A budgeting question for those with spouses

Hey all,

I figure when Josh and I get married, both of our incomes will be put into the same bank account..minus some "allowance" money for us both..and then if either of us are wanting to buy something over ..say..$50, we will discuss the purchase.

I know one of my friends uses this method in her house, and it works well for them.

Josh is nervous about it..he is worried that he won't be able to buy things that he wants. I understand how he would be concerned...but I am not going to be in charge of the money, and neither is he solely..it will be ours. (Keep in mind, we are both fairly frugal and neither of us go around spending on a whim)

How do you guys handle two incomes?

When I met my wonderful Jerry, I found out he was terrible with money and paying bills, so 2 months into our dating, he asked me to handle his money. I told him I would, but he would have to give me total control. From then on, he has given me every check. When we married, we opened just one checking, one savings, and I take care of the money. He gets $50.00 a week and that is just pocket money. I pay for everything, gas, haircuts, etc.
He has a credit card on him at all times in case he wants something and I'm not with him. He doesn't have to ask me if he can use it, all he has to do is bring me home the receipts so I know how much money I have to put back to pay the credit card off every month. It works out wonderfully for us. I can't imagine two people writing checks off the same account or having seperate accounts, but I'm sure it works for some couples. I guess it just has to be what works best for you.

My late husband and i used to put both our wages into the same account, but theres a lot of my friends still have their own accounts and an account where money for bills go, and i like that idea best. I'd never go back to having one joint account.

Hubby and I are the same way about money. Anything over $50 gets discussed beforehand (except gifts for each other). He does all of the money handling but we do discuss saving and investing strategies together. We have direct deposit into the savings for our paychecks and the only accounts that are seperate are our credit cards and our Roths. It works out well for us. I don't think that we have ever argued about money.

The best way to handle 2 incomes is to have a joint account for bills and emergencies, and each have your own account. You can also set up a joint account for a vacation fund.

Having your own bank account means you don't have to ask permission from each other to go and buy something.

Never, ever blend all of your incomes into one account and give each other an allowance. I'm sorry to say, but sometimes things aren't always "Happily ever after" and I know so many women who have made that mistake and had to leave the relationship for whatever reason and were trapped because they didn't have money of their own anymore, having put it all into a joint account.

You each should also have your own investments and retirement plans.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Never, ever blend all of your incomes into one account and give each other an allowance.

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I agree, it doesn't work for everyone, but for us, it's worked out beautifully. I can't remember the last time we argued, none the less about money.

We keep seperate bank accounts, but I have check writing privledges on his. I really round up the bills and we pay them out of our respective accounts --he makes more than I do, so I pay less of the bills--for instance, I pay the cable, he pays the gas & electric, I buy the food, he pays the phone bill...

I write the checks, he signs the ones from his account --that way I can keep track of things getting paid (not his strong suit) but he knows what's going on so he's not completely helpless if I'm not around.

This wouldn't work for everyone, but it works for us --coincidentially, this is how my parents have done it for 50 years My mom has always had her own job and account and they split the common bills.

I agreet that if you are both adults, no one should be getting an "allowance".

Originally Posted by JellyBella

I agreet that if you are both adults, no one should be getting an "allowance".

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Plus this way you both keep your independance

Well for years when we both had full time jobs the paychecks were deposited into joint account, bills paid, money put in savings and when we needed cash we took some.
Large purchases discussed before buying and since we don't keep much in checking we use CC. We both have debit cards but he carried transaction register/checkbook so I have to write the transaction in.

Now with my business I have separate account. I put some each month in joint savings and draw when I want spending money but the majority of funds in that account are for business expenses.

With the very part time job I started at the checks aren't very big so I keep about 25% in cash and deposit the rest or I'm thinking of getting all cash and paying for gas/groceries that way.

We've been married 23 years and this is worked so far.

All our money is put together in one account, but we get "free money" of our own each payday (we get paid monthly). Anything above and beyond what is in our individual free money budgets is discussed, otherwise we can spend what we have in there.

We'll be married two years on Oct. 14, and we're still working out the kinks in the system (like his idea that any computer stuff we buy comes out of our own free money..HA!).

But I think you should take the attitude that if it's not working out for both of you, it's always open for discussion and change. Keep it dynamic until you're BOTH happy with the situation.

Both our paychecks go into one account, but I do have a separate savings account and so does he. DH handles the bills, and I really would have a nervous breakdown if that was my responsibility. I don't know how he does it.

On thing he did do that I really find helpful is our checking account is actually separated into two accounts...one linked to our ATM cards and the other we can only use checks (or electronic paying). Most of our paychecks so into the check account for bills. Only a small amount goes into the ATM account where we have instand access to it. It's alot easier to limit spending when you see you only have $75.00 left in the ATM account, and not $600.

Use the envelope system. Ideal is to write out a budget that specifies EVERY dollar that is coming in. Savings (and tithing if you go to church) comes off the top. Then the house, car, food, and rest of the bills. Make two envelopes (one for you, one for him) and put a set amount in there every pay. Even if its only $10-20 at first, if you leave it in your "spending" money envelope, it will add up.

Whatever he wants to buy with his money, he can't buy till its there. Try very hard not to "borrow" from other envelopes.

I don't live with my boyfriend yet but we probably will live together starting next summer. Personally, I would prefer to stick with separate accounts, except for shared expenses. We will probably have a shared account in which we both put our share of the money that will go on the rent, bills, groceries, etc. and leave the rest in our own accounts (including our savings).

We each have our own account (we even have different banks ) but our accounts are both joint accounts which is very important in case anything happened to either of us so even though they are joint accounts I do not touch his account and he doesn't touch mine. We split the household expenses between us so that we each end up paying out approximately the same each month, i.e., I pay utilities and food - he pays insurances on house and car, any vehicle repair/licensing costs, new tires for the car if needed and we both pay into RRSP's. If I need extra money at any time, I'll ask, he'll give. Of course that works both ways. With money left over at the end of a pay period and before the next one, I transfer money over into a savings account I have for myself for my golf trip each year or for "extras".

All major purchases are discussed and agreed on beforehand.

We both have a Visa credit card but have a zero to $75.00 balance and that is only because my newspaper subscription and CAA fees automatically get charged to the VISA but we endeavour to pay it in full each month.

I also think it is important to have separate accounts so that neither of you has to feel the need to get permission to spend any money. My first husband used to handle all the money and give me an allowance. When we split up I have no idea how much money we had in the bank and I didn't get any of it. If I wanted anything I felt like I had to beg.

I work a full time job and am an adult therefore I should be able to spend a little money without asking permission.

We have multiple accounts. Pay goes into the savings account which gets good interest, and from that we put money into a checking account for everyday expenses (mainly grocery shopping). We also have a credit card that we pay all bills out of that we mostly pay off each month (just leave a small balance for credit rating purposes).

Neither of us are big spenders, so don't find it necessary to give each other an "allowance", but I can imagine that if money is tight, or someone has a tendency to spend money unnecessarily, then that would be useful.

Something else I would recommend is to go and see a financial advisor. They can help you map out your future plans, figure out what you want, and work out how to get there. It's a great way to set up your future.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

The best way to handle 2 incomes is to have a joint account for bills and emergencies, and each have your own account. You can also set up a joint account for a vacation fund.

Having your own bank account means you don't have to ask permission from each other to go and buy something.

Never, ever blend all of your incomes into one account and give each other an allowance. I'm sorry to say, but sometimes things aren't always "Happily ever after" and I know so many women who have made that mistake and had to leave the relationship for whatever reason and were trapped because they didn't have money of their own anymore, having put it all into a joint account.

You each should also have your own investments and retirement plans.

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ITA!

When I was working we had a joint checking for living expenses, and we each had our own checking for weekly spending(lunches, gas). I set the budget for him to 150$ a pay. Since gas has gone up I moved it to 200$. Anything over that amt and he has to use his own savings. He has a certain amt per pay deposited there.

We usually discuss all purchases small or large.

We keep three accounts: His, mine and our joint. Part of this is because we still have student loans, and getting them to change your banking info is about as easy as achieving world peace. However we find this works well. Mortgage and bills come out of the joint, and we keep our personal accounts for anything else. My hubby's terribly about remembering to pay bills, so this way he knows to just drop a certain amount into the joint after each pay and I'll pay it or set it up to be paid.

I guess a joint account would work for some couples. Me, personally, would never agree to that. I like my freedom, I make the money, and I can spend it on whatever. I like that I can go out and spend a few hundred dollars on a splurge buy (obviously donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t do that often) if I want to and my boyfriend couldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t care less. I am so independent that I think I would be very annoyed if I had to ask my boyfriend if I can buy something.

We split everything 50/50… took us awhile to get here, but we are good now. I pay him 50% of all our household bills once a month. He leaves cash in a box for me when I buy household items and when I go shopping I take his 50% out. It works for us and we still have our independence.

Both of our incomes go into the same account (and we've had a joint account since about 8 months into dating back in 2005!). Mine goes directly into checking, and we put his checks into our money market account and keep the cash out for daily spending. I've been managing his money for him probably since right before we lived together, and now I'm the one in charge of paying the bills, transferring $$ between accounts (savings, checking, money market, credit card), and making sure we have enough for purchases we make.

We made a decision that anything over $100 we would discuss with one another before buying. We even made our birthday and Xmas budgets at $100 (except this year, where the budget is "expensive". My gift to him is going to cost $460, and supposedly what he is getting me costs more than that. ). Rob loves to buy tools off ebay, and he spent about $220 last month getting them, but I mentioned that we need to watch our account balance, and he has held off until we get paid again. We have $20k in the bank saved for house stuff and emergencies, and I'd rather us not have to take any $$ out of there to pay for ebay purchases (which come directly out of checking). I keep track of what we've put on our credit card, what we've used our debit card for, and what has come out of our account through online purchases. We dont have to ask permission of one another to buy something, we just discuss it with each other and see if we actually need it. Like spending $500 on a tool that's not really necessary, when we could use the money for something more important. 99% of the time we agree on the outcome.

We haven't had a problem at all, and generally don't mind one another spending over $100, as long as we have it to spare. We wouldn't change a thing Even he tells everyone that he wants me to keep managing like I am - because then we'd probably be in a financial disaster otherwise

In my parent's case, it didn't work so well, because my mom always spent a lot of money, but she was also the one who did the bills and everything. So my dad didn't know they were in serious debt until they moved out of state and she admitted it before all the paperwork showed it. They still do have a joint account, but my dad is technically retired now, and they are tight with paying the bills so she cant shop as much and has limited credit limits on her CC's.

We have a joint account and have for years. It works out well for us. We pay the bills and then take $100 a week from the account for groceries. He pays debit for gas. If we have anything to buy, we usually are together when shopping so we don't need to discuss it.

This might not work for a lot of couples, but it has worked for us. Right now it doesn't look like we are saving any money though because we are spending so much on stuff for the wedding.