TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › "I can do anything you want me to do"...
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

"I can do anything you want me to do"...

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
that's what my neighbor said, it was in response to some question I had about his vacuum (I was helping him out, he had an appraiser coming today and was way behind) and couldn’t help but heave a little internal wistful sigh. He's married. I wouldn’t say I have a crush on him, its more of an admiration (really nice guy, amazing shoulders..maybe a little crush) but I really feel guilty because he’s married. I shouldn’t even be thinking about him! I feel like I’m being disrespectful to his wife, even though obviously I’d never ever even flirt with him or anything like that . Isn’t that stupid?
But still "I can do anything you want me to do" *sigh*
post #2 of 16
First, good for you for knowing you'd never actually do anything!

Second, with the first in mind, it sure is nice to have someone like that nearby!

I agree that it would be weird if you daydreamed about him or something, but appreciating him as a friend, neighbor, and big help (with nice shoulders!) isn't something to feel guilty about!
post #3 of 16
pfft your allowed to look it's not like your going to act on it so don't worry about it!
post #4 of 16
Looking without touching is perfectly fine!
post #5 of 16
Don’t feel too guilty. It’s natural to look. My boyfriend is the hottest stud muffin in the world to me but I occasionally have my “Daaaammmmnnnnn†moments regardless if they are married or not. It’s a human thing, don’t feel bad
post #6 of 16
As the others have said, you can look as long as you dont touch! We can all dream!!!
post #7 of 16
As long as you know where to draw the line I don't see a problem. A lot also depends on how you act around him with and without his wife.

We have one neighbour who is about 15 years younger than me who seems to have a huge crush on my hubby. When he's outside working she'll find any excuse to walk by so she can talk to him. I can be out gardening and she'll talks to me a bit but she "sparkles" at my husband. A couple years ago hubby and our daughter were going to our local outdoor tennis club and this woman was also a member. Our daughter said you wouldn't believe how she behaved around my husband - like a silly schoolgirl. Of course hubby loves it because it feeds his ego. I have to say it annoys me but only because of the way she "acts" around him.
post #8 of 16
Thread Starter 
thanks guys, Im feeling a little less guilty now : )
I can definitely say I dont act any differently around him, I brough bar cookies and a loaf of zucchini bread over but I did the same for the other neighbors and I was just being, well, neighborly.
post #9 of 16
Hey, if you DIDN'T notice a physically attractive guy, I would worry about you! I think that would mean you were clinically dead. It's kind of like going to an art museum. You can appriciate the beauty and perfection, but you wouldn't actually want to steal it, right?

It's kind of like the guy that sits next to me at work. Now, he's not married but I am, AND he's a lot younger than me (well not a LOT). But, that doesn't mean I can't appriciate the view as he walks away in a nice pair of chinos!
post #10 of 16
I see you are in New England so you can't be the grad student who moved close to us to be near my husband.

Getting to be friends with both him and his wife is the best thing you can do... if they like you, they might introduce you to some of his friends.
post #11 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
I have to say it annoys me but only because of the way she "acts" around him.
It has ALWAYS annoyed me that women wouldnt be more respectful to other women.

I wouldnt care how good looking a guy was, I would NEVER flirt or put myself in a situation to disrespect his wife in any way at all. Just be careful dont cross that line. And be careful not to react to him in a way that you wouldnt want someone reacting to your SO.
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
It has ALWAYS annoyed me that women wouldnt be more respectful to other women.

I wouldnt care how good looking a guy was, I would NEVER flirt or put myself in a situation to disrespect his wife in any way at all. Just be careful dont cross that line. And be careful not to react to him in a way that you wouldnt want someone reacting to your SO.
I always found it amazing the different values different folks had. I wouldn't even date a fellow if he had gone out with a friend of mine and can't imagine how some women don't honestly care if a man is married or not. I also wonder how those same women would feel if someone else came onto their man and would they have the same attitude of all's fair in love and war or would they have a whole different feeling about it. I personally try to live my life treating everyone as I would like to be treated. I certainly can look and appreciate a nice looking man - that's pretty normal IMO.

BTW, I'm not saying you (the OP) is doing any of this - it just seemed to move along to this sort of thing.
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by calico2222 View Post
It's kind of like going to an art museum. You can appriciate the beauty and perfection, but you wouldn't actually want to steal it, right?
haha, that's a great way to think of it!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
I see you are in New England so you can't be the grad student who moved close to us to be near my husband.
Oh dear! : (


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
And be careful not to react to him in a way that you wouldnt want someone reacting to your SO.
That's how I think about everything, never do something that you wouldnt want someone to do to you.
post #14 of 16
As my DH would say "just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't read the menu."
As long as you are just looking, and not flirting it's fine. I bet his wife knows he's good looking and must be secure if she is not right there standing over him.
post #15 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by krazy kat2 View Post
As my DH would say "just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't read the menu."
As long as you are just looking, and not flirting it's fine. I bet his wife knows he's good looking and must be secure if she is not right there standing over him.

That's the secret - security in oneself. My hubby plays in a band and I think he's pretty good looking (and judging by the number of women that come on to him, I guess he must be ) but I know there is more to him than good looks. I don't worry when he's out in clubs playing because I know he likes to look at nice looking women but he comes home to me. Our daughter and I have always meant more to him than some easy one-night stand.
Most of the females that come on to married men are not the type of woman most men would want to risk losing a loving family for. I have seen the "groupies" and the women that would bed Godzilla if he had a guitar hung around his neck and they are pathetic excuses for women. Fortunately I have a husband smart enough to realize that even if they are pretty on the outside, they are pretty ugly inside if they stoop so low.
post #16 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonaxLisa View Post

Oh dear! : (


Oh, no, it is fine, lol! He has no romantic interest in his grad students.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › "I can do anything you want me to do"...