Seperation Anxiety

torachikatashi

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Hey. I'm new here, so I'll tell you a bit about my cat before I get into my problem.

My Snowy is a five year old neutered male, and he's been with me since he was very young -- too young, in fact, but I was young and stupid and got him from one of those "Free Kittens to Good Homes" ads in a magazine from a man who later turned out to be a drug dealer, so I shouldn't have been surprised that he would lie about his age in order to get rid of them. The house he came from was rundown and dirty, and had an aggressive German Shepherd chained up in the kitchen that didn't look like he'd hesitate in eating any kitten that came in distance of him. The man told me that the kittens were kept "safely" in their upstairs linen closet, and when I asked about the orange stain on his face, he told me that the kittens were being fed spaghetti and meatballs out of a can. You can tell he had a great start in life. >.> At that point, it became more about saving at least one of those poor kittens than anything else.

He also didn't tell me - or more than likely, had no idea himself - that the kitten I had chosen, the only pure white out of the litter with one blue eye and one green, was born stone-cold deaf. He's still an amazing cat, and the only impact this really has on him is that I have to stomp my feet to get his attention rather than call his name, and that his meow is significantly louder than necessary, but I also believe it is the root of his separation anxiety. We also believe that he may have poor vision in one of his eyes, so that may impact, as well.

For a creature that is supposedly independent, the only time he is ever outside of five feet away from me is when he's eating or sleeping. If I am walking anywhere in the house, I have to stop before I turn a corner to make sure that he sees which way I'm headed. He gets mixed up and lost easily, so if he looks and I'm gone, and he doesn't know where I went, he'll sit and cry as loud as he can until I come find him. Same thing if he's asleep, and I'm gone when he wakes up.

This wasn't so much of a problem until this week. The two of us spent most of our time in my bedroom, where my laptop was set up for working. It broke down and had to be sent in to be fixed, however, and in the meantime, I am using my father's desktop in the other end of the house. I leave the door open for Snowy to come in, but the problem is, his entire life he's been taught that this room is off-limits to him, because it also doubles as a storage space and there are a lot of things he could knock over if he's not being supervised.

So rather than come in here with me, he'll come to the doorway, look at me, then run down to my bedroom and scream and bawl until I come down to swat at him. I've had two nosebleeds in the last 24 hours, and I'm entirely convinced that they're because of me stressing out over having to listen to him constantly.

In the meantime, I've been compromising with him -- I go downstairs with him until he falls asleep, then sneak back up here until he wakes up -- but I can't get any work done that way.

Alright, here's the second story.

In late March of this year, my grandmother passed away. My mother and I left to go spend a week with her twin sister, both because her house is much closer to the funeral home she was being waked at, and so we could mourn together. The plan was that we would spend about a week there -- a few days just to try and settle down, then the two days she was being waked, then her funeral the third day. By the first day of the wake, we had to go home and start driving all the way out to town and back twice a day from our house, because Snowy was so distraught. He was running around the house, looking for me and screaming, and was refusing to eat anything my father tried to give him. He was worried that he was going to make himself really sick before I was due to come back. It bothered me greatly that my grandmother's funeral had to be put on the back burner like that for the sake of my cat, but there was nothing I could do. It was only a month prior that he had to be hospitalized and treated for FLUTD -- a bill running up over $800, which I only got totally paid off this September -- and I couldn't risk pushing his health any.

When he was younger, it was just kind of cute, that he wanted to be around me so much, but it's really beginning to become disruptive to my life. In the next year I have a few trips out of the country planned, during which we will be separated for as long as a week or more, and I fear that I might have to just call them all off if we can't get this under control by then. It's not fair to him or my parents to have him freaking out like that.

Has anyone else had to deal with anything like this? Any suggestions on how to curb his anxiety, or at least make it tolerable for the next few days so one of us doesn't go flying out a window, until we can find a better solution?
 

cmedeiros17

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WOW! I've never heard of separation anxiety in cats......I've only dealt with it in dogs. I adopted a Pug about a year ago and he came to me with AWFUL separation anxiety. I basically took steps to desensitize him of it.......I wonder if your cat can be treated in the same way? Basically you start out by leaving for brief periods of time. Start by going outside for a minute and coming back in that sort of thing. I wonder if you left a blanket that smelled of you if that would comfort him? Perhaps start doing that.......maybe sleep with a blanket for a few nights so it gets your scent on it and leave it around areas where he normally sleeps.

Also, another idea that may help - what about those phermone things you plug in? They are quite expensive but I hear they work wonders.

You may also want to check with your vet. There may be some kind of medication that can help. Although, personally I would use that as a last resort.

Good Luck! I feel your frustration.......even though in my case it was dealing with a dog.......
 

mschauer

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Originally Posted by cmedeiros17

WOW! I've never heard of separation anxiety in cats......I've only dealt with it in dogs. I adopted a Pug about a year ago and he came to me with AWFUL separation anxiety. I basically took steps to desensitize him of it.......I wonder if your cat can be treated in the same way? Basically you start out by leaving for brief periods of time. Start by going outside for a minute and coming back in that sort of thing. I wonder if you left a blanket that smelled of you if that would comfort him? Perhaps start doing that.......maybe sleep with a blanket for a few nights so it gets your scent on it and leave it around areas where he normally sleeps.

Also, another idea that may help - what about those phermone things you plug in? They are quite expensive but I hear they work wonders.

You may also want to check with your vet. There may be some kind of medication that can help. Although, personally I would use that as a last resort.

Good Luck! I feel your frustration.......even though in my case it was dealing with a dog.......
I also think you need to work on desensitizing him. The Feliway plugins may help or if not I would talk to my vet about anti-anxiety drugs for him. He may not need them permanently, just until he learns that he is OK when you are gone.

It sounds like it may take a lot of time and patience but I'll bet if you stick with it both you and he will be much happier!

Good Luck!
 
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