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Need some vibes for my grandma, but not the normal kind...

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
My grandma has alzheimers and has been in a nursing home for the last 4 years. It's been a long time since she's known who I am. In fact, the last time I was there she said I was the nicest nurse that she's had. I don't go to visit her near as often as I should because it just breaks my heart.

Anyway, I got an email from my aunt tonight. Grandma has stopped eating and drinking. She and my other aunt talked to the doctors and she is now considered "terminal". A feeding tube was an option, but the doctor and my aunts both agreed that it would be pointless and cruel, and I agree.

My grandmother is 93. My grandfather died 4 years ago at 92 and she has been lost, and has gotten worse ever since. She fell in love with him at her 16th birthday party and he was the light of her life. As hard as it is to loss my grandma, she wouldn't want to be kept alive with feeding tubes or life support.

We are going out to see her this week. I guess the vibes I'm asking for aren't for healing...because at 93 with alzheimers she isn't going to get better. I guess I'm asking for peaceful vibes for her. That sounds silly (and a bit morbid) but...well...I would appreciate them if you can spare them.
post #2 of 24
NO! It does NOT sound morbid or silly! You are just showing love and passion for your grandma. Many mega peaceful and prayers for your family.
post #3 of 24
It's not morbid at all. On some level, your grandmother has communicated her wishes, so I send vibes for her and for you all.
post #4 of 24
My grandmother had Alzheimer's too, so I can relate. She didn't even know who any of us were most of the time towards the last few years. She died last year at the age of 95.

I don't think it's morbid at all to want to see your grandma at peace. I hope her last days will be filled with peace, comfort, and love.

post #5 of 24
It is not morbid. I my died of dementia. we prayed for a peaceful death.
post #6 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much! I started this thread not even sure what I was going to write or what I actually wanted. This place is wonderful with all the support that is offered....sometimes it just leaves me speechless.
post #7 of 24
i completely understand. my paternal grandmother died @ 95... but her 'mind' was gone years before from Alzheimer's. i was her oldest grandchild, & she'd forgotten who i was about 10 years before she died. sending & for her & for you & your family.
post #8 of 24
Not morbid or silly at all....my grandmother is in the same boat as your but just not quite so bad yet (thankfully) so I definitely can say I understand how hard it is

Many prayers and vibes headed to your family and your grandmother
post #9 of 24
i hope that your visit goes well, and that peace will be with your grandma.
post #10 of 24
It's certainly not cruel Your Grandmas ready to be reunited with your Grandpa now

Lots of calming coming her way
post #11 of 24
Awwww, Bless her, many peaceful vibes for your Grandma
post #12 of 24
This is not morbid or silly. I am sending peacful vibes to your Gradma and hoping that your visit can go as well as possible.
post #13 of 24
I am really sorry you have to make this kind of decision. But she deserves some peace and dignity so I am sure you are doing the best you can in such a situation.
post #14 of 24
I hope that your grandmother goes peacefully. It is the kindest gift you could give to her because I have seen suffering and that is cruel.

At her age, she deserves to rest in peace. I know you know what she could go through, but think it is wonderful that you will let her go.

It will be hard for you and the rest of the family, but in the end it has to be about her.
post #15 of 24
for your grandma and an to guide her on her way. And for you.

My father has a type of dementia that is very similar to Alzheimer's. He still recognizes family but can't remember simple things like how to turn on his electric shaver. About two weeks ago he stopped eating and was beginning to go into renal failure. A few days in the hospital got him turned around at least temporarily. We already have a "Do Not Resuscitate" order for him, but that does not cover gradual deterioration. We're in the process now of deciding just how much medical intervention we want to authorize if his kidneys shut down completely. It's so hard to let go.
post #16 of 24
Your thoughts come from love and compassion, and those are GOOD qualities. I have similar thoughts about my father, which I try sometimes to push away, but he has no quality of life and neither does my mother while she cares for him. THese things are so difficult.
post #17 of 24
There is nothing morbid or silly about wanting a peaceful and dignified end to her life, when you know her time is approaching. Sometimes it's hard to acknowledge when the efforts we make are for us, not for the loved one. I'm glad to hear that those making these decisions are on the same page, and willing to let your grandma go in peace when she's ready.

Many that her remaining time is calm and she has a peaceful departure. to you and your family.
post #18 of 24
May her passing be a gentle one for her and your family.
post #19 of 24
Thread Starter 
Thank you all so much for your kind words, vibes and prayers and most of all your understanding. I heard from my aunt, and they did get her in a geri-chair today and she did eat a little bit. But, she can't talk now. She tries but nothing makes sense. DH and I are planning on going to see her tomorrow and honestly, I'm dreading it. Going to the dentist sounds better to me right now. The doctor says her weight is still good so nothing "major" should happen anytime soon. But, I just hate to see her like this. I know I need to go, but this isn't my grandma. This isn't the woman that I've known for all of my 38 years, and it just breaks my heart.
post #20 of 24
Your grandma has lived a long, wonderful life! You should be so proud of the life she's livedI'm sure you know she loves you even though she can't remember. I know how hard it can be.

Here are some peaceful for your grandma
post #21 of 24
May your Grandma, you and your family, all have peace in this difficult time
post #22 of 24
Not silly at all Will keep you and your grandmother in our prayers - pray for peace for her and strength for your family for the coming months after God takes her home.
post #23 of 24
You are giving your grandma the only thing you can - peace and a restful way of leaving you and your family.

You are not silly or morbid.

May her passing be peaceful and calm.

Many peaceful and calming thoughts coming your way from me.
post #24 of 24
Prayers and vibes for you, your family, and especially your grandma. This is a very hard time, and you hoping for a peaceful end for your grandma is an act of extreme love, it's neither silly nor morbid. In fact, it's probably the least selfish wish you can have. The selfish thing would be to keep her hanging on, despite being miserable and unaware. It is a very hard decision to let someone go, and it is for their sake and best left in God's hands at this point.

Just thinking of your situation makes me cry. My family went through the same thing four years ago, almost to the day... It seems like just yesterday.

and for all of you...
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