Pictures and Obituaries

goldenkitty45

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Speaking of "old pictures", can someone tell me why do families put pictures of the deceased person that are 30 or so years YOUNGER then the person that died? Why not use a more current picture (no more then 10 yrs old from the person's age). You read that the person was 80 yrs old and they have a photo of them when 30/40 yrs old.
 

rapunzel47

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I guessing that the thinking may be that people who have known the person recently don't need a picture, that it's more for those who knew him or her years ago, and they might not make the connection with a recent picture.
 

misty8723

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Speaking as a genealogist, it's kind of nice to see a picture of the person in their "prime," so to speak. An obituary is basically about celebrating a person's life - why does the picture have to be current?
 

marianjela

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Originally Posted by Misty8723

Speaking as a genealogist, it's kind of nice to see a picture of the person in their "prime," so to speak. An obituary is basically about celebrating a person's life - why does the picture have to be current?
I agree with this. I would like to be remembered and honored looking at what I perceive to be my best. Whether is was my in my 30's, 50's or 70's.

I think it is based on the individuals (and their family's) preference!

When my mother-in-law passed away of ovarian cancer, we didnt post her bald picture, nor did we use a picture of her with gray hair... we used a picture that she loved of herself, with her hair dyed and her make-up on! Sure she was younger in the picture, but we know she approved!
 
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goldenkitty45

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Maybe its just me, but it would be like taking one of my baby pictures or ones under 12 yrs old and putting it in the paper instead of a current one.

If you are gonna do a "prime" picture, then put it with one that is current. For those that know the deceased from recent years I just feel it should be more current.

Lets put it this way - if you could pick out a photo of yourself to put in the paper when you die, would you honestly pick out one that is 30/40 yrs old????
 

marianjela

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Well, if your 40 years old when you die, then of course I wouldnt choose a pic that was 30 years old. But when you have lived most of a century, I imagine there are novels of pictures to choose from and whatever the family's favorite memory or the deceased's favorite picture is - then use it. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

I personally would want to be remembered and immortalized in my best light!
 

yosemite

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I personally always thought it was a vanity thing. Having said that I know my mom preferred her younger pictures. Me, personally I'm not very photogenic so would prefer no pictures at all.
 

mbjerkness

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With my Father in law. We used a picture that he requested. He knew he didn't have long to live. When they found him they found a note and the picture.
 

butzie

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I agree that if one wants to put pictures in the OBITs that it really should be a good picture of the person in happier days. Happier days could be last week, or 20-40 years ago. Someone in the family will know which is the picture the loved one would like.

No one in my family uses photos for OBITs, just wedding and baby notices.
 

epona

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Is it normal in the US for people to have an obituary in the paper? Even in my local paper back home only locals who are well known in the community tend to have a published obituary, I can't imagine ever having one myself unless I became mayor of somewhere or founded a successful youth group or played the church organ for 40 years (OK that last one is highly unlikely considering I'm not Christian but you get the gist).

Just curious!
 

forensic

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I read the obits every day (just in case, you know? I might be in them!) But it does throw me a bit when it's a younger picture. I always figured the deceased wanted a better picture than their last nursing home ID photo.


I don't read the big obit section on the weekends... that's just depressing.
 

epona

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Originally Posted by SophieC

Yes, it is normal.
Ah OK, I was thinking I was missing something, and that was the point I was missing, thanks! If everyone who died where I live had a published obituary the local weekly would have to double in size at least - just this one London borough has a population of a quarter of a million people - and just the one 20 or 30 page local paper. If everyone who was in there wanted or expected a photo there wouldn't be room for it.
 
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goldenkitty45

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Not everyone does it, but enough to notice a few if you read the description and find out the person that died is 40 or so years older then the picture! Just an observation and question as to why.

I would think that even if you were ill, you'd still have a good picture of yourself in the last 10 yrs rather then resort to a clearly "old" picture that looks nothing like the deceased!
 

yosemite

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Epona - it is also quite popular here to put a memorial in the local paper every year on the anniversary of a deceased loved one. The newspapers have pre-prepared memorials/remembrances you can choose from if you do not wish to write your own.
 

epona

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Originally Posted by Yosemite

Epona - it is also quite popular here to put a memorial in the local paper every year on the anniversary of a deceased loved one. The newspapers have pre-prepared memorials/remembrances you can choose from if you do not wish to write your own.
Thanks, interesting information! Sorry if I've derailed the thread a bit, I love learning about and looking at the differences between our cultures- as much as we are "two nations divided by a common language"
similar can be said of our cultures too and it's something I find fascinating.

It wouldn't even occur to me to want an obituary in the paper, as long as my nearest and dearest knew of my demise and where to show up to drink themselves silly in memory of my life that would be fine and I can't think that anyone else beyond my immediate family and circle of friends would be that interested.


It is an aspect of culture that I find particularly interesting, I used to work in the death/funerary industry so it is something I for a few years spent my working day thinking about, and have read quite a lot of research about funerary practices, memorialisation etc - and I think obits are maybe seen as gaining a small amount of recognition, perhaps putting off for a couple of days your exit from this world (in print if not in body) - much in the same spirit as the Romans with their dedicated altars and tombstones - a tiny piece of immortality, even though that print too will fade.... "My name is Ozymandius...." to quote Shelley.
 

catkiki

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When a good friend's wife passed away, her family didn't have a funeral for her but just a memorial service. They had posters of her from the time she was a child until just a few months before her death. she was in her 40's when she passed. We had lost contact with her husband for several years and was shocked of her passing. But the memorial service with all the pictures of her life was awesome.
 

marianjela

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Back to the genealogy aspect...

As a genealogist, I dont know what i would do without these memorials.

Yikes.

As a person... I still value them. A good friend of mine from high school passed away a couple years ago. We had lost touch over the years. When I seen her obit in the paper I was shocked, but glad that I was able to attend the showing and service to say my goodbyes and honor her life.
 

epona

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Originally Posted by Marianjela

Back to the genealogy aspect...

As a genealogist, I dont know what i would do without these memorials.

Yikes.
Another interesting one - my brother is a genealogist and I don't think he's ever used an obit (given that many people here don't have one) yet has traced our family ancestry in pretty much its entirety back to the 16th century and one branch back to our arrival in England in the 9th century (from Saxony) using historical records, we have the electoral register available for viewing in libraries, full census information including names and addresses is released after something like 100 years, and the central records office where you can look up birth, marriage, and death certificates for modern records, and predating those we have parish records.

It takes a bit of effort but it is not so difficult here to find your ancestors and modern relatives if your family has been in the country for a few generations, I wonder if that is why we don't place such importance on the obituary?
 

gemlady

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I agree with what others have mentioned. Also, one consideration is that perhaps the person has not had a good photo taken of them in recent years. With Mom we were rushed and used what we could find. We used a high school pic and a pic from niece's wedding in 1990.

My genealogist distant cousin scours the daily obits for who might be related for her records.

Epona? Obits can be simple announcements (""Epona, loving wife of SilentNate and meowmy to Radar, Sonic and Jacob passed away. Friends may come for visitation tonight and tomorrow her remains will be set on fire in a grand Viking tradition...* ") to lengthly listings of their accomplishments, club memberships, etc., etc. These long ones the local paper is charging for.

* Yes, some folks have had the pets included. Pardon me for having a little fun.
 
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