Need vibes - For a meeting to stand up for those who no longer can

After my mom died, a part of my world died with it and I blame the hospital for not caring enough to get her in sooner and ordering the necessary test that could have saved her life. She was completely yellow - due to the fact that one of her medications was slowly killing her liver all the while suffering horribly for 3 months. She had reactions to many medications and was very sensitive.

Why wasn't this test ordered earlier? Due to the incompetance and narrowmindedness of doctors who carry a huge ego it can only be perceived that most patients are lumped into a general category and all treated the same. However, every now and then you have a patient who is different and has severe allergies to many medications. When doctors no longer listen to their patient, do not believe them, and accuse them of conditions otherwise, that is where a line has to be drawn. This is what happened to her. They sent her home when they couldn't figure out what was wrong knowing she was getting worse.

For these reasons above, I filed a formal complaint against the hospital. I feel that they never showed her the respect that she deserved and she did all that they asked of her. She was stripped of her dignity and they failed horribly. They let her die.

In this whole process - her doctor died. Something I would not wish on anyone, but it still did not solve her care or lack of it.

The other day I received an email from Patient relations asking me if I wanted to meet with two doctors who are ready to discuss her case with me. One was a doctor she was referred to after her liver deteriorated and another in the same area as her doctor.

I am meeting with them on thursday at 3pm. I know my reasons are more than valid and I don't want it to happen to anyone else. I am not very good with confrontations, but my mom always stood up for what she believed in and since she can't, I have to. I am in the process of writing down when things were ordered and questions that need to be addressed.

Please send me vibes that I will somehow find the strength and courage to not falter. I am not a brave person, but having to dredge up all the pain in the process has only made me angry and strenghtened the lack of faith that I already have in the hospital.

If I can't even believe in a hospital to take care of their patients, then what is there left to believe in? Working there makes it even more difficult since I do not have the support I thought I had. This is more important than my job and if I had to find another one, I will. This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life and it has left me full of emotions and uncertainty of what their take will be about the care my mom received.

You are braver than you think, if you took the time to even start trying to do something about it. God will guide you through it.

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your mom.

Many are coming your way!

You have more guts then we did.
We wanted to sue over my mom but my Dad just couldnt do it because bad memories.

Originally Posted by mews2much

You have more guts then we did.
We wanted to sue over my mom but my Dad just couldnt do it because bad memories.

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That's how my dad is and he still had to go there for treatment. I also work there so at this point I am between a rock and a hard place. I hate the hospital so much I don't know how I get up everyday and go there to work.

I am just biding my time until I can do something about it. Until then, I have to cover all my bases and go through the hospital first otherwise they can claim I didn't.

Sending vibes for your brave fight for justice
It is esp. tough for you because you work there.
You could also call an attorney who specializes in wrongful deaths - at the very least, their support staff might know of someone in your area who could offer moral support. They can also give you pointers on how to conduct the meeting; it should cost nothing.
Hang in there, Tiger!

Is it the hospital or the doctors that you consider at fault?
I know that people usually sue both.

Originally Posted by Mom of 4

Is it the hospital or the doctors that you consider at fault?
I know that people usually sue both.

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The doctors because they should have tested her for any and all possibilities since they had no clue what was wrong. Also, I should NEVER have to contact the doctor to have her admitted because they knew how dire her situation was. Otherwise she would have died at home.

Wishing you the best! I've been in similar situations with my late husbands doctors. If there is anyway possible, take a tape recorder with you, especially if you are considering taking matters further. If anything, it will let them know just how serious you are!

It won't be as bad as you think. Remember you are in the right, so the doctors are the ones who should be dreading this meeting. Sending good vibes and good luck.

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

It won't be as bad as you think. Remember you are in the right, so the doctors are the ones who should be dreading this meeting. Sending good vibes and good luck.

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That's exactly what I'm hoping for!

Sabrina, if they give you answers will you be happy at that, or are you wanting to sue them?

for you my friend! ...

Wait... she was yellow and not one person could figure out that they needed to check her liver? The common lay person with no medical training/knowledge can usually recognize jaundice for what it is. I also thought it was fairly standard practice to check liver and kidney function when someone was sick and a doctor didn't know why - mine has been checked a couple times when I haven't really reason to be checked. Something looks off but my doc isn't sure why or what is causing it.

Her doctor and the hospital really failed her. I hope you have the courage to go through with this and don't let anyone make you bow out. Maybe you can make sure the hospital and doctors working there all get reviewed/scrutinized over this - hopefully that would lead to some improvement.

Have you looked for any sort of support groups in your area? Being able to share and ask for advice from those who have been there could be good for you.

Stick to your beliefs, don't let anything stop you, and think of it this way - it doesn't matter who you are/were. It matters who you can be. You can be strong enough to do this.

Originally Posted by strange_wings

Wait... she was yellow and not one person could figure out that they needed to check her liver?

The common lay person with no medical training/knowledge can usually recognize jaundice for what it is. I also thought it was fairly standard practice to check liver and kidney function when someone was sick and a doctor didn't know why - mine has been checked a couple times when I haven't really reason to be checked. Something looks off but my doc isn't sure why or what is causing it.

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They knew it was her liver, but they didn't know it was a cause of a major side effect of one of her medications. The one doctor suspected it was the meds, but did not order all what needed to be ordered. All of her doctors could see how sick she was, yet, failed to order any and all tests that dealt with the liver. That is what should have been done. When you don't know, you order anything and everything you can think of to rule out all possibilities, but this was done a little too late and therein lies my anger and lack of faith. I felt like no one truly cared because they let her go home knowing she was as sick as she was with no real answers.

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

Sabrina, if they give you answers will you be happy at that, or are you wanting to sue them?

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I want them to acknowledge that they screwed up and failed. My actions will depend upon how I feel that they handled her case after the fact.

You are doing the right thing. There are times when I should have stood up and it still bothers me sometimes that I didn't.
You are brave. You just haven't absorbed it yet.

My father sued after his first wife was killed by medical malpractice. It wasn't the money he wanted so much as a record of this guy being incompetent. She left behind two tiny children so my father put it in a trust for them.

If you don't feel brave pretend you are brave.

Originally Posted by CC12

If you don't feel brave pretend you are brave.

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I may have to. I'm always a bundle of nerves no matter what the situation is. I think remembering all that she suffered will also help.

I just emailed Patient Relations to ask what their normal protocol is once the meeting begins. I told her I want some form of documention that this meeting took place and what their conclusions were - either written or recorded.

Stay strong You can do this.

Every medication I take has warnings about liver damage. They should have known.

Every single medication, including OTC, has potential kidney and/or liver side effects.

Honey, you are stronger and braver than you think you are. This should bring attention to some things that need to be improved in your hopsital and maybe health care in general. Many going out to you. I'll be thinking about you on Thursday.

I agree, contact a wrongful death attorney also. It may be short notice but they should be able to help you, and have their unbiased medical staff review the records.

Honestly, I think you really should start looking for a new job soon. Not because of this or any fallout, but because it's just not good for YOU to still be working there right now. Too many memories, too much anger all of which is understandable, but not good for YOU.