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Results from the meeting

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
For those of you who wanted to know, the meeting with the doctors went better than I had anticipated. There were some points brought up that could have been possible and others that weren't. There are still some "what if" questions I feel that can never be answered because it wasn't done and I don't feel that they know. I don't think doctors know everything and sometimes they are wrong. So now I'm even more confused about how I feel and all I know is that she suffered and they did fail no matter how you look at it because she did die.

I did not relent, cry, or get angry. I stayed neutral and smiled. Basically, they really don't know how I feel. I asked for a copy of my mom's records. She said they could be costly - but said she would see if she could get them at no charge. I think that is the least they can do with all that's happened!! I think it is only fair since they wouldn't let me record or get an official copy of their report.

I'm just glad that they did follow through with it and that I felt like I did stand up for her. I am not going to do anything else at this time because I really need those records and I don't want someone to start changing things in them and may need them if I want to pursue something more in the future.

All in all, I'm glad that the nursing issues were addressed and that they will be making some changes. It still doesn't change the fact that she died, that they couldn't figure out what made her deteriorate so fast, and that I miss her more than ever.
post #2 of 27
I'm glad the meeting went better than you were expecting... You've done all you could possibly do. I'm sorry this is so difficult, sometimes life hands us a raw deal. But I know you will survive, you are a very strong person.
post #3 of 27
wel good im glad all went well
post #4 of 27
I know this was really hard - it would be for anyone. Sounds like you did really well, especially given such an emotional issue so close to your heart. I'm really proud of you!



Laurie
post #5 of 27
You go, girl! I am so proud of you!
post #6 of 27
Way to go Sabrina! Sounds as though it couldn't have gone much better, and it's great they've taken a serious interest. Good luck with the outcomes!
post #7 of 27
Thread Starter 
Just waiting to see if I can get her records free of charge. It is huge and could be very costly. Keep your fingers crossed!
post #8 of 27
Glad that the meeting went well. I hope you can get the records at minimal cost.
Stay strong.
post #9 of 27
Glad to hear your meeting went well. Hopefully you will be able to obtain her records and they will help to answer some of the questions you still have.
Lots of support and good luck vibes coming your way...

post #10 of 27
Thread Starter 
I just received an email from Patient Relations saying that she may have misspoken about the free of charge. Now, why doesn't that surprise me??

I am tired of all the bs and I really am beginning to despise everything about this hospital. Always about them and never about the patient.

My opinions have not changed on how I feel. So I don't even think they will do anything about it and think it was all a facade. I now have to find out how much it will cost me to obtain her records.

I never had any faith in this hospital, but I no longer trust them either. I'm tempted to cancel on my appointments. Why bother going? I'm just wasting my money!

I'm more angry than before and will tell everyone I know not to go there because of how they treat their patients. I really hate healthcare.
post #11 of 27
Although I don't know the details of your mother's treatment, I assume you're correct that serious mistakes were made. Based on that assumption, I believe the hospital administration is playing you: carefully avoiding anything that might seem to be an admission of guilt, but trying to keep you happy enough that you don't hire a lawyer. (Not that hiring a lawyer or filing malpractice is necessarily the answer.)

I imagine their own lawyers have informed them that any break with standard policy -- like giving you the records free of charge -- could be construed in court as an admission that they "owe" you something, which could be interpreted as an admission of guilt.
post #12 of 27
Boy, I would start playing hard ball, but nicely. Say the word "Lawyer" with a smile in your voice and maybe you can get those records... they can make an exception to their fees.

This isn't healthcare related, but it took me six months to resolve an issue with windows I had installed by Pella. The windows were fine, but the contractor they hired to do the stain work did a stinky, horrible job. and It wasn't until I called the home office in Iowa and used words like "breach of contract" and "taking next steps" that the problem was even remotely resolved to my satisfaction.

I can't even imagine what you're going through. The health care system in this country is B-R-O-K-E-N! Big time! I won't get into here.

I wish you well and that you find the strength and peace of mind that you seek.
post #13 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Although I don't know the details of your mother's treatment, I assume you're correct that serious mistakes were made. Based on that assumption, I believe the hospital administration is playing you: carefully avoiding anything that might seem to be an admission of guilt, but trying to keep you happy enough that you don't hire a lawyer. (Not that hiring a lawyer or filing malpractice is necessarily the answer.)

I imagine their own lawyers have informed them that any break with standard policy -- like giving you the records free of charge -- could be construed in court as an admission that they "owe" you something, which could be interpreted as an admission of guilt.


Ah, Carol. Again, well said. They are playing CYA. That is why I said what I said in the above post. The hospital is better funded than any individual for a potential protracted legal fight and would likely come out of this intact and without any changes in policy and procedure. Sad, but true. Broken, broken, broken. Health Care is a bottom-line driven BIG BUSINESS!! Having done business with hospitals before as a vendor, it's about nickels and dimes, and P&L, not about patient care.
post #14 of 27
....oh!...
post #15 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolPetunia View Post
Although I don't know the details of your mother's treatment, I assume you're correct that serious mistakes were made. Based on that assumption, I believe the hospital administration is playing you: carefully avoiding anything that might seem to be an admission of guilt, but trying to keep you happy enough that you don't hire a lawyer. (Not that hiring a lawyer or filing malpractice is necessarily the answer.)

I imagine their own lawyers have informed them that any break with standard policy -- like giving you the records free of charge -- could be construed in court as an admission that they "owe" you something, which could be interpreted as an admission of guilt.
I agree. I'm checking to see what the next steps are. I will not be doing anything "extra" to help this hospital ever again. If my boss says one more thing about my attitude, I will QUIT!
post #16 of 27
Personally, I'd now be calling some lawyers and setting up a few meetings to find one I like...
post #17 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by LDG View Post
I know this was really hard - it would be for anyone. Sounds like you did really well, especially given such an emotional issue so close to your heart. I'm really proud of you!



Laurie
Can't say it better than the above, it is how I feel too...adding more hugs.
post #18 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
Personally, I'd now be calling some lawyers and setting up a few meetings to find one I like...
I found out what the next step is. I would have to hire a professional examiner to go through her records to see if there is even enough evidence to file a claim. Their rates start at $250 and up PER HOUR!

I know I can't afford that and I know I can't even charge it on my card. I may call around here to see what their prices range, but in retrospect, my chances against a huge hospital is almost zilch.

I am going to sit back for now. I have two years from the date she passed to decide if I want to do anything. I just can't afford the rates and the most important thing I can do is obtain the parts of her record I deem necessary.

I really, really, really hate this hospital and I hate that I work here.
post #19 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchess15 View Post
I found out what the next step is. I would have to hire a professional examiner to go through her records to see if there is even enough evidence to file a claim. Their rates start at $250 and up PER HOUR!

I know I can't afford that and I know I can't even charge it on my card. I may call around here to see what their prices range, but in retrospect, my changes against a huge hospital is almost zilch.

I am going to sit back for now. I have two years from the date she passed to decide if I want to do anything. I just can't afford the rates and the most important thing I can do is obtain the parts of her record I deem necessary.

I really, really, really hate this hospital and I hate that I work here.
That seems very unfair. I think you are entitled to the records, I don't see why you can't go over them, then decide If you want to hire a professional. My heart goes out to you.
post #20 of 27
I sure hope the records don't get "lost" in the meantime...


Just a thought... I've posted this before...
When I was a poor working student and needed $400 for my kitty Moon-Pie's surgery, I organized a little get-together and invited all my friends and co-workers. I photocopied invitations with a picture of Moon-Pie on the front, and the invitation explained that the event was a benefit to raise money for Moon-Pie's surgery. I made appetizers - it didn't cost much at all - and my friends came, they brought wine and beer, and everybody contributed to the good cause. (Afterwards, I sent a thank-you booklet to each contributor that contained the recipes of the appetizers I had cooked.)

I had another friend collect the donations so all would be on the up-and-up. Everybody enjoyed getting together and it was worth it to them to have a nice time and help out for a good cause.

I'll bet you have friends and know people who loved your mom. Perhaps you could organize a get-together like this to raise the $250+? People like to help out when it's a good cause, and most people can afford $10 or $20...

I hope this helps. My heart goes out to you, too.
post #21 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
I sure hope the records don't get "lost" in the meantime...


Just a thought... I've posted this before...
When I was a poor working student and needed $400 for my kitty Moon-Pie's surgery, I organized a little get-together and invited all my friends and co-workers. I photocopied invitations with a picture of Moon-Pie on the front, and the invitation explained that the event was a benefit to raise money for Moon-Pie's surgery. I made appetizers - it didn't cost much at all - and my friends came, they brought wine and beer, and everybody contributed to the good cause. (Afterwards, I sent a thank-you booklet to each contributor that contained the recipes of the appetizers I had cooked.)

I had another friend collect the donations so all would be on the up-and-up. Everybody enjoyed getting together and it was worth it to them to have a nice time and help out for a good cause.

I'll bet you have friends and know people who loved your mom. Perhaps you could organize a get-together like this to raise the $250+? People like to help out when it's a good cause, and most people can afford $10 or $20...

I hope this helps. My heart goes out to you, too.

The lawyer told me it could cost thousands! Y, I have the money, but I have been saving since college and this was so I could start my own life without being in debt. That is not even including if I need to file a claim and the chances again, are slim. So I would be spending thousaunds up to $5,000 or more just to find out if there was enough evidence.

If I know my mom, she would stand up for what she believes in, but also is realistic, and knows when a fight may not even have a chance. She would not want me to squander away all my money that I have worked for no matter how wrong it may seem. I still have time so I will wait.

I am picking up the forms today for my dad to sign. I want to get those ASAP. If I can't pursue this, I may try to be proactive and do something in her memory that has nothing to do with this place.

Right now, I really hate my life and what has happened. I know that it can always get worse. If something happens to my dad, then I'm done. I won't have any sense of reality left.

My life seems to have no meaning any longer and each day that I wake up I just go through the motions. I don't have any joy anymore. I am still struggling to try and start a new life, but it is not easy. What's left when once you lose everything you once knew?
post #22 of 27
What's left is a different life. It may be slow going now, but you will get there.

It sounds like you should give this pursuit a rest. Please go to the library and check out some books about what you are going through. It will help so much.
post #23 of 27
Oh Dutchess, I read so many of your posts and see that you feel so depressed after the loss of your Mom. I am certian I would feel the same way. I wish there were something I could say to help you feel better, but there isn't. You are in my prayers.

I do think that getting through this investigation will help you gain some closure and enable you to begin getting your life back together. I'm suprised that you and/or your dad are not entitled to all of the records either free of charge or for a nominal fee. Some things are so unfair. It makes me angry and sad and I am not even in your situation.

I think you are on the right track when you suggested doing something in your Mom's memory. I am sure that she was an exceptional woman and deserves to be remembered. I am certian that she was proud to have you for her daughter as well. I am truly sorry that you are going through all of this.
post #24 of 27
I don't know any of the details, but based on what I read, if I was in your place I would go in and have a "friendly chat" with them. Telling them how you would really like to avoid spending the money for a lawyer, even though you have it (just so they dont think they can brush you off since you can't over the lawyer), but that you need straight answers and you will would have to get the records, free of cost. Maybe throw in how important it was to your mother to stand up for what she believed in, and how you worry someone else might be hurt if something isn't done...
For what its worth I know that atleast in my college there are students in the law area that would be happy to tell you what you could do and the right terms to use, heh somehow they find it exciting, I think its almost as bad as math personality, but if money is a issue and you want to be more sure of what your saying before you, its one choice....
post #25 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat View Post
Oh Dutchess, I read so many of your posts and see that you feel so depressed after the loss of your Mom. I am certian I would feel the same way. I wish there were something I could say to help you feel better, but there isn't. You are in my prayers.

I do think that getting through this investigation will help you gain some closure and enable you to begin getting your life back together. I'm suprised that you and/or your dad are not entitled to all of the records either free of charge or for a nominal fee. Some things are so unfair. It makes me angry and sad and I am not even in your situation.

I think you are on the right track when you suggested doing something in your Mom's memory. I am sure that she was an exceptional woman and deserves to be remembered. I am certian that she was proud to have you for her daughter as well. I am truly sorry that you are going through all of this.
Your post was very touching and kind. I am probably going to try and do something for her instead because she was always a very giving person even if she didn't have much, she always gave to others.

I still have to take care of my dad to an extent because he isn't in the best of health.

I am angry and frustrated with the hospital and I work there! It makes going to work a daily nightmare and sometimes I don't know how I even get myself to go. I no longer have any faith and I certainly don't trust the hospital which may cause me to cancel all future appointments. They can't figure out what is wrong with me so why waste more money just to hear more of the same?

I'm open to any ideas about what I can do in her memory. One member mentioned st judes, but I'd like to see what other options are out there.

I've learned that life is not fair and nothing is guaranteed to you. I was doing ok for a while, but not it's just stirred up the beehive again. You have all been so wonderful. Only a couple of people know of what I have done at work and I have not even told any friends about it. Maybe one day I'll figure out what my purpose in life is...
post #26 of 27
I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time dealing with this. I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be to have lost your mother.

Some of the things you say about how you are feeling really worry me. I hope that you are seeing a grief councilor or a therapist. And one not affiliated with the hospital where you work. If not please consider seeing someone. It really does help.

For the time being you should just try to play nice and get whatever records you can. Then decide what you can do based on what they say. I don't think that they would incriminate themselves but you don't know where you stand with no records.

Also I think that you need to start seriously looking for a new job. Being so unhappy is not going to help you heal from your loss. And you need to get away from this place that has so many bad memories.
post #27 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by othie View Post
I don't know any of the details, but based on what I read, if I was in your place I would go in and have a "friendly chat" with them. Telling them how you would really like to avoid spending the money for a lawyer, even though you have it (just so they dont think they can brush you off since you can't over the lawyer), but that you need straight answers and you will would have to get the records, free of cost. Maybe throw in how important it was to your mother to stand up for what she believed in, and how you worry someone else might be hurt if something isn't done...
i think this is a excellent idea. wouldn't cost anything to try, at any rate.
Sabrina - keeping you & your situation in my
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