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Did anyone get married young? - Page 2

post #31 of 39
I got married at 18,Ted 21,we just had our 35 ann.only after knowing each 2 months!Not Peg,either!
post #32 of 39
For those experienced saying that you were too young, may I ask if there are any specific reasons why you think age was the factor?
post #33 of 39
I've had people give me trouble for being married "young", and I agree with them in general. You should get married when you know who you are and when you're done running around and being crazy. If you're still "finding yourself" you'll want to experiment in ways of living and that's not likely to be consistent with already having decided who you want to spend your life with.

However, I'm really boring. I had an interesting sex life in college, but I am a home-body who likes to walk for fun, and that's about it. I'm also too anti-social to have a busy social life. So I'm happy being settled down.

When I got married, I was 25 and my spouse was 33. We've been married for three years, and it's going great!

A par of married high school sweethearts I know are both the only person the other even dated. They didn't get married until they were both 22 though, when they graduated from college. They go to a marriage councilor because one of them has some problems with mental health and needs more help than she gets. I don't think it would be any different if they waited until they were older to get married.
post #34 of 39
Depends on what you call young
I knew from the minute I met this man at 18 years of age we would get married. We dated exclusively and with no break-ups for some years, then got married when we both graduated with bachelors. We have been happily married for years and deeply in love the entire time we have known each other. I consider myself very lucky.
post #35 of 39
Originally Posted by sarahp View Post
I wouldn't have wanted to get married much younger, what I wanted at 24 was very different to when I was 21.
post #36 of 39
Originally Posted by cococat View Post
...We have been happily married for years and deeply in love the entire time we have known each other. I consider myself very lucky.
Very lucky indeed! Good for you!
post #37 of 39
We married at 21 after graduation and had dated since.... age 15. High school sweethearts.
It's been 33 years of marriage now and he's my best friend. I admire and respect him and he continues to grow as a person, he's never done learning or becoming a better person. The only other person I admire as much, is his mother, they are very much alike.

Do I think we are the exception to the rule? Absolutely. Luck, hard work or destiny? A bit of all three and two people that truly like each other as well as loving each other.

Age is generally a good predictor of maturity level, but not always.
Being older allows some people to become more firmly entrenched in their beliefs, habits and they lose that flexibility that is needed for living and growing with another person.

Predicting the outcome of any marriage is impossible, there are just too many factors, and age is just one of them.
post #38 of 39
I think it honestly depends on the people and how much effort and love they continually put into the relationship. I don't think that you wake up every day fabuliously in love with your SO.....but I think that you learn what makes each other tick and continually work to keep the spark alive in your marriage and to compromise and learn how to make each other happy.

My sister Kimmy got married when she was 18 and her husband was 19 - they just celebrated 14 years together last month They are still going strong and I can definitely see how much they love each other in the way they talk and act. I've learned soo much from them and continually ask them for advice!

My oldest sister Monica and her husband and been married for 22 years (23 in November). They also got married when they were 18 & 19. And they are still doing wonderful.

My mom on the other hand got married when she was 17 and later divorced her first husband when he came back from war hooked on drugs and wouldn't get help. She went on to marry 2 more times both ending in divorce. (AMy sister's Monica and Kimmy and I all have the same mother but different dad's. My sister Debbie and I have the same dad but different mom's).

I know that her marriages didn't work out not just because they weren't right but also because of her personality and the way she never gives in or budges. I adore and love my mother- but she is probably the worst person when it comes to relationships because she thinks that all men are bad. It has taken my sisters and I years to try and convience her that there are good men out there (our husbands for one) and that she really should have a different mindset. She is set in her ways though and I don't believe she will ever remarry or be happy in a relationship if she does marry again unless she is willing to learn to compromise and trust another person. I love her, so i don't mean any of that in a mean way- just saying she's my example of what not to do in a marriage I suppose. She spent years trying to convience me all men were evil and other nonsense- but thankfully I had a great man (DH) prove me otherwise

So in my view- i think that people can get married young and have loving lasting relationships - but i think all marraiges take work and people have to understand that. You just can't give up when you're frusterated or angry- that's not what it's about.

( I'm 23 and DH is 32 (9 yrs older than me to the day lol). I don't think age matters so much as your willingness to work together as a team and constantly try to show each other how you care for them.)
post #39 of 39
I met my husband when he was 18 and I was 19. We were friends for about two years, dated for 8 months, and then got married at ages 21 & 22. We have been married about 3 and 1/2 years.

Things are going very well for us. DH's parents got married when she was 14 and he was 19. They are from Kentucky, and at the time that was fairly commonplace. Anyway, they are still together and happy, and it has been almost 40 years.

There is a lot of great advice in this thread about relationships. I agree that the things that people want at 21 are different than what they want at 24 or 25, but if you find the right person at a younger age, it is highly likely that they will evolve and grow along side you. You will develop and change in ways that support each other, and you will both grow as people with your partner's support. That has been my experience, anyway.
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