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post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
I don't talk to my sisters much because of a few different things...
One being our age differences. They're 8 and 9 years older then me, we're over 1000 miles away and have been for the last 17 yrs. And lastly, we have alot of different outlooks on life.

Well, today I got a message on Facebook from my oldest sister

Mind you, I haven't talked to her in about 4 years and haven't seen her in over 11yrs.

My 2 nephews are 8 and 19 how and it blew my mind to think the last time I seen the oldest was when he was 8 yrs old and I've never even met the youngest

I told her that I didn't know much about everyone back in Kentucky because I'm the long lost sister in Florida that no one tells anything and she should call me sometime.

Here's where the "different outlook on life comes in" she started prying into my personal business and life and going into topics I just didn't feel comfortable talking with her about.
It saddens me to think that this person who is my sister is a total stranger to me and I don't even feel comfortable sharing the simplest things with her.

It got me to thinking that as we get older we should be getting closer because sooner then we want it to happen, we won't have our parents around anymore

Sad isn't it?

Sorry, just had to vent a little
post #2 of 32
Try having that outlook, but no siblings to depend on at all. I guess in a way, family isn't all it is cracked up to be.
post #3 of 32
My sister is 10 years older then me, I can barly remember her being at home, We have total different views on most things.
The only time i hear from her is when her computer breaks, or when my nephew wants a new game, and she wants to know if it is ok for him.

mother is dead, and my father does not really like his kids, love yes, like no, 30 seconds conversation is about all he wants out of us.

i guess that is just the way life goes sometimes.
post #4 of 32
My sisters are 4 years older & younger than me. (My brother is 8 years older).

My older sister is a thoughtless tramp. She bought a puppy, got tired of it after a week, so I cleaned up her mess. Done it a thousand times, will do it again & again.

My younger sister, I am not willing to go there.
post #5 of 32
Originally Posted by white cat lover View Post
My younger sister, I am not willing to go there.
you know, you do have many cages to lock her up in....

ok teasing.
post #6 of 32
Originally Posted by theimp98 View Post
you know, you do have many cages to lock her up in....

ok teasing.
Younger sister is the lesser of the evils.
post #7 of 32
I am the oldest and am way older the my 2 youngest sisters. i get all long well with all my sister.
My brother in Santa Rosa I hardly see.
My other brother i see sometimes but not often.
post #8 of 32
It always amazes me when I hear people say they haven't seen or talked to a sibling in X-amount of years. I'm the middle of 5, and we all get along great (fought as kids of course). We all crack each other up because we're all a bunch of smart mouths, and the nieces and nephews are learning the trade!
post #9 of 32
Originally Posted by clixpix View Post
It always amazes me when I hear people say they haven't seen or talked to a sibling in X-amount of years. I'm the middle of 5, and we all get along great (fought as kids of course). We all crack each other up because we're all a bunch of smart mouths, and the nieces and nephews are learning the trade!

I just can't imagine life without my siblings. I am the oldest of 5 and we all live within a few miles of one another. Mom is in there, too. Sometimes I think its because, most times, we were all we had growing up.

It is me, then three boys then baby sis. She and I are almost 13 years apart. I think of her as my best friend. She is so very different than I am but I love her.

The siblings all have different political views, religions and outlooks on life but I think we kinda center each other. After all, it is difficult to be all high and mighty around those who knew you when (insert embarrassing time in life) We can go a couple of weeks (it is rare) without talking to one or the other but it is never because one is angry.

One of my biggest fears is that we might grow apart. I'll do anything to keep that from happening.

I am sorry your sister isn't closer to you or more understanding. She really is missing out!
post #10 of 32
I'm close to my sister who's older than me. My eldest and youngest brother have recently passed away, and my middle brother disowned me when i left my husband, so i havent seen or spoke to him in 10 years.

His loss is all i can say, and with the way he behaved with his girlfriends he's the last one to play judge and jury!!
post #11 of 32
My brother and I have not been close for many years. Actually at one point I didn't see him for over 6 years despite him living a 10 minute car ride away from me. And I talked to him maybe 3 times in that time too.

The more time we spent apart and not talking, the less inclined I felt to even bother. He was a virtual stranger to me and I didn't even want to go over for Christmas because I felt so uncomfortable, like I was in a strangers house.

Plus he's always been so "me" oriented. When we did talk, after about 30 seconds the conversation ended up being about their vacation, their house rennovation, their investments, etc. etc. etc. And when he did get around to wanting to talk about me it was mostly to be go at me about my weight, or try to find out about my investments/savings etc. In hindsight he's much more money savouy than I am and I should have been more open about my finances, maybe he could have helped me with some valuable advice and saved me getting into such a financial pickle that when I ended up off work sick, that I ultimately had to declare bankruptcy in the end.

He is my only brother and I feel really bad that we are not close. But that's how our whole family is on my Dad's side. We basically only see each other at funerals.

Over the last 3 or 4 years my brother and I have been working on getting our relationship back on track. We've always known that we are here for each other, no matter what, and that even though we aren't that close that we would go to the ends of the world for one another.

He and I have had some nice heart to heart talks with each other this past year and we've even hugged and told one another "I love you", something we haven't done in many, many, many years.

Part of our problem is that we are both so emotionally scarred from our childhood, that we're afraid to reach out for fear of being slapped down. But we're both working on it.

I'll tell you that the only way things will change is if you want them to change. Your sister phoned you. To me that is a huge step in the right direction. Instead of being hostile towards her and resentful for whatever reason, put that aside and work on mending fences. It won't be easy, and it will take some time, but pick up the phone today and phone her back. Why not tell her that you've missed her and invite her down for Christmas this year? That would be a wonderful way to start
post #12 of 32
Well I'm a twin so we have that twin bond. We talk on the phone or computer weekly and see each other 2-3 times/year. Yes we have some disagreements nothing major though.

Neil comes from a real close knit family. He is the youngest of 8 siblings with his older brother about 15 years older. We do lots of stuff and see most of them pretty regularily and with lots of the neices and nephews too.

My mom was estranged off and on throughout the years with some of her siblings and some of dads siblings. Little stupid things really. She is now on good terms with her brothers and sisters and working on improving relationships with my dad's brothers and sisters. I think the realization of being older and time is too precious to waste.
I think my making up the photo albums of pics from when we were younger got her to thinking.

In fact one of my cousins is taking her flying in his home-built plane tomorrow!
post #13 of 32
I have three sisters. I am 21 years old, and my oldest sister is in her 40s. I have never met her and have no idea where she lives. The last I knew, she had two sons, one of which is older than I. I would really love to find her but haven't had much luck.

My next sister is 38 and I'd have to say I'm the closest to her, although we only talk occasionally. She has two children, a girl and a boy. My niece has always been one of my best friends.

My youngest sister is 11 and now that I no longer live with my parents, I rarely talk to her. She was allowed to physically abuse me when I lived at home, so I can't say she's one of my favorite people.
post #14 of 32
Some of these stories are heartbreaking. And my mom has an older sister who has refused to see her siblings for the past sixty years!

It makes me feel better about my brother. He lives one mile away, I see him every week or so, and we talk on the phone almost every day -- he doesn't hold me in very high regard, and sometimes mistreats me pretty badly, but I'll take that over estrangement any day. And actually, the relationship has gotten a lot better over the past couple of months. I'm very thankful for that!

Family is so important. It's almost always worth the battle to maintain or reestablish those relationships.
post #15 of 32
I have a brother and a sister still living, and cannot stand either one of them. I don't speak to my brother at all, I doubt he even knows where I am, and I intend to keep it that way.
My sister is such a bad person that there will be demons trying to get out of hell when she gets there. We have an uneasy truce because of my daughter but I really hate her and hate to be around her.
Dh has 3 brothers, the youngest one is the only one we have any contact with. He is a great guy, and though I have not yet met his wife, dh says she is a great gal.
post #16 of 32
Awwww, sorry Alycia Maybe you can reconnect with her somehow without personal questions

I am the baby of the family with 2 older brothers and a sister, My sis and I talk several times a day, and her children are my children I am close to my 2 brothers too, but don't talk everyday to them. No one lives near me though
post #17 of 32
I'm always amazed when people do get on well with their siblings! I guess it all comes down to how you were raised.
Family is important, and it would be wonderful if everyone got along and made the effort to keep in touch. Reality isn't a Disney movie however, and as far as I'm concerned people who don't have contact with their siblings/other relatives do so for reasons that are no one else's business. Unless they've been there and understand the family dynamics no one have no right to judge someone for keeping their distance from their family.
post #18 of 32
This is probably going to be long, i have 7 siblings & its complicated. I am the oldest. one is a step brother who i consider blood bc hes been in my life since i was 6 or something.

My mother has 3 children, me(21), my brother Ricke(17) (he likes to spell it with an e), and Bryan(going to be 5 on the 15th), none of us have the same father. My father has 5 kids. Me,, my brother Art(19), sister Nikki(18), Barb(16), they all have the same mother, besides me. They were out of my life for years since their mother abused me when i was 4 years old and lived with her and my father. Her and my father split up, she had custody. Then my dad met Gloria, who had a son of her own Matt(20) who is the step brother who is my brother. Then she had my brother Johnny(11). Art, Nikki, & BArbs mom died when i was 10, and they went to live with my dad and Gloria.

I live pretty close to all of them, but Ricke is the one i speak to and see the most. he is the one i grew up with, we lived int he same house for most of our lives. we are very close. which is funny cuz we hated each other growing up. But he is always there for me when i need him, as i am always there for him. we kno we can rely on each other. I was the first in our family to kno that he was gay, because he told me first. I see Bryan alot too, cuz i go to my moms to see him as much as i can. I have contact with Art, Nikki, and Barbara, not as often as Ricke, and i havent seen Nikki for years. They are friends of mine on Myspace, & we text back & forth sometimes. Nikki and Barb came to the hospital to see me after my accident, tho i was unconsious at the time. Art came too, but i was aware and no longer in a coma. Matt didnt come, his gf doesnt like his family, but me especially, since i called her flipping out on her for not letting him go over his moms to help her put up & decorate her christmas tree. Gloria will bring Johnny here to see me sometimes. Matt came once, but i wasnt here.

All in all, we arent all as close as i would like, but i love them. My two sisters have not made the best choices in life, and i feel like its partly my fault. they never had me to be a role model for them. not to say im perfect, but i never ran away & they both have several times. They were both in foster care, Nikki is now 18, she was locked up for most of her teenage years. Barb just ran away from her foster home, no one knows where she is. But i would like to start seeing all of them more often.
post #19 of 32
I have 2 sisters, 2 step-sisters & 2 step brothers. All but 1 step-sister I get along with really well. My sister who is 3 1/2 years older than me is my bestfriend after my DH of course. I am going to MN next week to surprise her for her 50th birthday. I had almost blown off trip but DH insisted that we go. We really fought when we were younger, but age & distance helped.
post #20 of 32
I don't have any brothers or sisters... I have a cousin who is like a brother...even though he is a moron... but i still love him...try talking to her though
post #21 of 32
Wow I don't think I have gone more then 5 hours with out talking to my older sister. She is 10 years older then me and we get along great! We didn't get along untill she moved out of the house (I was 8 she was 18), but sense then she is like my best friend. We look alot alike and some people think we are twins It makes her happy, but I don't like to think that I look 30!!! I could not immange not talking to my sister! When I don't talk to her for a full day I miss her alot. I she has alot of great advice for me and being 21, unmarried and pregnant I need all the help I can get. I know that if I didn't have her I would not have been able to surive telling my parents I am pregant.

My best friend has a twin sister and they just don't get along at all. I am firends with both of them and sometimes I feel like I am cought in the middle of there fights. They often call me and ask how the other is and ask me to pass things on to the other. I am just like can't you just talk to each other?? I understand WHY they don't get along, but IMO your family will always be there for you and love you. I just don't understand because my sister and I are so close. We both come to the relization that Mom and Dad are not going to be there forever and we only have each other. I know that no matter what problem I have I can call her and she will do everything in her power to help me out and same goes to her.
post #22 of 32
I have a sister who is 11 years older then me. When I was younger she obviously wasn't home a lot but I do remember when she WAS home, it was not pretty. Now that we are older(I'm 23 and she's 34) we talk every single day-or every other-and I cannot imagine my life without her. She is my rock
post #23 of 32
Originally Posted by clixpix View Post
It always amazes me when I hear people say they haven't seen or talked to a sibling in X-amount of years. I'm the middle of 5, and we all get along great (fought as kids of course). We all crack each other up because we're all a bunch of smart mouths, and the nieces and nephews are learning the trade!

I'm very close with my 2 brothers, one is 4 years younger than me and the other is 8 years younger and I adore them both. I couldn't imagine not speaking with them regularly and being so close with them
post #24 of 32
Originally Posted by clixpix View Post
It always amazes me when I hear people say they haven't seen or talked to a sibling in X-amount of years. I'm the middle of 5, and we all get along great (fought as kids of course). We all crack each other up because we're all a bunch of smart mouths, and the nieces and nephews are learning the trade!
i'm the oldest of 5 [2 brothers, 1 sister still living, 1 brother deceased] & everyone lives w/in an hour's drive. all of my siblings are married & have kids, too. i'm the only singleton!
post #25 of 32
I'm 29 and my youngest sister is 5, we don't have a lot in common

One of my other sisters is 12 and we're doing more things together, like shopping or movies as she gets older.
post #26 of 32
Have siblings, no one got along until we moved out of the home. I am glad I have siblings and have a family. Life would not be as rich and wonderful without my siblings. Even in times when I am really mad at them, I am thankful I have them.
post #27 of 32
I have a younger sister, 6 years younger, and we are about as different as people can get. I'm a quiet, reserved, loner and she is a drama queen social butterfly I believe she has a lot of resentment towards me, she thinks I am "the chosen one" and she was always getting compared to me, which isn't true I get tired of litstening to her whining all the time, and she doesn't understand my, uh, cat thing She lives at home and we are both still very close to our parents so we're around each other fairly often, but we never really call each other just to talk. I'm 30 and she's 24 so I hope maybe as we get older we'll have more in common and become friends as well as sisters
post #28 of 32
I remember when I was young I wanted a sibling. Then when Mom got remarried and I gained 4 step siblings (besides the 2 I saw every other weekend at my Dad's) I went back and forth about it. I wished I had someone so it wasn't 4 against 1 all the time, and then I didn't want someone who would do to me what my step-siblings did to each other from time to time! They could be so MEAN to each other! I'm not talking petty teasing, I'm talking emotionally scarring stuff. I'd share an example, but I'd rather not share what is really their business.

Now I'm just glad to have DH's sisters. I get along great with one of them in particular and it's just taken some of the place of not having siblings of my own. I have cousin's that I'm close to too.
post #29 of 32
I'm an only child and both my parents have passed, and there are times I wished I had a brother or sister...then, there are times I'm really glad I didn't! You can chose your friends, but you can't chose your family. I can understand people who have to distance themselves from family because the relationship is harmful, but I've seen people cut themselves off completely for years because of a stupid arguement.

My mother's family was very close. She had 2 sisters and a brother who all lived in separate parts of the US, but they all tried to get home at least once a year to see my grandparents (my family lived in the same town so we saw them also). After my grandfather passed 4 years ago and my grandmother was put into a nursing home, my uncle stopped speaking to my aunts because of the way they handled the estate. He was supposed to get the house in the will, but Grandma being in the nursing home the state made them put the house on the market and all proceeds went into paying for her care. They also sold all the furniture without asking any of the family if there was anything they wanted, which I agree wasn't right, but I wasn't handling it. Anyway, he stopped speaking to them right then and there. I know it was probably more misdirected grief than anything but he is so stubborn he refuses to accept any effort (email, phone call, anything) from them. I told him he was being stupid, so now he hasn't spoken to me in almost 2 years and he gave me away at my wedding 3 years ago.

Then, DH and his brother haven't spoken for 1 1/2 years because of an "argument" DH got into with his SIL (who nobody really likes anyway, except his brother). It wasn't even an argument. She likes to critcize and bust on my MIL and she was doing it in our house, so DH stood up for his mom and told her to basically shut her mouth and not say lies about his mom in his house. My BIL wasn't even there for this. But, he took her side and has cut ties with DH and his mom. Because of that, we haven't been invited to any of my neice/nephew b-day parties, not invited for any holidays. It was always a tradition that we go over to their house Christmas morning and watch them open presents. Everyone else in the family gets invited, just not us. I just think it's sad.

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack this thread, but as someone without siblings, I would try to get closer to your sister. Don't answer the questions you don't want to answer but try to find some common ground and develope some kind of relationship. Family isn't always great, but sometimes they are all we have.
post #30 of 32
I have 3 older brothers and I younger sister; oldest brother is 10 years older than me, sister is 10 years younger than me. Could I be any more in the middle!? Don't have much in common with oldest brother; he lives 200 miles away and & I only see him a couple of times a year. My 2 other brothers live with 2 miles of me and while we're not extremely close, I know I can count on them. My sister moved 9 hours away and I only see her a couple of times a year.
I was the only girl for (and the youngest ) for 10 years, so I was a bit jealous of my sister. She's a whiner and spoiled; there wasn't much money when we were growing up but somehow my folks managed to find the funds to do just about anything she wanted. Would you believe they rented a room in a Holiday Inn 20 miles from home just so she could swim in their indoor pool?! Apparently, she didn't like the public pool that was less than a mile from our house. She was only 8 when I got married; one day years later she got ticked at me for some imagined slight and yelled at me because I'd gotten married and left her home with those old people! (our Mom was 43 and Dad was 49 when she was born).
I was actually relieved when she moved so far away. My life is a lot more peaceful now.
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