is an adult and is allowed to make her own choices. Is it really a good idea to tell her she can't bring him over to your house? Think about it. That is just causing a bigger rift in the family. There are certain times in a family where you just have to suck it up and be the bigger person for the good of everyone. It's hard but it can be done. Has anyone in the family actually tried to get to know him? Just a few things to think about.
True true, but I don't trust him AT ALL! All of us tried to get to know him, but he's just so gross! He looks terrible, smoking constantly, I immediately thought he was a crack head because I had a few old friends that went down that path. And you never know if what he's saying is the truth! I don't trust one thing he says!
One lie was: I don't have any family because I was stolen when I was kid
and: I used to have this really fancy classic car worth a lot of money, then I crashed it, rolled it 18 times, you couldn't even tell what the car was. A cop came and asked me what I was doing and I told him I was walking home. The cop couldn't believe that was my car because I didn't have one scratch on me and I kept walking home
and: I work at least 12 hours a day, doing dredging. Sometimes I work 18 hours, and one time I went for 36 hours of working straight (what the heck kind of job would let you do that?!). And then to top it all off he's not tan whats-so-ever, lives in TX, and works at least 12 hours a day??? When you question why he isn't tan, it's because he works the night shift. !!!!!!!The sun is only down so long!!!!!!
and: he's native american and has been on spirit quests on the reserves
First of all....pale skin? working a lot of hours????? And don't you have to prove that you are at least a large percentage native american and that includes knowing your family? How could he do that if he doesn't know his family because he was stolen as a child?