Disappointed in Dad

I have never been so hurt and disappointed in my Dad. I am such a Daddy's girl I just don't know how to deal with it.

I was talking on the phone with him last Sunday and he made a reference to my "Tramp Stamp" which just shocked me. I have 3 tattoos and the one to which he was making a reference I have had for a little over 10yrs. It is a lizard that is right on the small of my back. I immediately told him that I found the term "Tramp Stamp" very offensive and did not appreciate being indirectly called a tramp. I told him that not all of the phrases he picks up from the TV are appropriate and this counts as one of the more inappropriate ones. He told me that it was merely meant in jest and that I was being rather unhumorous and thin-skinned. I ended the phone call as quickly as possible.

Normally, Dad is a very funny, sweet, and caring guy. He has multiple college degrees and should really know better. I have spent all week being hurt and angry and disappointed. I just don't know what to do...

My Dad always had the best of intentions, but he was capable of putting his foot in his mouth. I can understand your shock and hurt, but I'm guessing your Dad really just wasn't thinking how the term would be received and is probably now wondering what to say to you. We all make mistakes, and I think your biggest one right now would be to let his come between you. I'd let it go, unless he refers to it himself. If he does, I'd say, "Dad, I know you didn't mean it unkindly, but it hurt all the same, and it shocked me, so I'm sorry if I over-reacted."

I was Daddy's Little Girl, too, so I think I know what you're feeling, and I just know that I'd have been devastated to have anything break that bond.

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

My Dad always had the best of intentions, but he was capable of putting his foot in his mouth. I can understand your shock and hurt, but I'm guessing your Dad really just wasn't thinking how the term would be received and is probably now wondering what to say to you. We all make mistakes, and I think your biggest one right now would be to let his come between you. I'd let it go, unless he refers to it himself. If he does, I'd say, "Dad, I know you didn't mean it unkindly, but it hurt all the same, and it shocked me, so I'm sorry if I over-reacted."

I was Daddy's Little Girl, too, so I think I know what you're feeling, and I just know that I'd have been devastated to have anything break that bond.

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Excellent advice there. I'm sure you know that your dad does not consider you a tramp. My guess is that he made a joke that he had no idea you would be so hurt by. Forgive him for putting his foot in his mouth. Since you so clearly adore him, my guess is that he has done so many wonderful things for you in your lifetime that he is allowed a momentary lapse. A good dad is too precious a thing. Call him and let bygones be bygones. Life is really too short.

My dad has said things to which he thought was a joke , which i took to heart ,some times we have to remember to let these things slip and only make a deal out of it if its persistant or extremly hurtful , i am sure i have made a comment in the past which has hurt him but been funny to me ya know? some times we all say things without thinking , regret them later , you need the people u love to stay the people u love chin up and sort things out with him!
Jess x

I agree that he wasn't trying to insult you. He probably thought he was being "cool" using the lingo. I seriously doubt her really thinks you're a tramp. I would just forget about it and don't let it affect your relationship.

A girl I work with mother has a tattoo there. She finally told her mom what they were called now, and her mother was MORTIFIED!

never heard of it been called that before.
but if you think about back his day, Normal people did not get tattoo's
heck even when i was in college, only the "bad kids" got them.

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

My Dad always had the best of intentions, but he was capable of putting his foot in his mouth. I can understand your shock and hurt, but I'm guessing your Dad really just wasn't thinking how the term would be received and is probably now wondering what to say to you. We all make mistakes, and I think your biggest one right now would be to let his come between you. I'd let it go, unless he refers to it himself. If he does, I'd say, "Dad, I know you didn't mean it unkindly, but it hurt all the same, and it shocked me, so I'm sorry if I over-reacted."

I was Daddy's Little Girl, too, so I think I know what you're feeling, and I just know that I'd have been devastated to have anything break that bond.

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Beautifully said. I'm sure your dad really didn't mean it the way it sounded.