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post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Ok, well from yesterday when I posted about dh's dad having cancer, and brain tumors ok..well, dh was never close to his dad.to him, he was just a dead beat dad..welllll..I have a problem....his dad lives all the way up in Omaha Nebraska, and it takes about 7-8 hours to drive there...having to fill the tank up at least 3 different times...costing about $60 or more on the way there then again $60 on the way back home....well,,,,he DOESN'T want to go...he doesn't want to talk to him either....he has his personal reasons for it, and I don't pressure him in doing what he doesn't want to do but his mom and sister are practically telling him he is going and that is that....they want to go this weekend, or before...my husband needs work, and he can't just jump out and take off of work right now.....I told him he ought to at least call him if he isn't going to go up there, but what makes me so mad is his sister and mom just keep pressuring him into it..I am about to step in to this, and tell them to back off because it is ticking him off and me as well...i know I don't like it when people pressure me into something I don't want to do, but what would you do if you were me? stay out of it, or say what I feel??
I want to stay out of it, but I swear if they keep calling him and bugging him at work they will hear something from me....they have no respect when it comes to things like this...no matter what everyone else feels, they don't care what it is, they think they are right, and everyone should do what they say.....I don't want to but man.....it is just going to be hard to stay quiet..I have a big mouth and it is hard to keep it shut when something is disturbing me or anyone in my family...:O)
I know I am bad..i just want them to let him be, and let him make the decision and they respect how he feels....it isn't easy for anyone right now and just because he doesn't feel like they do, they shouldn't pressure him ya know...ohh well..I will hush now....Ido thinkhe should call though..I am sorry to bore you all with this....I am just aggrivated and frustrated...
post #2 of 5
I would first of all say that you need to support his decision. Its a very emotional time. His mother and sister have very different reasons for their choices, and he does not need to go just because they want him to.

The bottom line, the way I see it, is he should not make a choice that he will regret later. This is not about his father, or his mother and sister, it is about your husband being able to live peacefully with his own decision for the rest of his life. So you need to help him work through the choice to go or not go, based on his own emotional needs, and nobody else's pressures.
post #3 of 5
I agree that he does need to settle this in his own mind. Not for anyone else's benefit, but for his own. However, if he were to go just because he was pressured into it, how would that help anyone? It would not help your husband or his father. It has to be his choice and his choice alone. Would his father really want to see his son if his son didn't want to see him? He already isn't feeling well. Just think of the tension that would be in that room.
post #4 of 5
I'm with hubby. He's got to do what's best for him. HE needs to tell his family to back off, though. Coming from you, it will only foster more resentment. Choose your battles, carefully.
post #5 of 5
I have to agree with Cindy on this one. Hubby needs to stand up to his family for himself. You can't fight this one for him, though I know it must be beyond frustrating. They have to know it's his decision and not yours. Family politics can get really nasty, and it's generally best not to get involved unless asked. Just my 2 cents.
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