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lonely...

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
how come i feel sooo lonely, even when am in a relationship?
post #2 of 22
Oh, honey... I'm sorry that you feel that way.

Sometimes I feel that way, too. And then I try harder to communicate with my BF, tell him how I feel and how important certain things are to me. And since he values our relationship, he tries to work with me when, for instance, I feel taken for granted. He's opened up a lot more with me, too.
post #3 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
Oh, honey... I'm sorry that you feel that way.

Sometimes I feel that way, too. And then I try harder to communicate with my BF, tell him how I feel and how important certain things are to me. And since he values our relationship, he tries to work with me when, for instance, I feel taken for granted. He's opened up a lot more with me, too.
aww, that's good of your boyfriend. it's strange how i can go from being happy, to really sad in the space of minute's!
post #4 of 22
Sometimes, a person feels lonely inside b/c there's something missing in their lives, or an empty void of some sort. It probably has nothing to do with your relationship..

Have you ever talked with a counselor about this? They're usually pretty good at determining what's lacking inside of you..
post #5 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittKatt View Post
Sometimes, a person feels lonely inside b/c there's something missing in their lives, or an empty void of some sort. It probably has nothing to do with your relationship..

Have you ever talked with a counselor about this? They're usually pretty good at determining what's lacking inside of you..
thank's, no i havn't. am not sure what it is, it's got to be one of the thing's that's changed in my life, & that's not much.
post #6 of 22
Sometimes we think the other person should or could filful our needs. Only you can fulfill your needs. When the other one is not meeting your expectations, you feel let down and lonely.

Maybe this is not the right relationship for you. If you want to talk more about it, I'll be glad to listen and offer advice (re: relationships) - just pm me
post #7 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45 View Post
Sometimes we think the other person should or could filful our needs. Only you can fulfill your needs. When the other one is not meeting your expectations, you feel let down and lonely.

Maybe this is not the right relationship for you. If you want to talk more about it, I'll be glad to listen and offer advice (re: relationships) - just pm me
thank's, i'll PM you now.
post #8 of 22
Have you not got any friends apart from your bf?.
post #9 of 22
Oh I am so sorry sweetie.
Could you maybe be feeling depressed?
Sometimes we are at an impasse in our lives where we are not quite sure what we want anymore or become unhappy with status quo.
I am sure Sassy missing has not helped matters either.
My door is always open for a chat too.
post #10 of 22
Aw im sorry i have no advice for you but i can offer you a cyber hug! (((hugs)))

Jess x
post #11 of 22
you have TCS... and your kitts....


...kindly...your friend.......
post #12 of 22
I just started seeing a therapist. It's really helpful. They can help you with whatever it is you are going through and feeling. I would recommend trying it out. It could be that your bf isn't right for you, but it could be something else going on inside you. You could be a little depressed and not realize it.

I hope it gets better honey.
post #13 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by xLaydeexTaniax View Post


aww, that's good of your boyfriend. it's strange how i can go from being happy, to really sad in the space of minute's!
Hmmm... as others have said here, that sounds like it could be depression and it could be biochemical. I would seek some professional help... and you can always talk here.
post #14 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosiemac View Post
Have you not got any friends apart from your bf?.
yeh, i've got load's of friend's.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CC12 View Post
Oh I am so sorry sweetie.
Could you maybe be feeling depressed?
Sometimes we are at an impasse in our lives where we are not quite sure what we want anymore or become unhappy with status quo.
I am sure Sassy missing has not helped matters either.
My door is always open for a chat too.
thank's, am not sure whether am depressed, i really don't know. your right though, Sassy going missing didn't help at all, but i've got my other kitty's to comfort me when needed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by junior_j View Post
Aw im sorry i have no advice for you but i can offer you a cyber hug! (((hugs)))

Jess x
thankyou!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoolCat View Post
you have TCS... and your kitts....


...kindly...your friend.......
aww, thankyou! your right, my kitty's are alway's here whenever i need them!

Quote:
Originally Posted by greenvillegal View Post
I just started seeing a therapist. It's really helpful. They can help you with whatever it is you are going through and feeling. I would recommend trying it out. It could be that your bf isn't right for you, but it could be something else going on inside you. You could be a little depressed and not realize it.

I hope it gets better honey.
thankyou.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AddieBee View Post
Hmmm... as others have said here, that sounds like it could be depression and it could be biochemical. I would seek some professional help... and you can always talk here.
thank's!
post #15 of 22
It does sound like you may be suffering from depression. If so take heart there are a lot of fantastic treatments that work really well for making you feel better..Make a appointment with your doctor and talk to him honestlly about how you feel..see what he says, it's a first step towards feeling better....
post #16 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by tierre0 View Post
It does sound like you may be suffering from depression. If so take heart there are a lot of fantastic treatments that work really well for making you feel better..Make a appointment with your doctor and talk to him honestlly about how you feel..see what he says, it's a first step towards feeling better....
thankyou!
post #17 of 22
Maybe trying a new hobby would help? If you're a little depressed or feeling lonely, having a fun activity to look forward to on a regular basis might help.
post #18 of 22
When i was with my ex i felt that way but i didn't have many friends to go to, at least not the right ones that made me happy and comfortable for me to be my self. Something large was missing, sometimes i knew what it was other times not. When we broke up, i had to work on my self, picked up my pieces, i finally found the right people to hang out with, the people i hung out with before were not bad, just we didn't have the same interests and i got bored of them very easily.
I bloomed, and became my self again! A lot of people don't recognize me anymore. I am much more self confident and do everything I want to do!

You just need to look deep down what exactly is missing you will soon find it and then work your way from there and set down goals how to mend that problem

Otherwise, therapy helps, but not always.

Good luck

Feel free to Pm if you want to talk about it
post #19 of 22
I can only speak from my experiences, of course, but I was also lonely when I was married to my first husband.

Now my husband is my very best friend and I rarely feel lonely, only sometimes when he is away on business... I'd say you haven't found the right partner yet, but that's just my two cents. Good luck.
post #20 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaireBear View Post
Maybe trying a new hobby would help? If you're a little depressed or feeling lonely, having a fun activity to look forward to on a regular basis might help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fwan View Post
When i was with my ex i felt that way but i didn't have many friends to go to, at least not the right ones that made me happy and comfortable for me to be my self. Something large was missing, sometimes i knew what it was other times not. When we broke up, i had to work on my self, picked up my pieces, i finally found the right people to hang out with, the people i hung out with before were not bad, just we didn't have the same interests and i got bored of them very easily.
I bloomed, and became my self again! A lot of people don't recognize me anymore. I am much more self confident and do everything I want to do!

You just need to look deep down what exactly is missing you will soon find it and then work your way from there and set down goals how to mend that problem

Otherwise, therapy helps, but not always.

Good luck

Feel free to Pm if you want to talk about it
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwampWitch View Post
I can only speak from my experiences, of course, but I was also lonely when I was married to my first husband.

Now my husband is my very best friend and I rarely feel lonely, only sometimes when he is away on business... I'd say you haven't found the right partner yet, but that's just my two cents. Good luck.
thankyou everyone!
post #21 of 22
First of all do you have any interests and hobbies outside of your relationship? Do you still spend time with your girl friends doing "girly" things like shopping or getting together for dinner or lunch once a week, or an evening out dancing with them once a week?

Expecting to spend all of your time with your partner is not realistic and of course will lead to loneliness if they are continuing to pursue their own interests.

The most healthy relationships involve communication. Lots and lots of communication. I'm not talking about how the weather is or how work went. I'm talking deep, soul wrenching discussions about wants, likes, dislikes, desires, future goals, and feelings; not only of love, but of sadness, loneliness, anger etc. A couple that can't or won't discuss those issues doesn't stand a chance of staying together.

It does sound like you have some depression going on too. And seeing your doctor about it wouldn't be a bad idea.

However, start to pick up interests outside of your relationship. Take a class, be it educational, art, exercise or whatever interests you. Sign up as a volunteer at your local hospital once or twice a week. Just to get yourself out of the house doing something just for you.

It's great to have togetherness with your partner, but it's also important that neither of you become dependent on the other for entertainment and happiness. It's important that you both be able to find your own ways to those means on your own, while still being in the relationship.

Spend time together, but both of you need to spend time on your own with your own friends and doing your own interests too.
post #22 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natalie_ca View Post
First of all do you have any interests and hobbies outside of your relationship? Do you still spend time with your girl friends doing "girly" things like shopping or getting together for dinner or lunch once a week, or an evening out dancing with them once a week?

Expecting to spend all of your time with your partner is not realistic and of course will lead to loneliness if they are continuing to pursue their own interests.

The most healthy relationships involve communication. Lots and lots of communication. I'm not talking about how the weather is or how work went. I'm talking deep, soul wrenching discussions about wants, likes, dislikes, desires, future goals, and feelings; not only of love, but of sadness, loneliness, anger etc. A couple that can't or won't discuss those issues doesn't stand a chance of staying together.

It does sound like you have some depression going on too. And seeing your doctor about it wouldn't be a bad idea.

However, start to pick up interests outside of your relationship. Take a class, be it educational, art, exercise or whatever interests you. Sign up as a volunteer at your local hospital once or twice a week. Just to get yourself out of the house doing something just for you.

It's great to have togetherness with your partner, but it's also important that neither of you become dependent on the other for entertainment and happiness. It's important that you both be able to find your own ways to those means on your own, while still being in the relationship.

Spend time together, but both of you need to spend time on your own with your own friends and doing your own interests too.
thankyou, that's fantastic advice!
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