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Does Phoebe miss her brother?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Today I had to put Tornado to sleep. He had renal failure and looked so bad this morning that I knew it was just time. Tornado and Phoebe are 12 year old brother and sister. The two never really bonded and usually paid no attention to each other. They tend to stay in different rooms, but might pass each other at the food bowl or litter box. For the past 6 months while Tornado has been sick, I am not sure the two spent any time together.

I am sure Phoebe must know something is up. While she might not know Tornado isn't here anymore, I think she knows he was sick yesterday. Tonight I found her on my daughter's bed smelling where Tornado must have been sleeping, as their was cat hair on my daughter's comforter. The vet is assuming since the cats really never interacted that Phoebe might not even react to Tornado being gone.

My concern is we are going out of town in 10 days. Usually went we are gone a neighbor comes over to feed the cats and change the litter. In the past, Phoebe and Tornado had each other; how will Phoebe handle being alone for a week? I have no idea if she and Tornado ever interacted while we are out of town. I would assume not, since they don't when we are home, but maybe they do when it is just the two of them.

Do you think in 10 days if she is grieving, she will be ok to leave alone? Phoebe is afraid of everything, so boarding her would not be good. She has asthma, so if she gets frightened she would end up making herself sick. I would rather leave her home alone than send her to a kennel or my parents house as I know that will really stress her.

I think I have accepted putting Tornado to sleep, but I can't get ahold of my daughter to tell her. She is in college and knows this time was coming, but I know she will still be upset. Why is it she never answers her phone when I need to talk?
post #2 of 12
i was very fortunate [altho i didn't think so at the time] in that i acquired a new kitten about 3-4 months before my Mouse [my Pixel's littermate] left for the bridge
so Pixel wasn't left completely alone. however, since Mouse died while at the vet's, in Pixel's eyes, her sister left & never returned. silly as it might seem, i explained to her [thru storms of tears!] that Mouse had gone to the bridge & wouldn't be returning. i think it helped...
i'd explain to Phoebe, if it were me.
for you & a for your boy.
post #3 of 12
When Stormy died last Dec I had alot of trouble with Meeko. She became very upset and depressed and I had to take her to the vet. She had blood tests and they were ok then in jan I lost Yoshi Meekos son who she was not close with like she was with Stormy. After taht she became very sick and had a almost 105 fever and just layed there. I hope your cat will not get upset like that. Meeko saw how sick Stormy was and Yoshi was getting worse and worse. What helped Meeko is we got my Oreo 2 weeks before Stormy died from Kidney failure. Meeko also has become friends with Sasha who she used to stay away from. I am sorry you lost him.
post #4 of 12
I'm sorry for your loss. Rest in peace Tornado.
post #5 of 12
RIP Little Tornado, play happily over the bridge sweet one
post #6 of 12
I'm so sorry you lost Tornado.

Sometimes, we cannot gauge how close a pair of kitties are. Even though we may not see them interact, it does not mean that a loss of one of them will not affect the other. Can't understand why your vet was so sure about that.

Cassie and Wukong are mother and son. They were a very closely bonded pair. Where one went, the other would follow. They constantly sought each other's company, slept in close proximity to each other, groomed each other several times a day, and played with each other as well.

When Wukong fell sick with FIP, I told Cassie what was going on, and that Wukong would have to be put down soon before he started to really suffer.

Contrary to what I expected, Cassie was completely fine with his passing. She hardly ever looked for him, nor looked sad. Her appetite was normal, and she played with us as normal. In contrast though, the dog they lived with went into mild depression and went off his food for days even though the cats were never close to him at all... poor boy.
post #7 of 12
I'm so sorry Although they never bonded Phoebe will know, poor thing

post #8 of 12
Thread Starter 
So far I think Phoebe is ok. She ate as normal and is currently sleeping on my bed where she lands once my husband leaves for work. She did seem to look for Tornado last night, but just walking around a bit; otherwise, all in normal here. I will keep a close eye on her this week before we leave town.

While we are gone I will make sure the neighbor child looks for Phoebe each day and to make sure she is eating. Phoebe has asthma and is on a daily inhaler. When we go out of town, I give her a steroid shot since she will not get her inhaler. The steroid makes her Miss Happy; she becomes this very sweet cat that loves attention! Otherwise, Phoebe pretty much keeps to herself and will leave a room when someone else comes in. With her steroid shot, she is looking for us begging for attentions; it is so funny to see this shy cat act this way!

Thank you for your well wishes. My daughter was upset with me when I called her at college, but I know it wasn't really me she was upset with. She did not like receiving this kind of news at school and wanted to know why I didn't know days before that he was so sick. Actually on Saturday he was in the kitchen eating some leftover chicken happily. I figured when he wasn't eating much that eating chicken that he loves wouldn't hurt him. Unfortunately, this was the second time she received new about Tornado by phone; when he was diagnosed with Renal Insufficiency, my daughter was also away at school. While she was home this summer we talked about what we would do when the time came. I guess she just thought she would have some warning instead of being told on night that he was gone. She thought I was too casual when telling her, although I don't know how else I could have told her. She will be ok in time and I know this was the right thing to do for Tornado.
post #9 of 12
it can be a strange time. when i lost my beloved janet to FIP his 8 month old buddy milo was very quiet and withdrawn, he obviously missed him badly. and that was what prompted us to find him another companion, shinobi, a month later.

tabitha however, has never looked back. she did not bond with janet in the 5 years they lived together and she spends far more time indoors now.

i guess sometimes there is little or no reaction to another cat's passing. phoebe sounds to be doing well and that is what matters.

for you and your family for the loss of tornado.

RIP precious soul.
post #10 of 12
I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest in Peace Tornado.
post #11 of 12
I had many cats come and go while I Fred had for 18 years, and he acted differently with each one. We had a red tabby named Webb, and I thought we would lose Fred, too, at first. I picked Webb up and put him in a box for Fred to see (Webb has sneaked out and was hit by a car) and Fred cuddled him in the box and cleaned his face. He got out and we buried Webb. Fred sat for a week and howled. He would not eat, and slept only on Webb's grave.He finally accepted Webb being gone, and after that I guess he learned that his friends come and go. Hissy says you should tell him if something is going to change or if their friend is not coming back. It seems to work well.
I am sorry for your loss of Tornado.
post #12 of 12
I'm so sorry about Tornado. I lost my Jag to renal failure on Monday, too. I'm still devastated and I have two kitties at home to comfort. Peanut was Jag's buddy and he seems to be doing okay. Hoopie, who didn't get along with Jag, seems to be a-ok.

When I brought the carrier home empty Peanut was looking for Jag. It was heartbreaking. I keep telling him how sorry I am that Jag was sick and I couldn't save him. He's been a big love and seems to sense the sadness hanging in the air.

It's so lonely here. Even with the other two! Even my husband, who's normally the "strong" one seems to be lost without Jag.
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