Need advice ASAP daughter called in tears

Thanks everybody.

Jen lives in the "cottages," upper class dorms which really are cottages with kitchens. I gave her my recipes and she can and does cook. My recipes are healthy.

Haven't thought about the thyroid. She has always slept more than me but so does her dad. Ben takes after me.

Her roommate is actually nice. Glynnis had a summer internship here in the Bay Area (how funny is that - a New Yorker going to college in NY winds up with an internship 30 minutes from us) and we met her. She is pretty level headed, but as I said, she just turned 21.

I think that next semester will be better for Jen. She will be finished student teaching and she pretty much already has finished her requirements for graduating. That will be her time off to really have fun.

We just sent her flowers and she will be getting a Rosh Hashanah gift basket from us and we will see her in a couple of weeks.

I never thought of her as an overachiever. I always think of her as a daughter who takes her responsibilities seriously. Unfortunately, sometimes that means she picks up the slack for others. But there isn't a day that goes by that we aren't proud of her.

Thanks for listening.

you did a great thing by just sending her the flowers. I'm sure she will be amazingly happy to get them.

When I was in school, nearly every year I'd get overwhelmed a few weeks into the school year and break down and cry to my Mom. After that I'd feel better and get through or just adjusted to it all! I hope things calm down for her soon.

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I hope that you make exceptions to that rule

For example. If I'm sick and can't make it to work, I call. However, in 2004 I was so sick that I ended up being taken to the hospital by ambulance. So I couldn't call. My brother's ex-wife phoned my place of work and told them what was going on with me and to mark me ill for at least 2 weeks. Turns out it was more like 4 years!

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So being off for 4 years is different from being fired exactly how?

So sorry to hear about Jens woes

I remember a few times in my life when I just couldn't keep up the pace and broke down crying with my mom. Good thing you didnt call. She probably just needed to vent and hear your voice. Also, I dont see you being too pushy of a mom. Jen might be doing too much, but that what she wanted, so she will also have to decide when and if to scale down her work.

I hope she finds a good balance!

I can so relate! My daughter is a very strong, smart woman. But when life overwhelmed her, she would call me for sympathy and an encouraging pep talk. It's so hard to hear your daughter cry on the phone and your instinct tells you to get in your car and drive to wherever she is and make it all right.
She just needs her Mom's shoulder...she will be all right. Just be there for her, an ear and a shoulder and a hug...no matter how many miles are between you. Your daughter sounds like an amazing young woman, mine is, too!!!

I can remember calling my mom crying, just to vent. I'm glad everything is OK. She could also be a tad bit home sick with all the stress she's dealing with. Seeing her parents in October will probably make things loads better. Also, the gifts you sent will really brighten things up too.

My mom is a lot like you are, so I understand how your daughter is probably feeling right now: very much loved.

I've just read through this whole thread and seen the different reactions to your post.

I'll just say that you sound like an awesome mom. It's great that your daughter feels so comfortable with you that she, as an adult, can call and cry on your shoulder so to speak. I don't care how old we are, sometimes we all need a shoulder to cry on and who better than our mom.

Although I am not Jewish myself, I have friends who are and so know how important Yom Kippur is to those of your faith. I personally would encourage my daughter to go the 30 minute ride to be able to attend a synagogue more closely aligned with her faith. I imagine it would be very comforting for her.

My own daughter is 28, still lives at home with us and is one of my best friends. My hubby and I have always made an effort to keep open communication with her and as far as I know, she has been able to come to us with any issue (sometimes with too much information ).

I can feel your love for your daughter through your posts so I've no doubt she knows how well she is loved too.

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I can feel your love for your daughter through your posts so I've no doubt she knows how well she is loved too.

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... recent too I saw your post...

How is she today?...

Sounds like she needs a "mental day". I had to take those myself in college. She has to make that decision for herself, she's an adult. It isn't your obligation to do that, please don't baby her-it'll just make it worse for her when she has a real job in the real world.

I am so glad you care so much about your daughter, don't stop that-but you have to give her options instead of bailing her out