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My morning at the doctors (kinda gross)

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
So, I had to go first thing this morning to get blood work done. My doctor just ordered it because he wanted to make sure everything was in working order, so nothing serious. Anyway, it was a fasting blood order so nothing to eat or drink after midnight. Ok, so I do without my morning coffee and get there first thing at 8:00am. The woman takes the blood, then hands me a little plastic cup.

I just look at her like "you've GOT to be kidding me!". Nothing since midnight (actually, a little after 10:00) and she expects something to be in my bladder? What little was there this morning I got rid of during my morning routine!

So, I'm in the bathroom and...nothing. I thought maybe if I turn on the sink the sound would do it. So I turn on the water and resume the position to catch any...umm...dribbles. Still nothing. So I start thinking (very dangerous before coffee). There's that old camp prank where you put someone's hand in a bowl of warm water so maybe that would work. So I wattle back over to the sink (Forget about pulling everything back up!) and turn on the warm water and stick my hand under it. Now, this of course is a health facility so the hot water heater it set at scalding, so after screaming and jumping up and down for a few seconds (very attractive in my state of undress, I'm sure) I add some cold and soak my hand. And wait. Nothing..not even the slightest urge.

Ok, so now performance anxiety has crept in and I'm starting to feel like a failure. I finally figure I'm not going to go if there's nothing there to get rid of, so I start drinking water straight from my cupped hand. I probably looked like someone lost in the desert that just found an oasis. FINALLY the urge started so I rushed (wattled) back over and assumed the position again and WOOHOO I got enough to cover the bottom! I was so proud of myself!!

I went back in the main room and the nurse said she was about ready to come and find me because I was gone for almost 10 minutes! I just shoved the cup at her and rushed out the door before she could say that wasn't a big enough sample. The kicker is, 1/2 hour later I REALLY had to go.
post #2 of 18
Doesn't that figure!

I can't believe they expected you to fill a cup after having nothing to eat or drink. Doctors

How about when you have a bladder infection and they keep telling you "that's not enough, that's not enough" I can't go anymore, that's why I'm here! To get meds!!!!

post #3 of 18
That was hilarious!!! Talk about adventures at the doctor's office
post #4 of 18
I am also cup shy. I can never go when they ask
post #5 of 18
How about when you're so dehydrated that you haven't even peed in a day or more? Both times that happened they had to wait till I was through a bag and a half of fluids.
post #6 of 18
Happens every time!

How they expect you to be able to go when you haven't had a drink since midnight is beyond me.
post #7 of 18
Umm...I hate to tell you, but I believe you can have water. Just nothing else. Clear it with your doctor, but I believe that's right. It might help you "accomplish your task" in a more dignified and swift manner!
post #8 of 18
Yes this has happend to me :shock: was not the most er.. nicest experiance.. or have u ever managed to get some in , then spill it!!!

Or even worse , before u go to the docs u think ur clever buy filling a old bottle up with er pee.. and then u get there and hes like yeh can i have fresh sample??
lol
Jess x
post #9 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by clixpix View Post
Umm...I hate to tell you, but I believe you can have water. Just nothing else. Clear it with your doctor, but I believe that's right. It might help you "accomplish your task" in a more dignified and swift manner!
NOW you tell me! To me fasting is "nothing at all", but I guess water really wouldn't have screwed with anything. But, then again, the only other fasting I've really dealt with is with my animals and DH and that was all before surgery so water wasn't allowed either. Oh well, I'll know to ask next time.
post #10 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by junior_j View Post
Yes this has happend to me :shock: was not the most er.. nicest experiance.. or have u ever managed to get some in , then spill it!!!

Or even worse , before u go to the docs u think ur clever buy filling a old bottle up with er pee.. and then u get there and hes like yeh can i have fresh sample??
lol
Jess x
I would have cried if I had spilled it! I have managed to go and not get one drop in the cup. That is when you wish you were male!
post #11 of 18
a few years ago I changed doctors and my old doctor always told me to fast and part of my yearly exam was a blood test, sooo with this new doctor I had an afternoon appointment around 2 or 3 o'clock and i figured that I would have a blood test and have to fast for it. I was so mad when he told me that he wasn't even going to do a blood test. He told me I don't really need one until I'm in my 30's and it's a general practitioners way of making money off of your insurance company. I was soo hungry I just wished he would have taken my blood anyway so it wasn't all for nothing.

When I was younger my mom is kinda weird and she would just get us to go pee in a cup at home and take it to the doctors office. I never understood that, and I hope she doesn't still do that Maybe the doctor we were going to didn't take the samples at the office, I dunno. You just reminded me about that with this post and now I'm kind of perplexed as to why mom mom did it that way.
post #12 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzles View Post
a few years ago I changed doctors and my old doctor always told me to fast and part of my yearly exam was a blood test, sooo with this new doctor I had an afternoon appointment around 2 or 3 o'clock and i figured that I would have a blood test and have to fast for it. I was so mad when he told me that he wasn't even going to do a blood test. He told me I don't really need one until I'm in my 30's and it's a general practitioners way of making money off of your insurance company. I was soo hungry I just wished he would have taken my blood anyway so it wasn't all for nothing.

When I was younger my mom is kinda weird and she would just get us to go pee in a cup at home and take it to the doctors office. I never understood that, and I hope she doesn't still do that Maybe the doctor we were going to didn't take the samples at the office, I dunno. You just reminded me about that with this post and now I'm kind of perplexed as to why mom mom did it that way.
I think it all depends on what your being tested for. I was told one time (granted 15 years ago) to bring a sample in a clean container. I was in college and I used what was available...an empty Mountain Dew bottle and they said that was fine. I carried it up to the health center in my back pack along with my books and everything. This was just for birth control though, so they weren't doing a full work up. Today, I was getting everything from diabetes to cholestrol to Thyroid. So that probably has to be more sterile.
post #13 of 18
Certain things break down in urine rather quickly. Hence why they need it done there and why they rush it off to the lab.
post #14 of 18
I just had the best laugh reading your post
post #15 of 18
I'm usually ok with peeing in cups, but a while ago I had a horrible UTI, and I finally gave up and went to a 24 hour doctor's office to get some medication for it. I had been taking uristat, it's a urinary pain reliever, and it makes you pee BRIGHT orange. I missed the cup, and peed all over the container, and some of my hand, and I was so grossed out, and horrified, I ran to the sink to wash everything, and it wouldn't come off! The label of the container, and my hand were both STAINED bright orange. The nurse gave me such a disapproving look when I handed her my weird orange pee.
The most awkward part was when I got back to my fiance's house, and he asked me why my hand was orange. We hadn't been dating for very long at that point, and explaining to him was even worse. He was nice though.

Oh, and when I had to fast for a blood test, I was told not to eat or drink anything, and that I was allowed to have a few sips of water here and there, but that I should avoid it if I could.
post #16 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieJerks View Post
I'm usually ok with peeing in cups, but a while ago I had a horrible UTI, and I finally gave up and went to a 24 hour doctor's office to get some medication for it. I had been taking uristat, it's a urinary pain reliever, and it makes you pee BRIGHT orange. I missed the cup, and peed all over the container, and some of my hand, and I was so grossed out, and horrified, I ran to the sink to wash everything, and it wouldn't come off! The label of the container, and my hand were both STAINED bright orange. The nurse gave me such a disapproving look when I handed her my weird orange pee.
The most awkward part was when I got back to my fiance's house, and he asked me why my hand was orange. We hadn't been dating for very long at that point, and explaining to him was even worse. He was nice though.

Oh, and when I had to fast for a blood test, I was told not to eat or drink anything, and that I was allowed to have a few sips of water here and there, but that I should avoid it if I could.
Yeah, I would have said "ummm...cool-aid, yeah, that's it. It's cool-aid!"
post #17 of 18
The nurses always roll their eyes at me because I won't do a sample until they give me some gloves!
post #18 of 18
About 3 yrs ago I had to take my youngest son for a physical to start pre-school.
They required a urine sample from him...... When the Dr. told me I thought "Oh, this is gonna be fun"
Well, Deacon had no problem peeing in the cup. Matter of fact, he thought it was fun!
Well, there was this slot in the wall in the bathroom that you put the sample cup in and you spin it around and it comes out at the otherside directly into the lab.
Well, when I put it in there and spun it, Deacon got upset and said " Where did my pee go?!"

Then after they took blood he asked the nurse, "are you gonna give my pee back?"

I think I laughed for 2 days about that!
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